Four Weeks
by Elvirina
Summary: COMPLETE. Follow the journey of a destined love between a FEMALE Jasper and Alice, who were brought together by fate, and bonded by a Raw, Intense and an unfiltered connection towards one another. Femme slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**Another thanks to mkystich, one of my favorite FF writers of all times. Thanks for the Banner, hun. I just need to upload it. LOL **

**Now authors have done every possible thing to Edward, son of a mob boss, been a prostitute, living as a church boy and been a controlling freak with an inclination to kinky sex and dominance. **

**Now it was my time to let my creative mind run free and I played around with Jasper. For all of you to understand what the hell is going on, I changed Jasper slightly, it is still the same person, just not in the same package. MY Jasper is FEMALE!**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**WARNING:**

**Do not read if you are a homophobe.**

**Do not read if you are against explicit sexual context.**

**Do not read if you think Leah is a soft, gentle and caring person.**

**Please do read if you can say no to all of the above and I'll see you in the comments below.**

**BIG FUCKING HAPPY NEW YEAR**

oooooOOOOooooo

**Week One**

The spray of the warm water was sharp and fierce against my back. I leaned my hands against the wall and enjoyed the solitude for a few moments.

"I swear to god that your breasts are so fucking perfect." Leah's voice was deep and lacked the feminine tenor most women possessed. Her hands smoothed around my waist and slipped further up my body and cradled my breasts. Her hands, though, hardly lacked the skill of a female touch. She had the same equipment and knew exactly what to do with it. She pinched my nipples and rolled them expertly. I moaned and my arms bracing the wall softened all the way into my bones. Her lips were soft against my neck as she took a small bite at my skin. It hurt the slightest, but just balancing between pleasure and pain.

"We're going to be late." I rasped, knowing Leah wouldn't let me go just yet. But we had an important meeting this morning we couldn't afford to miss.

"I don't give a shit." Her very skilled right hand slipped down over my wet stomach and muscles deep in my belly clenched in anticipation. Her fingers smoothed into my sex. "You've been thorough." She mused biting me a little harder, it pinched. I moaned as she started rubbing me. I knew she preferred me clean shaven and Leah was the best fuck I ever had, so it seemed only fair to comply to her demand.

Her other hand smoothed down over my ass and in between my legs. The rubbing of my clit and her fingers slipping easily into me took a mere few seconds to send me tumbling over the edge. My moaning and groaning ricocheted off the walls in the small shower cubicle.

Coming down from my high I felt her teeth dig into my neck once more, hard this time. I hated that Leah had a thing for biting me this hard, but she did. I had an inclination she was marking her territory, but that last one was going to leave a mark that was for sure. She had an edge to be slightly rough and if someone told me she had a room in the cellar with all sorts of kinky toys and chains, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

Finishing the top button of my shirt and closing my distressed jeans, I stared at the discoloration just below my ear. I ran my fingers over the mark. That would take a few days to fade. Leah's dark eyes locked on mine in the mirror and she smirked cocking a brow. I knew she was daring me to say something. She would have no problem leading a dom/sub relationship I suspected. I held my tongue and chose not to argue over the bite mark this time. She was fucking marking me on purpose. I dropped my hand from the dark purplish hue and finished my make-up.

I stepped onto the elevator closely followed by Leah. The myriad of people nodded a silent good morning at both of us. No one knew we left the building together most nights, but thought we just happened to arrive the same time every morning.

I wasn't sure I would call Leah my girlfriend, but I was confident that was the title she would use to label me. Yes, I was with her and had been for a few months, but feelings I was supposed to have for her when considering I was sharing her bed and having mind-blowing sex every day, seemed to be lacking.

I tipped my ankle letting the slim heel of my shoe grind into the floor. Her breath was warm against my neck in the confined space and the blood in my veins started to rush through my body. Leah was sex on legs and I knew it was her primary weapon to keep me in her thrall. I couldn't say no to her and she knew it. So those feelings I wasn't having for her, I speculated she had for me and sex was her way of keeping me safely locked to her bed.

I slipped through the hall of small cubicles, making my way to my small office. I checked my hair in the mirror, taming a few wayward strands. I needed to look perfect and in control as this morning's meeting was important. It could be a turning point of my career. Aro was important; this new project of his was no exception. Anything he touched could very easily turn into gold. I glanced at the bite mark on my neck. I fished my concealer out of my bag, and drew the soft pad of make up over the dark hues. I wasn't able to hide it completely, but this would have to do.

"Are you ready?" My boss, Mr. Marcus asked. He was the owner of this growing establishment and he had the tendency to look utterly bored, but under that flat exterior was a sharp and often crude businessman.

"Absolutely." I smiled, closed the compact and dumped it in my bag again. I picked up the neat stack of suggestions I had prepared the past Friday. I drew a deep breath, feeling calm spread through me. I was ready.

I met Leah just outside of the conference room. Passing her she smirked and glanced at my neck contently. I narrowed my eyes at her and she provokingly ran her finger under her nose smelling it, then suckling the tip of it. It clenched in my stomach. I hated that she had this control over me, but I also hated she was so blatant about sex. Sure, pretty much every one in the office knew about my sexual preference, but no one knew it was Leah that had me at the verge of screaming out my orgasms. I figured it wouldn't blow over so easily if people knew I was fucking my boss. I was sure some would assume and draw the conclusion that I was sleeping my way to the top. That wasn't the case by far. I had met Leah at my favorite bar a week before I started this job, had a one night stand with her in a semi drunken stupor and things had evolved from there.

I was happy in my life; I wasn't searching for anything else. I had landed a job that I loved and gave me every possibility I wanted. I had a sex life and a non-girlfriend that wasn't pushing for a commitment. My brother, Emmett, lived close by and I was fortunate enough to see him a couple of times a week. Nothing was really missing from my life. It was quiet, easy and I was content.

I slipped through the door, choosing to ignore that slightly rude gesture from Leah. The room was filled with a heavy male cologne that seemed to coat everything in its harsh fragrance. I glanced at the man whose skin looked almost like paper. He was polished, exfoliated, and shaven to perfection. His eyes were a milky pale blue and falsely warm. He basically made me skin crawl.

Mr. Marcus closed the door as we were all assembled. We were all introduced to Aro, though, I knew who he was, I had never met him before. He smiled widely, his shiny white teeth gleaming almost dangerously.

"This is my very talented designer." He announced with virtually fatherly pride. I glanced at tiny girl. She was pixie-like, almost thin in the extreme. She was wearing a very feminine dress that hugged nicely at the tiny waist. She was short, her eye line just below mine. I was never blessed with long legs, the main reason I always wore heels. They gave me a slight advantage, but this girl in front of me in her beaded ballerinas did nothing to hide how vertically challenged she was. "This is Alice." Aro continued, oblivious to my staring. I tore my gaze from the big blue eyes, completely trapped in a daze.

She greeted my boss and then Leah. I held my hand out and took hers. It was warm, soft and completely confident as I locked my fingers around hers. Her smile widened and I swore it was warmer than the one she had given the others. As our skins touched, I felt a delicious tingle move through my body.

"Jasper." I said, declaring my name. I was just a few beats too late to be professional, but I was taken aback by the stunning and beautiful girl in front of me. Her hair was dark and thick around the angelic face. She was mesmerizing.

"Jasper?" She echoed and frowned, her voice like a light summer's breeze. I smiled sheepishly as that was the normal reaction to my name. Seeing my name on a business card, a person would surely expect a man, hair on the chest, a hand like a shovel, and definitely packing in the lower department, but I was all female. My mother had just refused to pick a new name when her first born was a girl and not a boy as expected.

"Yes." I smiled cordially.

"Now let's get started." Mr. Marcus chimed in. I was pulled from my reverie and pushed back my immediate fascination with Alice. I wasn't going to screw this meeting up because the girl I needed to impress had an alluring bubbly smile. I refused to. I had worked too damn hard to land this job and then lose it because I was having a hormonal induced fantasy.

Throughout the meeting, I kept meeting Alice's soft wide eyes. She looked away every time I caught her. It was cute as hell.

The meeting ended before I wanted it to, but business was done and I had all I needed to put the proposal and graphics together for Alice's new clothing line. Before standing up, she slipped her business card across the table. "Feel free to call me if you have any more questions." She said softly. Next to me, Leah groaned irritated under her breath. I was sure I wasn't the only one who heard it. Alice glanced below my ear and I brought my hand up to cover the mark she inadvertently would have seen.

Going back to my office, I slipped into the bathroom for a moment. Leah was sitting in the chair across from my desk when I entered my office. I closed the door behind me, knowing the conversation could be private.

"That was interesting." She mused sourly when I sat down.

"What was?" I asked, slightly confused. I set the papers and notes down on my table.

"Alice." She said with a slight mocking to her tone. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Leah…" I started but didn't know what else to say. Leah clearly hadn't been oblivious to my fascination with the striking girl in the lovely dress today. Alice.

She smiled her hard smile, when she was slightly unhappy with something. "My place, Sushi and sex?" She cocked a brow. This was so typical Leah, the answer to fix issues to her was always a fuck to relieve the tension, other than the sexual frustration. "I would love to eat you the before the Sushi." She said, completely unashamed.

I bit the inside of my cheek, suddenly not feeling like going to her place at all. "Er… not tonight. I got some… uh stuff to do." I stammered. I was flustered at why I didn't want to. I had never said no to Leah, but now the thought of having another night locked in her sexual spell didn't thrill me. My mind wandered to Alice.

Leah narrowed her eyes at me and huffed under her breath. She didn't respond, but just left my office. I was glad for the solitude and decided to bury all impending ideas of Alice underneath a ton of work, basically digging myself into a hole with the graphics for her new brand logo.

It was dark when I switched the computer off and decided to walk home. I picked up a salad from the deli and spent the night alone in front of the TV.

The morning was quiet and I had been locked in a comatose-like sleep. Being alone today was a strange relief from the usual morning orgasm offered by Leah. The day was clear and warm, so I chose to walk to work. I picked out a pair of my more comfortable heels, knowing my feet would approve. I stopped at the coffee shop, longing for the caffeine to really shock my system awake.

"Hi." I blurted the second I saw her there close to the entrance of the coffee shop. She held out the cup for me and I just stared like an imbecile.

"I got this for you." Her voice was uncertain.

"Uh, thanks, Alice." I mumbled and closed my fingers around the brown carton container. Her fingers grazed mine, but she didn't pull them away as you would do with an almost stranger. My fingers tingled the same way they did when I shook her hand yesterday. "How did you know I would be here?" I asked confused though my initial shock of basically bumping into Alice at my local coffee joint.

Alice shrugged. "Just a hunch." She glanced at me for a long moment. Her lips parted slightly and I stared hypnotized. "I still have a few minutes until I have to be at the office." She paused. "You wanna sit for a while?" Her big blue eyes were insecure, but sincere.

"Sure." I mouthed. I wasn't sure it was a good idea at all. Instinctively, I wanted nothing more than to be close to Alice, but I also figured the chance of her wanting to be close to me in that same way was slim to none. Everything about her was pushing me into overdrive. I wasn't one to fall in love head over heels. I never had in the past, but with Alice I feared I would do just that.

I sat down on the cold plastic stool and left the steaming cup of coffee in front of me.

"So how is work?" Alice asked, clearly making conversation.

"Good. Your proposal is coming together rather nicely, I must say." I smiled foolishly as I was the one putting the damn thing together. But she had me puzzled to why exactly she was here. It couldn't be a coincidence as she already had a coffee ready for me.

"Sounds good." She smiled a fraction, pulling her lips free of her strangely enchanting teeth. They were perfect and straight and just behind those soft glossed lips. She ran the tip of her tongue across the edge of her front teeth. I could barely see it, but it was pink, glistering with moisture and I wanted nothing more than run mine across hers. I crossed my legs and tightened the muscles in my legs to stop from squirming in my seat. I had never felt this instant attraction before and I was completely enthralled by her. I wanted to consume her, every petite inch of her. I wanted to run my tongue across her lips, her breasts and drown my mouth between her legs. I curled my toes in my shoes; I was in fucking big trouble and I hardly knew her. "Do you live around here?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah, just a few blocks from the office. But it is hard managing a down town rent on your own, you know." I bit my tongue to stop. I knew exactly why I threw that last bit of information into the conversation, I wanted to her to know I was alone, single. Well almost. The truth was Leah was gone in a heartbeat if I had just the slightest chance in hell with Alice.

"I know." She smiled and rolled her eyes. "That's why I share a place." Share. I mulled over the word. Share, I wasn't sure I liked it, but lots of people shared apartments in New York. It didn't have to mean anything. "With Bella, we're about to have a baby soon." She smiled hugely, her eyes twinkling as she took a swig of her coffee.

My heart exploded and landed shattered in my shoes. _We_, a goddamn _WE_! So she was gay after all, but taken. I took a sip of my coffee to hide that my face was falling apart with disappointment. Having coffee with Alice wasn't so intriguing after all. I glanced at the door, waiting for an opportunity to make a quick escape. For some reason, I couldn't bear the thought Alice was already taken. I hated that I was too late. Not that I had even expected to have a chance with her in the first place, but I would have pursued her. I knew that now.

"Congratulations." I choked out, faking a smile.

"Thank you." She thrilled and smiled all happy and bubbly. She did that thing with her tongue again, barely running it across her teeth. My jaw clenched and my fingers locked hard around the cup.

She hesitated for a long moment and insecurity crawled across her face, but her blue eyes were so determined. Slowly, she reached across the table and ran her pointer finger across mine. It tingled and her finger was so delicate and soft. I choked back the sigh building in my throat. I closed my eyes momentarily, relishing her gentle touch and trying to figure out what this all meant. What was she telling me? Though, it was clear as day.

Against all my instincts, I pulled my hands clutching the cup back from her touch. "Uh… er." I stammered. Discomfort was shaking the air between us, commanding full attention.

Alice's face fell and her smile faltered completely. "I thought…" She hesitated. "I thought you were… uh, gay. I mean that's what I was told." She mouthed carefully.

I smiled at her boldness. It took guts to be so straightforward. "I am." I answered confidently. "But I just don't think this is such a good idea, Alice." I muttered, hating saying those words.

She smiled thinly. "Okay." All her big smiles and vivacious charm dissipated.

I inclined my head and my narrowed my eyes at her. "Why Alice? Why would you…" My lips twitched, it seemed presumptuous of me to think she was making a pass at me with just one small graze of a finger. My nerves were running amuck with this unexpected turn of events.

She frowned. "I thought, I mean, I have this picture in my head of us."

I stared at her. "What picture?"

Her smile was shy and reserved. "I just have these feelings sometimes, ideas, you know a hunch about things. And I have a hunch about you, Jasper." She said confidently, a curl of her sunny personality finding a way to her smile.

I chuckled lightly at her reasoning, it sounded slightly insane. "But Alice, you just told me you have a girlfriend and that you're expecting a family. So excuse me, and I don't mean to be rude, but why are you doing this then?" I glanced down at her hand.

She clenched her palm over her mouth and gave out a small squeal, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Oh my god, Oh no, no, no, no, no. I am such a klutz. Bella is not my girlfriend, not at all. Yes, she is having a baby, and I agreed to help her in any way that I could. That we would be each other's family, but we don't er… you know." She shrugged and flushed adorably.

"Have sex." I countered, seeing if I could fluster her even more by putting her on the spot. It was rather endearing to watch. I was intrigued by her outgoing animated reactions.

"Yes… uh, no. I mean no. We don't have sex." She answered and averted her eyes from mine. She exhaled slowly and controlled through her parted lips.

I took another sip of coffee and waited patiently for her to return her eyes to me. "So do you, Alice, have sex with girls?" I asked when those beautiful blue eyes retuned to me again.

Her breath hitched and she hesitated. "Not really." Her voice was tiny.

I cocked a brow, slightly confused. "Are you even gay, Alice?"

She bit her lip, tapping her delicate and nail polished fingertip against the table. "I'm not sure." She answered honestly.

"But you wanna test that theory." I finished. The image of her testing the speculation of her sexual orientation with me was entertaining to say the least.

She nodded and stared at the table. I glanced at her hand still placed on the table not far from mine. It was left there like she had forgotten it. Her dark hair fell forward hiding her face in the shadows. I was in nothing but awe for her bold move. That stuff took courage. It wasn't like a normal heterosexual relationship where meeting a cute guy you could expect he just might be into you. Being gay, you had to consider the object of your affection hardly had the same preferences as you.

I decided to help her out a bit. "I'll be at Aro's party on Friday; perhaps I will see you there?"

"Yes." She beamed, trying to control her wide grin.

I ran my finger over the back of her hand. "I'll see you there. I have to get to the office." I said and slipped off my chair. Never in my life had I been this elated about a company party.

"Thank you, Jasper." She smiled at me appreciatively.

Leaving the coffee shop, my heart was dancing franticly in my chest. I was a predator on the hunt and Alice was mine.

I met Alice every morning where she patiently waited for me with a cup of coffee in hand and that alluring smile. I had nothing but admiration for her tenacity. And every morning I elegantly avoided Leah. I had spent one night at her place, which I felt horrible about. Leah had been pushy, wanting to go down on me and I had given in, but it was utterly impossible for me to get into it, let alone get off. So I did something I never did before – I faked an orgasm! I couldn't get Alice out of my head and I felt like I was deceiving her for some reason by seeing Leah. I found Alice more and more attractive, which considering my causal past was impressive.

She was a bubbly person, chatting about everything and nothing. Mostly about her friend Bella, whom I hoped I would get the chance to meet someday. Not because she sounded like an overtly fascinating person, but because Alice was so fond of her. I wanted more than anything to be a part of her world, belong with her and know the people she knew.

oooooOOOOooooo

**Please let me know what you think… love it – hate it, anything will do!**

**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**This is the second step of my adventure between Jasper and Alice. It has been fun developing these two and make them interact. **

**If you are interested in a physical description of MY JASPER check out chapter 14 of my other story Starting Over. There she is described by Bella.**

**Enjoy and I hope to see you in the comments below.**

oooooOOOOooooo

**The First Weekend**

"Thanks for the coffee – again." I smiled softly. I hated the clock was ticking so damn fast and I was late for work again today, but I couldn't find it in me to hurry and lose another minute of her company.

"You're welcome." She chimed. She glanced at her watch. I knew time was up yet again. I pondered for a short moment about asking her out on a proper date. I felt insecure doing it, as I usually never had been the one playing my hand first. Since Alice had already declared that she was interested, but inexperienced, I didn't really expect her to come right out and ask.

A buzzing followed by the obscene lyrics '_do it like they do on the discovery channel'_ sounded from my pocket. The ridiculous Bloodhound Gang song interrupted me just when I had gathered the courage to ask her out. I stood there for a moment with my mouth hanging open hating my brother to the point where I would gladly poison him with arsenic. "Excuse me." I said and smiled, hoping she wouldn't take offense when I picked up and ended the embarrassing tune.

"Emmett." I said when I put the phone to my ear. He had set the song on my phone as a ringtone for every time he called. He even coded it, so I couldn't change it. I considered changing phones just to rid myself of it, but I figured Emmett would just pull another prank on me if I did. That left me with the lyrics of that song_,_ every time he wanted something.

"Hey sis. What the fuck took you so long? Got your head stuck between a pair of long female legs or somewhere else interesting?" He grinned loudly and I groaned.

"Have some damn manners, Emmett. I can promise you that she is interesting." I smirked and glanced at Alice.

"Really?" Emmett answered and sounded surprised. I knew why. I never told him anything about my love life, nor did he ever really meet any of my potential girlfriends. It happened a few times when I ran into him out on a date, but his general knowledge was confined to my sexual preferences. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Yes, really." I answered quietly. I watched Alice glance at her watch again and tap her foot impatiently. I held my hand over the phone and mouthed that I would see her later. Alice nodded and to my huge surprise and perhaps to her too, she leaned in and gave me a soft peck on the cheek. "See you tonight," she added. I gaped and stared at her pretty fucking stunned when she did that, but on the inside I was thrilled. Yeah, I was definitely going to get her.

"What do you want, Emmett?" I asked when I recovered my equilibrium.

"Can I borrow your place tonight?"

"You have a date." I guessed. It wouldn't be the first time that he utilized my place for his casual partners. He preferred it to the dorm where he lived at, as there he was never assured privacy with one of his many groupies.

"Yep." He barked shamelessly. "You're never there anyway." Though he used my place recreationally, there was never a trace that he had been there. He used the spare room and the sheets were always changed. He knew if he didn't play by my rules, he wouldn't be allowed back. I wanted nothing to do with his escapades.

"Er… no can do. I'll be home. I don't want to know or hear you within a ten mile radius, so you're just going to have to figure something else out."

He groaned loudly into the phone. I laughed. Normally I would have said yes, but since I wasn't planning on spending any more nights with Leah, I figured I would be home most evenings. Emmett begged for me to change my mind while I walked to my office building. I pushed the door open with my shoulder, shutting my phone off and bumped into Leah.

She followed me all the way to the office and basically slammed the door behind her without having said one word to me. I fidgeted and settled my coffee on the table. Leah leaned her palms to the table and glared at me for a long moment. She looked so harsh when she acted like this. "Are you fucking her?"

I widened my eyes. "Who?" I blurted surprised.

"You are not that fucking dense. The little bird girl. Alice. Is that why you are avoiding me?" She hissed.

I chewed the inside of my cheek. I decided now was the time to get out. Now was the time to clean the slate. "Yes." I answered evenly. Leah gaped at me, clearly not expecting me to be so blunt. "I am not fucking her, not that it is any of your business."

"It is so my business." She sneered. "You are _my_ fucking girlfriend."

"Am I Leah? Did we ever agree on that? I can't remember that we did. Be reasonable. You wanted to push me into that category, but I don't love you. I don't have those kinds of feelings for you. Be honest with yourself. If you search deep inside your heart, you would already know that too." It was like she deflated right in front of me, all her pumped up anger was like air going out of a balloon. She sighed and nodded.

"I knew that." She said softer than I ever heard her speak. "So it was just sex?"

"Yes." I sighed. "I'm sorry Leah. We're not right for each other." I paused for a long moment, debating whether or not to get further into the discussion. "Do you even love me?"

"Not sure." She answered after a long silent moment and glanced at me through her lashes.

"You like the control, Leah. Falling in love is not something you do." I finished.

"Yeah, I like control." She admitted and I just realized how much she was always in command of me. With me breaking off what we had, she lost that control. I sighed hoping I just played my cards right and avoided a huge office fight. That would have been embarrassing. She glared at me for the longest time and left without saying another word. I wasn't sure if she was truly hurt or if it was just her ego that was bruised. With her, it was probably the latter. She just needed to fully realize that.

I ended the workday early finishing everything for the meeting with Alice and Aro Monday morning. I took a walk through Central Park letting my mind run free. I was excited for tonight. I couldn't wait to see Alice again and have the chance to actually spend some time with her. My jacket pocked buzzed and the crude melody of Bloodhound Gang blared again. I knew it was Emmett once more trying to get his grubby hands on my apartment tonight.

"What now." I sighed when I picked up the phone.

"What? Can't a guy ask his sister out for dinner?"

I groaned. "Since when did you ever ask me out for dinner? The answer is still no, but I will take you up on the food."

"Damn it." He hissed. "But I could eat. KFC in ten?"

"No, I am not having KFC. You are taking me out for dinner. I want to go to a proper restaurant. I'll be at your place in half an hour. And if you wear that heinous Beavis and Butthead t-shirt, I am going to kick your ass and set you on fire."

"Feisty. I wish my women were like that." He grinned loudly and I groaned. "See you in thirty." He said and hung up.

Dinner with Emmett was what I needed to kill the time. He had been his usual loud and obnoxious self. He kept begging to use my place, but I vehemently refused. He had a sure thing lined up at a party later, he said. I just rolled my eyes.

I rushed through a shower and straightened my shoulder long hair a bit. I threw on some make-up making sure it wasn't too much. I rushed out the door after realizing that I was running late.

The party at Aro's was packed with pretentious and pompous asses, but I wasn't here to see any of them. I was here to see Alice. I cut through the crowd. My hope dissipating as she probably already left again. I hated people being late, so why I was late to this place that I really wanted to be. It was beyond me. I snatched a glass from one of the waiters and sipped on the bubbly champagne.

"Hey, you." A soft chirpy voice said from behind me. "I almost gave up on you."

My heart lurched to a halt and I almost choked on the drink. "Alice." I said softly, trying to curb my enthusiasm. I glanced down her dress, completely unable to avoid the subtle, but rather inviting cleavage. "You look nice." I managed. She smiled in response. I stared at her glossed lips.

"Thank you." Her eyes were alive and she seemed almost nervous. She normally had this confident _'don't push me around just because I am small'_ façade, but now she looked anxious. She did that thing where she just grazed her teeth with her tongue. I realized it was a nervous tick of hers. I wanted to make her even more frazzled just to get her to do it again, but I decided against it.

"So are you comfortable around these people?" I asked. I didn't want to be rude and say what I really felt. There was no reason to play the Neanderthal card. Alice was so feminine and soft and I didn't want to scare her.

"With these brain dead gold diggers and guys born with silver spoons up their asses? No, I am not comfortable." She giggled. "But I do know how to mingle."

I saw my opportunity. "Want to get out of here?"

"I would love to, but I can't. Uh… Bella came with me and I don't want to leave her behind."

"Of course not. So I finally get to meet her?" I asked and inclined my head, smiling.

She did her teeth licking thing. I wished that I could lean in and kiss her. I wished that I could run my tongue across her lip and taste her gloss. It smelled almost fruity. She glanced at me through her lashes, apprehension was thick in her eyes. "Uh, Bella, doesn't know…" Alice didn't finish. She didn't have to.

I smiled and cocked a brow at her. "That you've been flirting with me all week?" I finished. I watched as her eyes widened and her breath hitched.

"Uh, yes."

"It will be my secret, then." I said gently.

Alice glanced past me and frowned. "What happened to your neck?" I froze. In my rush I had forgotten to cover up the dulling shades of the bite mark. It wasn't completely gone, just in the last grotesque stages of yellows and purples.

"Nothing." I muttered.

"So I shouldn't worry then?" She asked. I locked eyes with her and spotted her tongue peeking out. I read between the lines. She knew very well what that mark was. I might as well be as honest as I could.

"No, you don't need to worry." I sighed, figuring out how to be as subtle as possible. "Just finished business." I bit the inside of my cheek, hoping like hell she wouldn't be put off by knowing this. This week had been going so well. I didn't want to kill anything before it really started.

"I'm glad." She murmured. Her eyes were twinkling with joy.

"Hey." A soft voice said. A girl glanced at me with her brown eyes then turned her eyes to Alice. "Am I interrupting?"

Alice flushed slightly at her neck drawing an uneasy breath. "No… I was just talking to… uh, Jasper. Jasper, this is Bella. Bella, Jasper." She rushed. The girl turned her attentive brown eyes to me.

"It's so nice to meet you." She looked genuinely sincere as she held out her hand.

I shook her hand and put in a "nice to meet you too." She had a sweet and friendly face, pale, but healthy. "Alice told me a lot about you." I threw in and Alice's eyes widened. I laughed under my breath. She had mentioned Bella multiple times during the past week. "How's everything? How's the baby?"

"Great... the baby's well." Bella answered, her eyes widening questioningly. She stared at me wondering for a moment and then composed herself. No, Bella didn't have the faintest clue who I was or what her friend was up to.

"That's wonderful." I answered politely. I glanced at Alice, who looked on completely on edge. I didn't want to put her on the spot, so I decided to make my exit. I had hoped to get the chance to ask her out, but with her friend tagging along, now was not the time. "I have to go." I said cheerfully, even though I hated my chance was cut short, but Alice clearly wasn't ready to tell Bella anything about the theory she was testing. We hadn't even been out, so who was I to judge? "It was so nice to meet you, Bella. Alice, I guess that I will see you later."

Alice smiled a little sadly, but nodded.

I mingled my way through the party and stopped to talk to Aro shortly. I congratulated him on his new place while from the corner of my eye I watched Alice and Bella leave. I locked eyes with Alice when the elevator doors closed and she smiled that alluring _'I am so interested in you'_ smile, which I had grown accustomed to over the past week. It was a smile that made my stomach clench. Oh, how I wanted to beg to taste her lips, and I never begged!

I left the party mere minutes later and decided to call it an early evening. I checked my phone only to see Leah had left a message. I decided not to listen to it as I was done with her. Only one girl had my eye.

I went through my mail that I hadn't checked in days when I found the business card that Alice had given me on the first day. I flipped it over and noticed a handwritten phone number on the back. I didn't give it another thought, just punched in the number.

"Hello." Alice chimed softly. I relished the sound of her voice.

"Hey Alice, it's Jasper." I waited for a moment, listening to her breathing picking up slightly. "Are you free tomorrow?" I plunged in before I lost my nerve.

"I might be." She answered coy. I chuckled.

"Can I take you out?" It was silent for a long time.

"Sure." She answered a little bleak.

I ventured a guess. "Bella's there?"

"Yep." She answered curtly.

"Okay, how about I meet you outside your place at seven then. Just text me the address."

"I'll do that… and I look forward to it." The unsubtle playful bubbly tenor was back in her voice.

"Me too." I answered feeling my heart move in erratic jerks in my chest. "Very much. I'll see you tomorrow."

I couldn't sleep during the night. I was excited and scared at the same time. I never took initiative, I had always been the one asked out, the one picked up, the one pursued. Sure, Alice pursued me, but I doubted she had a clue what she was doing or she had to be horribly insecure about the whole thing. I sure as hell wouldn't let her slip through my fingers because she was too terrified to make a move.

Every time I thought about her, my stomach bubbled and I longed to see her, talk to her, to hear her voice, to watch her face light up to some indifferent comment about a sweater. I lay wondering how it would feel like to kiss her, to feel the skin of her stomach. I imagined how she would taste, what flavor would hit my tongue if I went down on her. I was completely and utterly infatuated with her. I felt the hunger rise inside of my body and I gave up fighting it. I slipped out of bed and picked up the small vibrator from the bottom of my sock drawer. I got myself off a few times thinking about Alice, seeing her tomorrow, and imagining that I wasn't entirely alone. Sated, I was finally able to get to sleep.

oooooOOOOooooo

I had never been on an easy first date, but that was exactly how I would describe this date with Alice – easy. The conversation was light and even funny. Alice was fun to be around. She was extremely charming and graceful in everything that she did. I simply sat back at dinner watching how she elegantly wrapped everyone around her finger, including me.

The hardest part of this date was to pick out what to wear. I had gone through just about every pair of skinny jeans I had, debated over what kind of top to put on and then battled my hair for about an hour. The flat iron tamed my wavy tresses and I was finally pleased when it was straight as a nail. I had opted for the latest pair of skinny jeans, a simple button down and a necklace. I didn't want to look too done up, but not like I didn't care either.

"When did you come out to your parents?" She asked softly. We had left the restaurant and were strolling slowly towards her place. I didn't want to go for drinks or anything else as I just wanted to be alone with her. I wanted her all to myself.

"I never really did. One day my dad pulled me aside and said he needed to talk to me. I was afraid he was going to tell me he had cancer or something, but then he asked me if I was kissing girls instead of boys. Those were his exact words." I smiled at the memory.

"So what did you say? I mean, weren't you nervous?"

"I don't really remember if I was nervous. At my house, we have always been relatively honest with each other. I saw no reason to lie to my dad, so I told him I did kiss girls and that I liked it. He was sad for me for a while because he thought it was an unnecessary complication to my life. I didn't need the stigma of being different, but he would never judge me for my choices."

"So, they weren't mad at you?" She asked wide-eyed. The fear crept across her eyes like telling someone that very thing would condemn her.

"No. Now the funny part was when my parents sat my younger brother, Emmett, down for a serious talk. They told him that it was important that he understood my homosexuality and that he should support me. Me being gay was not to be treated lightly or as a cause for judgment. Emmett just roared with laughter asking how dense my parents were for thinking that he didn't know. Emmett figuring out that I liked pussy…sorry, his words not mine… was as easy as opening a piece of gum and chewing it." I bit the flesh inside of my cheek feeling offensive and blatant for using that crude expression to her face. I was used to using the word, but Alice probably wasn't. At least, not in that context. I glanced at her and she didn't seem fazed by it at all.

"So, they're all okay with you?"

"I think so. They have never said otherwise." I paused. "You never talked to anyone about this?"

"No. I mean there was never anyone I felt safe enough with." She answered quietly.

"Not even, Bella?"

Alice frowned. "No. I just don't want to make her uncomfortable. I know she doesn't share this idea that I have and it's not like I can just blurt it out." She shrugged, probably feigning her indifference. "And I definitely can't tell her now that I share an apartment with her." She said quietly.

"She's your friend. You should give her the benefit of the doubt. It's not something fun carrying it around all by yourself." I offered.

"I am not alone anymore. I can talk to you now. Right, Jasper?" She gazed at me with those enchanting big blue eyes and I melted. She was so trusting and open. It was staggering. The mentioning of Alice not being alone and her confiding in me sparked a realization. I laced her fingers into mine and pulled her down the alley just beside us. It was lit up by streetlight, but it was more private.

"How serious are you about this, Alice?" I asked softly.

Her lips parted and that damn soft pink tongue peeked out, slipping across her teeth. "I am serious, but I am also confused. I don't have this part of my life figured out." She paused. "I like you, Jasper. You are gentle and understanding and I want to get to know you better… a lot better. I am really curious about you. Everything about you." She said quietly, her feminine voice so soft and breathy. The distance between us was limited. I couldn't help brushing my fingers down her cheek, needing to feel her skin when she was so honest. It was one of her most attractive qualities - her openness and willingness to share her thoughts with me.

"Can I kiss you?" I dared. I figured asking was the best policy since Alice just told me about her insecurities. I wanted one thing for sure. I wanted to lock my lips to hers. Her eyes twinkled with curiosity and lowered to my lips. Shifting her gaze back up, her eyes shined with approval. I placed my hands on her slim shoulders and pushed her half a step backwards against the wall. Alice, brave as ever slipped her fingers into my jeans pockets and pulled my body flush against hers. I relished the warmth from her and the feeling of her soft cheeks when I cradled her face.

"Yes, you can kiss me." She answered tenderly.

I pressed my lips to hers lightly, giving a small rub of my mouth. Alice reciprocated. I could sense her gloss transferring to my lips. It had a faint smell of passion fruit. I smiled internally as that was really how I felt about her. Passionate. I was about to pull back, not wanting to be rude and slip her some tongue, though, it was exactly what I wanted to do. Alice refused the distance, placed a hand at my neck and pulled me closer again. Her mouth took over the lead and I felt her tongue slip over my lips, basically demanding access. I parted my lips inviting her in, letting my tongue mingle with hers. Her breath was soft against my face and her mouth so deliciously warm. She was skilled at exploring my mouth and all I could do was let her. I locked my hands harder around her face, while pushing my fingers into her hair. We kept this delicate dance going, letting it exceed far beyond what was actually proper for a first date good night kiss. Neither of us seemed to be willing to end it and my body was growing hungrier for this to develop. It tingled throughout my body and deep inside my belly, muscles started to dance expectantly. I wondered if Alice had a clue what she was doing to me, or if she was feeling that same desire. She probably wasn't. I didn't expect her to know what was truly going on between us. She wasn't used to dating girls, perhaps she was just going with the flow of things because they were new and exciting.

We stayed in that rather scummy alley and kissed. It wasn't how I imagined it, but I had never imagined having someone as brave and curious as Alice in my life. I was used to casual and uncomplicated.

oooooOOOOooooo

**Now it is time for you to speak up… so tell me what you think.**

**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**I am posting this a bit early, but it was just sitting on my computer waiting to be put out there and I am a fucking impatient person.**

**So you had their first kiss, now it is time to follow Jasper's fascination with Alice once more. I hope you like the chapter and I expect to hear from you in the comments below.**

**A few was wondering what Bella would say to Alice going around and kissing girls. Well **_**Starting**__**Over**_** covers that event - Chapter 14 girls.**

**Also a major thanks to those of you who dare to take a chance on this story. Thank you for the alerts and comments. I always reply back to the best of my shitty ability. Enough bullshitting. Go read Lovelies.**

oooooOOOOooooo

**Week Two**

The date had been perfect. She was so outgoing, happy and bubbly which was utterly contagious. The kiss. I hadn't been able to forget about that magic kiss. Imagine having kissed all the girls that you ever met and then just knowing when your lips touched the right ones. Alice's soft affectionate caress and her daring brave persona made it all come together for me. The moment when I mustered up all my courage to finally taste her soft glossed lips, I knew with a new clarity that she was the one for me.

I finished drying my hair. My stomach was in knots. I was frantic to get to that coffee shop to see her beautiful face. I was ecstatic and bouncing out of my skin to make time move fast enough so I could see her. I made a slightly poofy ponytail and finished the simple make up I always wore. I stepped into my heels and slammed the door behind me.

Disappointment washed over me when I saw there was no Alice waiting for me at the coffee shop. I scanned the line and the crowd hoping her small frame had been swallowed up in the throng of people. I checked my watch. I was right on time just Alice wasn't here. I bit back my frustration and figured she was just running late. I got in line and picked up two coffees praying by the time I had paid that she would have showed up. I waited silently by the door, sipping on the bitter fluid. I didn't even feel like drinking my coffee anymore. I chucked it in the garbage and stomped somberly off to my office when I realized waiting for her was fruitless. Perhaps the date hadn't been that great for her. Perhaps, I pushed her into kissing too soon. Perhaps, she finally figured out dating a girl wasn't her thing after all. The latter was an inescapable possibility that I had naively ignored because my ass had gone and caught feelings. I never did that. I never put myself out there like I had helplessly done with Alice. Now that I had, I just ended up getting hurt. It sucked. I knew it was stupid taking a chance on a female who didn't even know herself or even if she was gay. I set myself up for this one that was for sure.

I slipped into the elevator dreading the meeting now. Was I supposed to enjoy being locked in the same room with her for two hours discussing business and formalities when it was obvious that she had changed her mind? There was no way of getting out of this, so I just plastered a professional politeness across my face and did my thing. I wasn't going to let her affect me, but being stuck in that room with her, smelling her perfume, watching her tongue peek out between her teeth was going to be torture.

The time moved at a deadly pace. At ten, I watched Aro filter through the cubicles ready for our meeting. I searched for Alice, but she was even coming? I was distraught. Despite the torture, I just hoped to see her. Just as business associates.

I picked up the latest proposal and found my way to my meeting. I greeted Aro and sat down next to Leah. She was glaring at me from the corner of her eye, probably reading my gloomy face. I didn't care. She could just go fuck off.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late." Alice's chirpy voice sounded from behind me. "Just a quick trip to the ladies." She added in. I glanced over my shoulder and found those magic big blue eyes. I controlled my smile and just kept my face drawn in a polite grimace. Alice frowned for an instant. Her gaze flickered back and forth between my eyes when Aro chimed over the small gathering.

"Alice, dear, let's get started."

"Of course, Aro." She added and sat down.

I dived directly into the new graphics, the layout for the web, the logo, labeling, and every detail for her new clothing line. Alice listened attentively while giving nothing away if she loved it or hated it. There was nothing indicating if I completely surpassed her goal or if I failed miserably. At the end of the meeting, Aro turned expertly to Alice waiting for her response. I realized that he put a lot of faith into her skill. She had tried to make eye contact with me several times, but I refused to hold her eyes for too long and focused on the layout instead. It hurt to watch her gaze bore into my soul, when I couldn't have her. I would strip my soul bare for her if she wanted me, but the fact of the matter was she didn't.

She pursed her lips for a moment while glancing down at the proposal. The tension was growing thick in the room. Her sweet pink tongue peeked out. I wanted to sigh and melt in my seat. I wanted to taste that soft and sweet tongue again. It was uncomfortable watching Alice and wanting her, while knowing Leah was following my every move beside me.

"It's perfect, Jasper." She finally said, with measured enthusiasm. "Don't you think so, Aro? It is completely the vision I had - the aesthetics, the lines and the imagery. It's all there. Now, Jasper and I will finish up the infinite details. There are just a few minor specifics that we don't need to bore everyone else with." She flashed a little coy smile and waved her hand to dismiss them. What the hell was she up to?

My boss offered to take Aro for lunch, while Alice and I finished up business. Everyone else exited the room. Leah as the last person. Alice got up and closed the door, which I suspect was purposefully left open. She pulled out a chair beside me, sat down and crossed her legs just staring at me.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked. "You seem detached, distracted."

"No." I said quietly. She glanced down at her hands laid in her lap. Bright red nail polish covered her fingertips. It was utterly feminine and true to Alice's happy going attitude. I tapped my pen against the table impatiently and confused. I didn't really want to put myself out there more than I already had.

"Then I don't understand." She said honestly. "I had a great time Saturday and I thought you did too. I mean you kissed me, so I figured that meant you weren't bored out of your mind." I watched as her tongue snake out, and my toes started to curl in my shoes while grinding the heel into the floor.

"I did have a great time, Alice." I said, hammering the pen more furiously against the glass surface of the table. "You weren't at the coffee shop this morning." I said quietly. "So I put two and two together." I shrugged feigning indifference, while my heart hammered away in my chest.

She stared at me confused. Evaluating. Her elegant mouth popped open before she laughed a cute little giggle. "I over slept. I was forty five minutes late for work. I didn't mean to ditch you or anything. I swear. I slept through my alarm clock. Bella had to yank me out of bed." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Are you upset that I missed our coffee date?"

I shrugged in response, but I liked the mention of _our_ coffee date.

Alice placed a hand on my knee and the instant feel of contact made a tingle run up my leg. "I'm sorry I didn't text you then. Can I make it up to you? Tonight, perhaps?"

I smiled involuntarily then lost all my resolve to push her away. "I would like that." Alice nodded a slight bob of her head, but her body was almost bouncing out of her seat. "I know a place we can go for a drink." I suggested, but I needed to make something clear. I knew so far that Alice was a quite honest person and wouldn't sugarcoat anything to spare a few hurt feelings. "I thought that you not showing up this morning was your way of saying you changed your mind."

She laughed and the smile lit up her entire face. "Are you kidding me? After you kissed me like that, you expect me to change my mind? You are delusional. You shouldn't go around lip locking like that if you want to scare people away. It didn't, quite the opposite…" She licked her bottom lip rather salaciously. I just stared once more at her boldness. "I want to try more." She smirked and did a quite unsubtle once over down my body. I gasped and dropped my pen feeling the familiar needy warmth spread throughout my body. "Oh and that reminds me. You know how Bella doesn't know?" I nodded. "Correct that, she saw us kissing, so that cat's out of the bag. She confronted me yesterday morning and how could I not admit to a kiss that great." She beamed.

I laughed quietly. "So how do you feel about her knowing?" I wondered as we had talked before about Bella knowing. Coming out was usually a pretty big deal and not something everyone took lightly. Though, my family had.

"I like it actually. I never wanted to lie to her. I hate lying and now I don't have to. So when I go home tonight, I can just tell her I have another date with you."

I laughed. "You are bold and brave, Alice. I'll give you that."

"No, I just know what I want… sort of." She said and shrugged. Her eyes were twinkling with interest. It warmed my heart to hear her say those words. That all my worries this morning were for nothing. It was just a mishap that she didn't show up and it meant nothing. What did mean something was the fact that I had another date with her. "I gotta go. I think Aro expects me to go to lunch with them." I turned and glanced at Aro staring in our direction. "I'll see you later."

My heart was all over the place when I exited the meeting room not long after Alice had bounced after Aro. Her chipper laugh could be heard as the elevator door closed.

I settled in front of my computer and tried to gather my thoughts around work, but it was utterly impossible. To make matters worse, Leah entered. She closed the door and sat down in my chair with a spiteful smirk on her face.

"What, Leah?" I groaned.

"Oh, you got it bad." She teased. I glared at her, stunned all her anger from last week had dispersed. I had expected her to be all up in my face, barking orders and treating me like shit for a long time.

"I don't know what you are talking about and if I did, it is none of your business anyway." I finished grimly.

"Oh Jasper, get over yourself. I did." She said snidely. "With a nice, young and fresh piece of pussy Saturday... and Sunday."

"God, you are crude sometimes." I sighed and shook my head.

"I know, but you never seemed to mind. At least I have a clue, not like that little bird who's making your head spin. Do you even know what you are getting yourself into? Does she? Is she even gay, Jasper?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek. "No, she doesn't know for sure." I answered quietly, choosing to be honest.

"That's what I thought. Anyway, you gave up me for her so she must be special. If you ever need what she is trying to figure out if she can give you, you have my number. I would just love to bite your nipples until they are a delicious pink and sore. Perfect tits, I am telling you."

"Leah!" I spat and cringed. "That's enough."

She only smirked, her dark eyes twinkling with humor. "Whatever. Call me if you need to get off. I'm not sure the little bird knows how to handle pussy."

"Get out, Leah." I hissed, shaking my head. Yeah. Dom and sub, chains in the basement and control were definitely her style.

oooooOOOOooooo

I met Alice at her front steps. She was clearly already waiting for me. The wind was chilly for this time of year. I glanced down at her slim legs, her petite feet slipped into a pair of strappy sandals.

"Have you eaten?" I asked and smiled when I saw her.

"Yeah, Bella needed to be fed." She giggled. "So I am good for drinks."

"Okay." I answered while still taking in yet another ensemble of a pencil skirt, bright blue shirt, and a jacket tied at her waist. She surely knew how to make herself presentable.

"Where are we going?" She asked and linked her arm through mine.

"My kind of place." I answered evasively. I wasn't sure if she knew beforehand that we were going to a gay bar that she would concede or be comfortable at all. "I want to take you to a place I can kiss you if I feel like it." I said. Her arm tightened around mine. As we walked, my heels clicked against the almost empty sidewalk. The bar was my favorite. We could just sit like everyone else and enjoy a drink. If we happened to kiss a little, which I dearly hoped, no one would bat a lash at us. It wasn't like that in all kinds of bars. I didn't want to risk putting Alice on the spot when some narrow minded people decided to judge.

We entered the bar. It was warm and only about half full. It was Monday, but had it been the weekend the place would have been packed. We ordered drinks. Alice, true to form, went for a cosmopolitan.

"This is a gay bar?" She mouthed under her breath while glancing at the people here.

"Yes. Does that bother you?"

"No, really. It would be rather hypocritical if I was, considering I am on a date with a girl." She laughed quietly.

"Good point well made." I smiled and took a swig of my beer. "I told you - it is a place where I can kiss you if I want to." I teased, but I watched her reaction closely. It was that wonderful hitch of breath and watching her tongue slip across her mesmerizing teeth.

"I want to kiss you." She offered, before I even had a chance to make move. It was short and delicate, no tongue or almost obscene making out that happened on Saturday. She just softly pressed her lips to mine for a moment. "Can I ask you something? I know it is none of my business, but who is '_finished business'_?" Alice made quotation marks in the air. "Is it someone I know?" Alice said.

I nodded quietly and took another swig of my beer. "Leah." I said, not wanting to elaborate further, but wanting to be as honest as Alice always seemed to be with me.

"Oh." She gasped her eyes widening. "But it is finished?"

"Completely." I added simply.

The conversation after that was light and easy. She talked about her parents and how they always thought she was slightly crazy for her 'hunches' and 'feelings' about things. They thought she needed a better equilibrium in her life and had sent her to private school even though they could barely afford it. That was where she met Bella. She told me the sad story about how Bella had lost her husband. I felt so bad for her and understood her sad eyes now. Even the one time Bella had smiled, there was a sadness lingering at the back of it all. Alice was different from her friend with how lively and vivacious she was. I loved her energy and positive view of the world and nothing seemed to discourage her spirit.

"Let me ask you a question, Alice." I met her eyes seriously. "How would your parents feel if they knew you were on a date with me tonight?" Her eyes lowered and focused on picking at a slightly chipped fingernail. She didn't smile and her tongue ran furiously across her teeth. "They wouldn't approve, would they?"

She sighed. "I don't think so." She said quietly not looking up at me.

"Why don't you think so? Did they say something?" I asked and stroked her cheek. I brushed my finger under her jaw and pushed slightly to make her look up. She should keep her chin up not look defeated like this. That wasn't Alice.

I finally met her eyes and they were sad and dejected. "We never talked about that sort of thing at my house. My parents always thought it was below them to acknowledge such blasphemy. They didn't even approve of me studying fashion instead of becoming an accountant or whatever. They felt it was an industry filled with wackos and you couldn't make a proper and respectable career as a fashion designer." She sighed, running her fingers down the stem of her glass a few times. It turned eerily quiet, even the soft music stopped for a moment. Now, I understood our conversation from Saturday. Why she never spoke to anyone about her feelings and confusion as to her sexual orientation. Carrying around that kind of baggage and prejudges from home would make it hard to open up to anyone, especially those close to you that you were afraid of losing.

Alice suddenly pulled out of her dreary reverie and smiled at me. Her eyes brightened and lit up. "But I am going to prove them wrong. They will just have to admit they were mistaken. I will make a career and I will love who ever I chose to."

I smirked, loving her resolve. "Good for you, Alice."

We left the bar, just strolling along the sidewalk. Alice laced her fingers into mine. I loved the feeling of just holding her hand. Without knowingly deciding, we ended up in front of my apartment building and I wanted nothing more than to ask her to come upstairs. Any other girl, I probably would have, but not Alice. I was so attracted to her there was no saying how the night would end. I didn't want to push her too far, but I couldn't trust myself not to do that if we were alone in my apartment together.

I leaned in and kissed her. Alice immediately parted her lips, letting our tongues mingle. She was forward and demanding more than I could handle. Well, almost. Wrapping my arms around her waist, desire to touch her, feeling her skin against mine, wanting to see her body, her breasts, her legs, almost made me lose my resolve. Yearning took over. I couldn't help but rudely wonder if she was shaved, waxed or natural.

Her hands were at my hips running behind me when I felt them lower gently over my backside then up to the small of my back. Her soft touch felt indescribably nice. I sighed into her mouth.

"You're groping my ass in public, Alice." I mumbled thoughtlessly into her mouth. I groaned mentally, sounding completely like I was a complaining cave woman.

Alice didn't deter. "I know. I've been staring at it all night. It is a very nice ass and I wanted to know what it feels like." She countered, completely confident. I was in awe of her yet again, but there was no fucking way she was coming upstairs when I was in this much danger of ripping her clothes off the second that the door closed.

I smiled. "You want me to walk you home?" I asked.

"I'm fine, I'll catch a cab home. It's going to start raining soon." She said the same moment the first drop hit my hair. She let go of me and raised her hand as a yellow car pulled up. "Thanks for letting me grope your ass." She snickered and opened the door. "Coffee tomorrow!" She stated climbing in. "Anytime and coffee it is." I said the same time she slammed the door shut.

I pushed the door open to my apartment when an enormous shadow stepped out of the darkness. My heart raced violently and my vision blurred with fear. "Damn it, Emmett." I sneered when I quickly realized it was just my brother.

"Glad to see you're getting some. I love watching chicks make out, but it is just a little disturbing watching your sister having her ass fondled." He laughed.

"Stop watching me, Emmett. God!" I hissed. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"My roommate is fucking the brains out of some chick and I got tired of listening to it. I think he is on Viagra because they just never stop! I called you, but you didn't pick up. I figured I would just come see if you were home and to my luck you were." He grinned and followed me up the stairs.

"Emmett!" I sighed. "Please watch your mouth." I slipped the key into the lock and turned the complaining metal. "You want the spare room?"

"I though you would never ask. So who was pixie?"

"Pixie?" I asked and turned on the lights.

"You want it that way? Ass fondling girl." He laughed.

I groaned. "Manners." I reminded him simply.

"Do I get to meet her?"

"No." I cut him off and slipped out of my heels wiggling my toes.

Emmett kept pushing for details about Alice and I refused to answer. He put a movie on, made some popcorn and we watched it together. Emmett sprawled his long legs onto the coffee table and hovered over the popcorn. By midnight, we were both asleep on the couch and neither of us resurfaced until the next morning.

I met Alice every morning of the week. Every day, I was thrilled to see her and she hardly restrained showing affection. She wasn't afraid to hold my hand, kiss me briefly, stroke my cheek, or place her hand on my thigh. She was a force to be reckoned with. I loved the twenty minutes that we had in the morning and the emails she sent during the day. She told me the nicest, most endearing things, and was so open and honest. It was startling. It was like she could see into my soul and accepted every bit of me. I wasn't used to it as I was no one special. I was just Jasper as plain as they come, but when Alice looked at me I felt special.

We didn't go out during the week, as she didn't want to leave Bella alone too much or other times I had to finish projects at work. I got to see her in the mornings and I was happy about that.

oooooOOOOooooo

**Hmm, I think this is the last of the innocent chapters. So much more to come. Please review and/or add me to your alerts.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**I am a little nervous posting this as this will be the first chapter marked with an M, or in some people's eyes NC-17 for sexual contents. Alice is goading Jasper, playing her right into the palm of her hand. Oh, Alice.**

**A huge thanks to those of you who left comments and added me to your alerts. I had a lot of fun writing this, so I appreciate you taking you time to read it. Again I will reply within my lousy ability to all comments.**

**To Thaiger Lillie, you are my favorite new BFF and I know this is going to rattle your delicate cage. LMAO, girl. I thank you humbly on your support for my story **_**THE FENCE.**_

**Femmeslash coming right up!**

oooooOOOOooooo

**The Second Weekend**

It was Friday and Alice had decided to invite herself over and bring dinner. I was slightly apprehensive being alone with her at my place, as I was growing needy. Watching her every day in a new feminine dress, showing a little cleavage or her slim legs was getting the better of me. I had tried to manage my hormones getting myself off, but it didn't seem to be enough. Touching myself left me wishing Alice was with me, or that it was her skin flushed, her moaning, her body that was next to me, instead of the empty sheets. I started wondering what she sounded like when she climaxed, what she smelled like when she was aroused and wet from making love. It was driving me insane and I had never been so attracted to anyone in my entire life.

I fished the white wine out of the fridge and took two glasses from the shelf. I filled them midway and took a sip. It was a cool and crisp. The doorbell chimed and my heart did a double beat. I took another sip of wine and brought the untouched glass to the door.

"Hello." She chimed and held up a bag. "Food's here."

"I like the delivery girl better." I mused and smiled. Alice giggled bubbly as ever and stepped forward. She gently placed her lips against mine for a brief second, before making a beeline for the kitchen like she had been here a million times. She dropped the food and her coat on the kitchen counter. I handed her the wine and watched as her lips rimmed the glass and she took a swig. "Mmm, delicious."

"I know." I smirked and couldn't help letting my eyes rake down her body. She was feminine as ever in an outfit that did everything right for her. "I like your dress." I smirked. I really needed to hold back on her. I was so scared that I was being pushy, especially when thinking how new and strange this kind of relationship had to be for her. With Alice, I really had to control over my inappropriate thoughts as everything about her turned my body into a roaring fire of need. If this was just another girl knowing her sexuality, knowing she was only into girls we would probably have ended up in bed already, but not with Alice. That didn't mean I didn't want to though. I was in hell waiting, hoping and calculating how to push forward carefully. I was desperate for more than just a kiss, but terrified at the same time.

"You look nice too." She stepped to me, her eyes level to mine as I wasn't wearing heels. We were basically the same height. She gazed up at me with those curious eyes as her body went flush against mine. Her breasts pressed into me and she skimmed her small talented hands down my sides. I sighed, enjoying her light and delicate touch. I leaned in and kissed her trying to be gentle. Alice wasn't having restrained and respectful. Her one hand went to my neck holding me to her and she parted my lips demandingly, seeking into my mouth and her other hand slipped to my ass. This inexperienced girl, I suspected, was going to be the death of me. She was so warm and passionate, so curious and exploring. She welcomed everything between us without limitation. I was afraid of scaring her, but in truth, perhaps she was scaring me a bit. I never had such strong feelings for a woman before.

I kissed her back slipping my hands up her waist just to the point before her breasts. I wanted nothing more than graze hand across the swell of flesh, just to get a slight feeling of her breasts. Alice pushed back a bit. Once again, her inquisitiveness was staggering in her eyes. She smiled slightly, then said quietly and full of understanding. "You can touch if you want." My breath hitched and my blood rushed furiously in my veins. She saw right through me. I slipped my hand over the fine fabric of her dress, my fingertips grazing the soft skin of her collarbone when I let my hand drop further south. Alice just watched me inquisitively when I touched her gently. She sighed and closed her eyes then kissed me again. Her breast was just slightly less than a handful, round and firm, not that I really cared about size. I just wanted something to kiss and suckle.

The kitchen was deafeningly quiet. I could hear the fibers of our clothes rubbing against each other. "Are you hungry?" I asked gently. The food had to be getting cold, while we were standing here and exploring each other in the middle of the kitchen.

She opened her eyes - big, blue, deep and wanting. "Yes." She answered unashamed. Her response was astounding in its honesty and eagerness.

"Food, Alice." I mouthed and smiled, though, I was flustered and frustrated. Never in my life had anyone pushed my buttons like her.

"I know." She chirped confidently, glancing at me mischievously. She hoisted herself to the kitchen counter and took another sip of wine, humming as she swallowed.

"So what did you get?" I asked and untied the knot on the bag. The inside of the plastic was wet, covered with moisture from the steaming food.

"Honey chicken and a sweet and sour salad." She shrugged.

"Really?" I blurted. "That's my favorite." I was beaming, not having had this meal for so long as it wasn't exactly light on calories. It was one of the things that I savored for special occasions.

Alice giggled and I stared. She tapped her finger against her temple. "I had a feeling."

"Did you now?" I mused entertained and inhaled the rich and sweet scent of honey and curry. My stomach snarled loudly.

"I guess you're hungry too." Alice said, layered so thickly with innuendoes that it was impossible to miss her intention. Warmth spread within my body when she put her lips to the glass and I watched the cool fluid wash into her mouth. I swallowed convulsively.

"I am." I answered quietly and completely hypnotized. "Alice…" I sighed, utterly at a loss how to handle her and her very unsubtle advances. I deliberated for a moment, staring at her beautiful face. "I am _extremely_ attracted to you." I murmured and drew my finger across her bottom lip. "Are you comfortable knowing that? I mean…are you comfortable being here alone with me?"

She licked her lips, gazing softly at me. "I want to be alone with you." She answered quietly like she was being scolded by her math teacher, but her eyes were so inquisitive. Though, with the lack of words, I suddenly understood what was really going on. This was premeditated. This was exactly what she wanted and quite frankly, so did I. We stared at each other for a long moment while the sexual tension between us settled. I knew what was she was saying and I understood what she wanted to have happen between us. She wanted to explore what it meant to be with me. We didn't have to talk about it. We both knew it without having to say anything else.

"Let's just have some dinner now, okay." I finished. She beamed a smile suddenly and hopped off the counter. I fished some plates from the cupboard and arranged the food.

I slipped the DVD in the recorder and settled in the corner of the couch. Alice curled her legs up and snuggled to my side like this was a routine. It didn't take long for Alice to break down my resolve and get what she wanted. What she came here for.

Her mouth was so warm and wet, yet almost feverish against mine. Not completely surprising, but still, Alice wasn't exactly shy or withdrawn. Her mouth on mine so passionately that it made me forget reason and all sanity went out the window.

The movie had barely started when Alice had played her hand. I was overwhelmed by her, but not an ounce inside of me wanted to stop her. The warmth of her body against mine was pulsating and just making my need grow. I pushed her back on the couch and leaned over her. Her hands climbed up under my shirt, smoothing over the scars on my back. Our legs tangled and I couldn't help but notice the skirt of her dress was riding up her thighs. I moved my hand down and drew my hand up her thigh. She squirmed against me, pushing her hips against me. Her hands moved up my back, her fingers locked into my hair and she pulled her mouth from mine. Her breathing was heavy and warm against my neck as she kissed me blow my ear. I moved my hand further up under her dress over the swell of her ass. It was firm, but her skin was so soft, only interrupted up the straps from a… garter belt. I had to peak down. Sure as hell, she was wearing one. As far as I could see, it was utterly feminine and utterly Alice. Only she could pull this off. Trying to slow my pace, I dragged my hand up her waist. Once more, I lost the battle of being appropriate when I reached the curve of her chest. I succumbed to my wants cradling her breast. She moaned and squirmed again.

How the hell was I supposed to stop or slow down when she suddenly pulled her hands down as started undoing the buttons of her dress herself? I stifled my groan at the sight of the delicate bra, pushing her breasts up. I pulled the fabric of her dress aside revealing the top of her chest. I kissed my way down her neck and collarbone, as her fingers locked into my hair again. Her body was so inviting, so free of restraints, so wanting. I kneaded her breast feeling her nipple pucker into my hand. The scent of her skin mixed in with the moisture from my mouth made her smell like pure sex - completely undiluted, passionate sex. There was no way in hell I could to stop now even if I wanted to, which I really didn't. I gently pushed the lacy material of her bra out of the way, revealing the rosy-pebbled bud. When I closed my lips around her nipple, she let out a guttural groan, while pushing her chest upwards and greeting my mouth. I didn't need to push Alice anywhere. She was going there all by herself.

"That feels so nice, Jasper." She murmured. Hearing her express her feelings and her pleasured sighs was just too good to be true. I drew my hand back down and under her skirt, while gently hiking it up. I traced my fingers up the inside of her thigh itching to feel the warmth between her legs. I didn't think about it. I just reacted. I brushed my fingers across her pussy, feeling how damp and downright soaked her panties were. The material was so flimsy that I could even feel the swelling of her clit. I gently rubbed against it and Alice moaned louder and her breath quickened. Her arms gripped harder around me as I increased the pressure. It didn't take long until the irritation of the fabric got the better of me and I slipped my hand inside her panties. I had my initial curiosity met when I felt a gentle splay of hairs covering her sex. She was truly drenched, but the softness of her sex was stunning and overwhelming. I had always relished the soft and warm flesh of a female, but touching Alice made everyone I had ever been with fade in comparison. I slipped my fingers deeper in between her lips, not thinking about it when I dipped a finger inside of her. She bucked her hips toward my hand and her breath trembled. It wasn't only her breathing that was shaky, her hands were unsteady as well. I opened my eyes and glanced at her face. Her lips were swollen and plump, but her face was anxious and curious at the same time.

It hit me like a freight train and I froze. I had no clue how much or more importantly how little experience she had. I knew it wouldn't be much, but what if it was none at all?

"Alice." I called softly. "Open your eyes for me. Look at me please."

Slowly her eyes opened, her pupils were dilated and her look was almost lazy and sated. "What is it, Jasper?" She asked, her voice was breathy and light. I retrieved my fingers from her insides and she whimpered at the loss, slightly upset.

"I need to know something." I said carefully. I leaned down and kissed her lightly while I adjusted one side of her bra again. Her free nipple was so tempting to watch, basically begging to be suckled. I needed a much clearer mind right now, to not just go primal on her, which I was already doing.

"What?" She begged, her eyes brimming with worry.

"I think that you are absolutely amazing, but have you done this before?" There was no way that I was going to plow down that road with her now - not if she said no. She was too important to be that careless and casual with.

"Did I do something wrong?" Her eyes shifted back and forth and her lip trembled even worse. I leaned down, kissing her.

"No, Alice." I mumbled against her lips. I pulled back some and gazed down at her, stroking her cheek. "We both know you are not sure about your particular preferences, but be honest with me. Have you had sex with a woman before?" I waited patiently and finally she shook her head. "Have you had any kind of relationship, physical or otherwise?"

"Some. I mean I fooled around in high school with one girl, and a few in college, but I never went all the way with a girl before. Why?"

"I think we need to slow down just a bit, okay?"

"No, why?" She almost whined and squirmed against me. "It feels so good, I'm not ready to stop yet."

I laughed gently. "I know, Alice, but I am not ready to go much further right now, knowing what I know. I don't want to mess this up between us because I scare you or make you do something you'll regret."

"Jasper, don't be ridiculous. You're not making me do anything I don't want to." She smirked. "Trust me."

"I do trust you. It's me I don't trust." I added seriously, though, she was making a joke of it. I was terrified that I would lose her if she changed her mind, because she already had her claws in me so deep there was no going back.

Alice stared at me for a moment, kissed me gently. "How about we just stay here and try to watch the rest of the movie then?"

"Sounds good to me." We nestled on the couch. Alice didn't bother to button up her dress or put much effort into pulling down her skirt down again. Watching the movie, I couldn't help, but be distracted by all the accessible skin every now and then. Once in a while, I skimmed my hand down her thigh or traced a finger across the swell of her breast and every time her breath hitched and she sighed. Through the movie, she kept moving closer as we lay tangled on the couch. The physical attraction was so thick in the air it was almost unbearable. I wanted nothing more than to bury my mouth in between her thighs.

"Jasper." She sighed when the end credits rolled across the screen.

"Mmm." I hummed in response, focusing drawing circles on her thigh with my pointer finger.

"If you don't finish the job soon, I am just going to go home and get myself off. Now which would you prefer? You do it or I do it?" She asked, literally daring me. My mouth popped open as she gazed up at me through her lashes. Her eyes were twinkling mischievously.

I cleared my throat from the initial shock and my heart hammered in my chest. "I wouldn't mind watching you get off, but I am feeling a little selfish." I murmured and leaned towards her. I was greeted with a hungry passionate kiss as she crawled further down on the couch. Her skirt was riding indecently far up her body. I pulled back and glanced down at the garter belt. I reached out and unclasped the straps, then linking my fingers into her skimpy panties. I slowly dragged them down her slim legs and dropped them on the floor. Just as earlier, she was drenched, wanting and ready. I leaned down beside her, raking my hand up her thigh and sighing when coming into contact with her warm flesh. Instantly her juices covered my fingers.

"Just for the record, but don't you dare stop." She warned sternly. "You would be the first ever, besides myself, to make me cum."

Instead of wanting to back down, I felt a pang of excitement at the challenge. She was flirtatious, straightforward and bold and she wasn't leaving here before she was one orgasm richer! "Yeah?" I had a feeling it wasn't really going to be much of a fight after all.

"Yeah." She agreed and spread her legs a little wider, giving me all the space I needed. Her flesh was still swollen and wet with need, when I started circling her clit. Her moans grew deeper, like they were trapped in her chest. She arched her hips up to greet my hand hungrily. I slipped two fingers into her warmth, loving the feeling of her warm sex hugged around my fingers. She moaned softly, panting and whispering my name when I continued to rub her. She started trembling, her chest flushed warmly and I knew she was nearing her climax. I leaned down and bit her nipple gently through her bra. When I traced my thumb across what I expected was her excruciatingly sensitive clit, I slowly hooked my fingers inside of her. Like on cue, she softly cried out the most exotic sound, while her sex pulsated around my fingers. It was erotic as hell feeling her insides as she tumbled over the edge, murmuring that she was coming. I just watched in awe as all my speculations to how she sounded and smelled unfolded before me. I loved watching her breath skate from her parted lips as her body convulsed, then slowly started to relax.

"God, you are gorgeous." I murmured, caught in my reverie and amazement. "Now beautiful Alice, was that good enough or do you still need to go home and finish the job, as you said." I asked playfully and placed a small kiss at the corner of her mouth. She smiled and giggled quietly.

"I don't need to finish anything. You pretty much finished me for the entire year." She whispered sluggishly, completely relaxed beside me. I smirked satisfied. She hugged her arms around me and let her soft lips find mine in a charitable kiss. "No one ever made me feel like that, Jasper." I just smiled, but internally I was celebrating like a maniac.

She sat up lazily after a moment, her hair was chaos around her head and her chest entirely flushed scarlet, but she had never looked that dazzling. She started closing up the buttons over her chest. She leaned over and picked up her panties and groaned.

"What?" I asked.

"They are soaked."

"I know." I smiled knowingly.

"This is so your fault. Well, guess I am going home bottomless."

I stared at her, resentment rising through my body. "No you're not. My girl is not walking through New York, panty-less, on a dark night wearing a sexy dress. That I won't allow." I said seriously.

Alice's eyes gleamed at me. I frowned not understanding. "_Your girl_?" She exclaimed.

I softened completely and kissed her hair. "Yes, my girl. I'll lend you some of mine that I haven't worn yet." I said.

Alice sighed. "I almost wished you had." She muttered. My eyes widened with shock. She rolled her eyes flirtatiously. "Washed preferably." She implored and I laughed.

I dragged the clean, recently purchased panties across her bare legs and dropped them on her lap. "I'll walk you down. Take a cab home, please."

"Yes, ma'am." She mocked and slipped my panties up under her dress as I stared hypnotized. There was something erotic about knowing what she wearing under her dress and whom they belonged to.

The street was quiet when we kissed goodnight. "You are so gentle, Jasper." She murmured and let her teeth graze my bottom lip. "Where ever did you learn?" She mused playfully when she released my lip.

I smirked at her, enjoying her free spirit. "I have the same equipment as you and I know how to handle pussy." I locked my arms around her frail shoulders. "But I can only hope to know how to handle someone as curious as you."

She beamed at me, hooking her fingers into the belt loops of my jeans. "Oh, you do know how to handle me." The tip of her tongue snaked softly at my jaw. "But I might forget later and you will have to show me again." She lured, utterly blatant.

"Alice." I muttered astounded. Bright lights from a cab illuminated us as I placed a last gentle kiss on her mouth. "Go home, Alice. I'll see you Monday."

oooooOOOOooooo

**So yeah, most of you I will probably never hear from again after that little couch encounter. Though, if you decide to stick with the story, this isn't the last of Alice and Jasper.**

**Please review and/or add me to your alerts.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**To Thaigher Lillie, thank you for the addition to the summary.**

**A/N:**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**This is week three and it is definitely not Jaspers week. So enjoy watching her squirm a bit.**

**A major thank you to those of you who left comments and added me to your alerts. I hope to see you again for this chapter. **

oooooOOOOooooo

**Week Three**

Another week began with having coffee in the morning while chatting with Alice. It was the highlight of my day, knowing I would start it off by seeing her.

She was still as confident and imminent when Tuesday morning she asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with her. I accepted as there was nothing I'd rather do than spend an evening with her.

The movie had been a complete flop, but what mattered was the fact that I was with her. Alice had persuaded me to take her back to my place afterwards. Though, I knew which obstacles that posed. I hadn't been able to keep my hands off her, not by a long shot. I had touched her like the last time, but it had been the battle of my life not to strip her naked and go down on her. I longed for more than a touch. I was sure going to my place and what did happen between us was exactly what Alice had counted on. She had tried to free me of my shirt, but I had dodged as best I could in order to take it slow.

To say I was delighted to see another ensemble of delicate lingerie on her would be an understatement. Never in my life had I seen anyone wear such feminine and sexy lace before, but somehow it just suited her. So when she liked to wear it, I figured I was allowed to enjoy the sight.

She hadn't stayed over, mainly because the topic had never come up. Alice always seemed adamant about going home and that was one point where she didn't pressure me. It didn't happen because no one had mentioned it.

In public, she was open and as flirtatiously as ever. I had never been one to flaunt my current relationship, but I was so proud to be next to Alice and so proud this elfin girl was so brave and bubbly and downright sexy. I couldn't help notice men looking at her with wanting, lustful eyes, almost disrobing her right in front of me. Alice didn't seem to notice them though, her eyes were always on me. It left me feeling a little smug. No correct that, a whole new level of superiority had risen within me. I was feeling snide.

Wednesday before lunch, a package arrived on my desk at work. Opening it, I was floored by the contents. It was the pair of panties that I had lent her the previous week. With it, was attached a tiny note done in an elegant script.

_I seem to remember these belong to you._

_I believe my mind is going dim. I may need you to educate_

_me once more on how you handle curious girls like me._

_Your Girl,_

_Alice_

I stared at the small piece of paper for about an hour before I stuffed the panties in my bag along with the note. I took an early lunch as my mind was stuck around Alice and her erotic and aroused sounds from last night when she climaxed. I knew that I would not be able to get anything productive done. I couldn't help but admire the audacity that it took to send these to my office.

Passing an old dusty bookstore while eating my sandwich, I almost choked on the food. On display was a 25th anniversary edition of '1000 Dessous: A History of Lingerie'. If this wasn't perfect, I didn't know what was. I ventured inside the moldy smelling shop and found a copy like the one from the window display. At the counter, a severely obese man with his forehead covered in sweat was about to punch in my purchase. I left the cash on the counter just as a brown haired girl emerged from a backroom.

"I can get this, Eric." She said softly. I just stared mortified at the attendant and chewed furiously at the inside of my cheek. Her deep brown eyes locked on mine and she frowned in wonder. "Jasper, right?" Bella said and smiled. I would know her anywhere, even though I had only met her once. She was Alice's pregnant roommate.

"Uh… yeah. Nice to see you again, Bella." This was a whole new league of awkward. I wasn't normally embarrassed about this sort of thing, but I knew from Alice that they were very close friends. Alice had told me Bella knew about us, but facing her for the first time since Aro's party while buying a book about lingerie wasn't exactly how I would have played this scenario. This gift was just too private and intimate to have it flaunted like this. I only meant it as a sexy comeback to Alice's audacity in sending my panties to my office, I never in a million years intended for Bella to be involved as well.

The amount rolled up on the cash register and Bella took the money from the counter then stared down at the book. The flesh inside of my cheek was getting thin as I chewed furiously. I could almost taste the blood when I kept digging my teeth into it. "Alice." I shrugged bleakly like I needed to explain my acquisition.

"I figured." She said and slipped the book into the bag, but glanced at me with knowing eyes. "She'll love it." Bella said kindly.

"I didn't know you worked here. Alice told me you worked at a bookstore, just not that it was this one." I said mainly to defuse the tension that was squashing my chest.

Bella shrugged. "Since College. The place grows on you." She offered.

I glanced around the old fashioned establishment, shelf upon shelf stocked with thousands of publications, but the place could really use an update. It reminded me of an establishment that belonged to the previous millennium.

"Thanks." I murmured. Bella smiled as I left the shop. Of all the places she could work, why did I have to walk into the exact same one and buy a private gift for my new flirtatious girlfriend? Having her roommate witness it in action was not planned and it left what Alice and I had wide open. Was Alice ready for that? Was I?

Back at the office, I decided to push the incident back when I slipped the book into a courier bag and wrote a note to go along with the parcel.

_I thought this might inspire you._

_It seems I don't need to educate you. _

_It is a pleasure getting to know you…_

_Jasper_

I pondered for a moment if I should add something else, but decided against it, because I didn't want to risk being obscene. I was sure Alice would read between the lines since I left the last sentence open. I arranged for a bike messenger to deliver it this afternoon.

After work, I decided to pay Emmett a visit. He had been hassling me about coming see him practice. He was a college football player and I had yet to see him play. I sat down on the practically empty benches at the stadium and watched a bunch of guys massacre each other trying to get to the ball. I wasn't a sports fan and football was a little too violent for my taste, but I was sure Emmett would appreciate that I stopped by.

"Hey, big sis." He hollered when practice was over. I stepped down from the bleachers when a myriad of mud soaked and sweaty guys moved towards the locker rooms. "What the hell brought you out here?"

"Do I need a reason to see my brother?" I cocked a brow at him and smiled.

"I'm awesome. I know." Emmett laughed and bear-hugged me. Sweat was pouring down his face when he pressed his wet skin to mine.

"Ugh… you're gross, Emmett." I complained and wiggled out of his iron grip. I wiped the perspiration off my face with my sleeve and groaned. He laughed and laced his arm over my shoulder.

"So do I get your attention the entire night?" He asked and I nodded. "Anything you want, sis." He said as he led me towards the locker room. "I just need to take a shower."

"You better. Your ass stinks." I mock slapped his chest.

"Fifteen minutes, then I'm all yours." Emmett hugged me again, covering me in his sweat once more and on purpose this time. I sat down on the chairs lining the walls and waited for him. Huge guys dressed in football uniforms moved to the room and the male banter from inside was loud and hard to miss. I tried to ignore it, but Emmett's loud laugh kept booming above the others.

"Hey, who was that you were with, Em?" Some guy joked. "That was one hot piece of ass."

"Shut the fuck up!" Emmett bawled back, not missing a beat. I just groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on. Don't be such a sore loser. Is she dumping your ass?" The teasing continued.

"She's my big sister, you moron."

"Really, how the hell can an ugly fucker like you be related to someone as hot as that?"

"Beats me." Emmett answered and laughed.

"Mind if I ask her out?" The guy continued. I chuckled.

"Go ahead, but do you mind if I watch when she turns your dumb ass down?"

"She won't." The guy answered snide. "No one can say no to this. I'm a good looking guy."

"I'm sure you think so, but she is so far out of your league, man." Emmett snickered.

"You wanna bet, Em?" The boy countered. "Put your money where your nasty mouth is." He dared. I just sat back and waited for Emmett to take the bet, but he didn't.

"I would just love to rob you of your measly income, but somehow that just seems unfair." Emmett paused for a sec while chuckling. "She's a pussy eater, Tate." I cringed at my brother's unpolished manners. Only Emmett could be so straightforward, not that I minded his honesty, but I just wished he would have a little more tact about it. I shook my head. Why did he have to have this conversation with his teammates now that I could hear? First, the mortifying experience with Bella where I bought the book yesterday and now this. This just wasn't my week.

"What?" The other guy spat. "Seriously?" I rolled my eyes at whoever Tate was and his incredulous tone.

"What you didn't hear me?" Emmett laughed. "Do you need me to elaborate? She likes tits and to slobber all over wet pussy, just like you do. Is it clear enough for you now?"

I froze. That was the last straw and I had heard enough. I pushed the door to the locker room open widely, not caring if everyone was decent or not. I had no wish to spy on their junk, but my brother just crossed the line and I was getting pissed off. I loved that he supported me, but I hated he was so crude about it.

Some of the men covered up, others just smirked at me when they saw me standing at the door. I located my brother and narrowed my eyes at him. "Are you done, Emmett?" I asked sharply and double edged.

He stared at me. "You heard all that, didn't you?" He frowned apprehensively.

"Every single word of it. Now, I would like to get out of here, if you don't mind." I said pointedly, having heard all the pussy comments that I could stomach.

He pulled on his hoodie and flung his bag over his shoulder. "You're mad at me?" He asked as we walked down the hall. I didn't answer. He put his arm around my shoulder and I could smell his fresh and familiar body wash compared to the stench from his work out. "You know I got your back, right?" He smiled his dimpled charming grin at me. This was Emmett. He weaseled his way through life with his charismatic grin and panty-dropping dimpled smile.

"I know." I murmured, feeling the anger leave my body. There was no way anyone could be mad at Emmett when he smiled like that and the sucker knew it. He used it to get out of trouble constantly. "Just watch your mouth, okay?"

He didn't answer. I knew he had no intention of improving his boorish conduct, but we had had this argument since the dawn of day and we were still at an impasse. Emmett was incorrigible.

Hanging out with Emmett was always a cheerful experience as he was a natural elated person. No one could be around him and feel sour or gloomy. We spent the night at gaming arcade. It was full of teenagers and played and goofed around, eating junk food, laughing our asses off, for lack of a better word. It felt so good to be carefree with him. Nothing got Emmett down.

"So how is the ass fondling girl?" He asked while chucking a huge amount of ice cream into his mouth. We had stopped at Baskin and Robbins on our way to my place, needing another sugar rush to end the evening.

"Don't call her that." I admonished.

"I have nothing else to call her. So what do you suggest, because I don't even know her name?" He smirked, fishing for details. He always did that, but I normally never told him anything.

"I suggest Alice. Her name is Alice." I said quietly, taking a small bite of my strawberry and chocolate scoops.

"Ugh. I get to know a name this time? But I think I will stick to Pixie." He paused, staring down at me mischievously. "How's the sex?"

"Get your damn mind out of the gutter. You know Emmett, there is a reason I never tell you anything." I countered sharply.

"So if I asked nicely, I would actually get an answer?"

"You could try." I shrugged. I put had another spoonful of ice in my mouth, feeling a slight freezing headache rise up my temples.

"So what does Alice do for a living?" He asked seriously, trying with a strained face to contain his grin. I chuckled, as this just wasn't Emmett.

"She's a fashion designer." I answered feeling the entire situation was turning a little fake and laughable.

"Do you like her?" He asked more subtly. I glanced up at his face to see that he actually wasn't making a joke out of the whole thing.

"Actually, I like her a lot. I really, really like her." I said carefully. I never had this kind of conversation with Emmett before. It was slightly awkward, but if I couldn't talk to my idiot-like and obnoxious brother, then whom could I talk to? He was my family and I suddenly had the urge to share what was going through my mind.

Emmett gaped at me. "You mean, like bring her home to mom and dad? That kinda like her, like her?"

I smiled at the idea of bringing Alice home. "Someday… I hope." I admitted.

Emmett laughed, but it wasn't a mocking grin. "If they get to meet her before I do, I am going to be royally pissed. You remember that." He warned, but his eyes were gleaming with amusement.

He spent the night in my spare bedroom after watching a horror movie that I observed absolutely nothing of because it scared the shit out of me.

oooooOOOOOooooo

I knocked the door slightly apprehensive. This was the first time that I was at Alice's place. Sure, I was just picking her up for dinner on a Saturday night, but being in her personal space was a touchstone for me. She said it was okay to just come to the door.

"Hi, Jasper." Bella answered pleasantly when she opened. "How are you?"

"Good." I smiled, a little anxious as I hadn't expected to see Bella home. The awkward incident at the bookstore hadn't slipped my mind the slightest.

I glanced down at her body. She was quite the opposite of Alice. There wasn't much girly about her. None of the elegant and fancy fabrics, classic make up, or the red nail polish seemed to interest her. Bella was strictly a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, whereas Alice was not. I stared at her ragged old sweats and smiled. She was all about comfort that was for sure.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, uncertain if I should open the subject of her best friend dating a girl or if I should just leave it alone. I chose the latter.

"Alice will be ready soon. Come on in." Bella offered friendly, letting me pass.

"Thanks." I glanced at her stomach and the baby bump that was surely growing. "You seem to be thriving." I smiled.

Bella groaned. "Don't I know it? I already feel like a balloon and I still have a long way to go."

"You look lovely." I said and instantly regretted the words. There was a very fine line to walk. I didn't even have the faintest clue if Bella was one to judge or jump to conclusions when a polite comment was offered.

"I don't know about that, but thanks." She smiled. "Alice is far from done." She shrugged apologetically.

"Thanks." I followed her through the rather spacious apartment, when Bella stopped in front of a closed door.

"This is Alice's room, she's still in the shower, though." Bella hesitated. "Can I get you something?"

"No, thanks." I smiled. I stepped into the room appointed as Alice's. I was curious to what it would hold, what it would look like. I smiled realizing it was just as I imagined - feminine and girly. I glanced at the bookshelf that was the most orderly part of the room. All the books were alphabetized and placed neatly on the shelves. They were all on some kind of fashion subject - biographies by designers, handbooks on fashion, sketching and pattern design. Alice lived and breathed fashion. I was thrilled to discover my present would probably fit right in, though she hadn't mentioned it.

The door closed and Alice gasped. "I'm late, aren't I?"

"Don't worry about it." I smiled, just feeling calm wash over me when I saw her. I had learned over the past week, Alice always had a tendency to run a bit late. One thing I personally hated, but with her, I had already come to expect it. Her hair was done in soft curls framing her face, make-up subtle and perfectly applied and a new color of nail polish painted on today. I glanced down her body that was only covered by her hugging a towel around her small frame. Her toenails also carried a nice shade of bright red nail polish. Yep, my girl definitely took care of herself and the details. I wasn't masculine or anything, but I just didn't bother with dresses or skirts in general. I definitely didn't have the patience or skill for applying nail polish, but I loved that she did.

Alice stepped over and gave me a soft and brief kiss. "I'll get ready now." She mused softly and walked to her dresser. I was about to excuse myself from her room, as I didn't want to cramp her space. We hadn't exactly gotten to the point of being naked yet. I didn't want to force that on her as I expected she didn't wear much under that purple towel.

Once again Alice proved me wrong when she without much ado dropped the towel and opened a drawer like I wasn't even here. I just gaped at her and stared at her gorgeous naked body. She was standing profile to me, but I took in every gentle feminine curve of her hungrily. I relished the size of her breasts, enjoyed the curve of her ass as she just raked through a lot of lace. Her slim legs were glistering, clearly freshly shaved. My mouth literally started to water, as I was growing increasingly hungry from the sight of her.

"I suspect you're staring, Jasper." Alice said nonchalantly, when she roamed through the drawer picking out a few items. She battled to close it again due to the overflowing lingerie threatening to spill.

"I suspect you know you are naked." I muttered stunned. I wanted to rake my hands over every inch of that appealing girl in front of me, but my feet were glued to the floor. The Neanderthal part of me wanted to push her to the bed, spread her legs and bury my face in her soft flesh. So if I moved, that primitive part of me would win and I would scare the crap of my yet inexperienced girl.

"Does it bother you?" She glanced at me and frowned looking adorably insecure. I let my eyes sweep down her body, not hiding what was racing through my mind. Alice shouldn't have the slightest bit of doubt that I enjoyed the view tremendously. "I guess not." She smirked and slipped on her tiny panties. I watched her close her bra and scoop her breasts up. I almost drooled. She clasped another garter belt around her waist, pulled up black stockings and locked them into the loose hanging strings.

"Er… do you always wear underwear like that?" I dared asking. I was finally able to move my feet from the floor and stepped up behind her. I kissed her shoulder and Alice's sighed contently. A reaction I savored.

"I do." She answered simply. I smiled when my eyes landed on the familiar book sitting on top of her dresser. It was dog-eared multiple times and other pages were marked with post-its.

"Interesting reading?" I murmured against her skin.

"Very. It was incredibly thoughtful of you." She giggled.

"Do you know how sexy this is?" I asked when I skated my fingers down around the back of her bra and my belly started to dance excitedly. I slipped one strap off her shoulder because couldn't help but wanting a little feel of her. Running my fingers down over her breast pulling the cup of her bra down, Alice moaned and leaned back towards me.

"I do know, Jasper. I like feeling sexy that's why I wear it." She practically mewled when I kneaded the naked swelling in my hand. With every passing day, the sexual tension between us grew. It was tangible and overpowering and killing my resolve to go slow and to be gentle with her.

I moved the strap to her shoulder again and she groaned defeated. "You should get dressed." I murmured and pushed back the need that I was feeling in my crotch.

Facing me, she gazed with longing wondering eyes. "Why, Jasper? We could just stay here." She whispered. Her hands moved around my waist, fingers drawing under my shirt. It tingled delightfully when she stroked my skin. I knew exactly what she was asking. Like I said, she was a force to be reckoned with, a goddamn hurricane wreaking havoc in my life.

"Not yet, Alice." I answered softly and kissed her chastely. Alice sighed irritated and fished a dress out of her closet. She slipped it up her body and turned her back to me. I pulled up the zipper and the fabric hugged tightly to her waist and was rather short. There was only one word for her - sexy.

oooooOOOOooooo

**So this chapter was a little more innocent, but I can't promise you the next will be. To give you a small teaser; Jasper will lose some of her iron resolve. I hope you will stick with my story and I will see you next Friday.**

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**Thank you for reading.**

**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**Thank you to those how reviewed and added me to your alerts on the last chapter.**

**Someone is going to lose her self-control and give in to her flirtatious girlfriend. So for you faint hearted scared of a little explicit femme slash, close your delicate eyes. Especially with this chapter I owe a lot to my Beta, because the 'juicy' parts of this chapter would be missing if it wasn't for her. DAZZLED EYES22 - I aim to please.**

**Enjoy.**

**Please review and/or add me to your alerts.**

**oooooOOOOOooooo**

**The Third Weekend – Part I**

"I could use a drink." Alice said after dinner. "We could go to that bar you like." She offered and smirked flirtatiously at me. She twined her fingers into mine confidently.

"Are you sure you're ready for that? There are going to be a lot of people there tonight. There might even be some of my old friends." I answered tentatively, feeling unsure about the whole thing. I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.

Alice beamed. "I would love to meet your friends."

I stopped and faced her. I released her hand and pushed my fingers into her hair, gazing into her lovely sparkling eyes. "They are all gay, Alice. I don't want you push you into the label that is my life. It doesn't have to be yours, just because it is mine."

"But Jasper, I want to be. Don't you get that? Everything is so exciting with you. The way you make me feel. I want you to show me your world. All of it! I finally found the person with whom I feel I belong and it's thrilling. Jasper, you don't have to hold back for me. Don't be so afraid to scare me away, when everything you show me makes me want to experience it all the more. " Her eyes burned with passion and determination. How could I say no to that?

The bar was crowded and just like I expected a few friends were there. Maria and Nettie, two of my closest friends, were sitting at the bar, laughing and chatting with a few people that I didn't know. I introduced Alice and immediately they made a meal of getting to know her. They were curious about who she was, where I had dug her up, and what exactly our relationship was. I normally kept whomever I was seeing to myself and only talked about them. I tried to protect Alice the best I could from their nosy questions, but I realized as the beers and cosmos went down that I couldn't protect her from my world. Perhaps, it was even wrong of me to try. Alice was testing who she was and where she belonged, so who was I to stand in the way of that?

She was open and funny chatting to Nettie and Maria. I finally managed to stand back a little and just enjoy watching Alice have a good time.

I wasn't the jealous type, but I sensed every female in the bar tonight would sink her teeth into her if they got the chance. She was novelty, fresh meat, and helpless prey to them. I tried not to hover, but holding her hand and sneaking a kiss every once in a while helped to soothe my frazzled nerves as well as the alcohol did. I wasn't drunk by far, but I wasn't exactly sober either.

Alice downed the rest of her fifth drink and slipped off the stool. "Excuse me ladies, I need to use the ladies." She smiled bubbly and found her balance on her heels. Alice surely wasn't sober either.

Maria cocked a brow at me and amusement was clear as day on her face. "Jasper, Jasper, Jasper." She mused. "You went and fell in love. I never thought I would see the day."

My face froze and I just gaped at Maria. That was exactly what I was feeling. I had gone and fallen in love for the first time in my life. Sure, I knew I had strong feelings for Alice, but I hadn't counted on finding love so fast with her. I found my equilibrium after a long moment and groaned under my breath while rolling my eyes. I took a swig of my beer. It tasted stale and flat. "Mind your own business." I muttered.

Nettie laughed. "True to form. Jasper is not giving us any details, but how does it feel to finally be smitten?" She asked more honestly than Maria's taunting approach.

"You tell me?" I dared and smirked. Nettie was the one in and out of love all the time. She wasn't afraid to put herself out there, which often resulted in a broken heart, but she mended quickly.

They both snickered. "Jasper." Maria whined falsely. "Give us some specifics. How's the sex? It has got to be great with the way she looks at you?" I groaned feeling more like smacking my head against the bar. What was with everyone and their fixation on my sex life? It had only been two days since Emmett asked the very same thing.

"Not that that is any of your business either, but I wouldn't know." I said nonchalantly and waved for the bartender. If this conversation was going to continue like this, I needed another beer. "I haven't slept with her." I added in indifferently.

They both gawked at me incredulously. "Holy shit! Is she holding out on your sexy ass? She didn't strike me as a prude." Maria blurted and I laughed.

"Who said she was holding out on me?" I smirked, as that was hardly the case.

"You? You're actually holding back on her?" Nettie intervened. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Are you calling me a slut?" I cocked a brow at her.

"No! But in the past, it was never you who was holding back or having a great deal of patience either." Nettie snickered.

I shrugged. They would both know. In college, I had been dating Maria for a few months until the relationship had died on its own. Basically, it was just casual sex between us. We figured out we were much better off as friends opposed to lovers. With Nettie, it was a one-night stand that happened twice, both in drunken stupors, but it was never more than that and it had never been an obstacle in our friendship.

"Uh, my date is here. I am telling you, girls, best sex ever." Maria drawled. I glanced over my shoulder and spotted Leah zoning in on us. I grumbled irritated. Was she stalking me now? I thought the initial fire had died down and we were through this post break up thing already.

I narrowed my eyes at Leah, hating she had to ruin a great night. She only returned my antagonizing glare. I was dumbfounded when Maria bounced off her chair and greeted Leah. Sure, Leah had already bragged about her new conquest, but I hadn't in a million years expected it to be Maria.

"You ready." Leah asked and then glanced sideways at me. "Jasper. Where is your little bird?" She smirked, like she could kick me when I was down.

"Right behind you." I winked snidely when I saw Alice finally reemerging from the restroom. Her smile was radiant and her eyes twinkling. Yeah, she was inebriated alright.

"You two know each other?" Maria asked confused.

"Jasper is on my staff." Leah answered quickly and rather condescendingly. I rolled my eyes at her.

"What? No drink for me?" Alice beamed as she snug in between my legs since I now sat on her former stool. I put one hand on her hip and took the cold beer bottle from the counter while holding it out in front of her.

"Help yourself." I said softly and inhaled the fragrance of her hair. It stirred in my stomach, but I pushed it back as usual. Alice took a quick drink of the bottle and grimaced.

"Yikes, I don't get how you can drink that." She croaked and brushed her fingers across her lips. "Definitely a cocktail kinda gal." She muttered to herself. Yes, Alice definitely knew what she wanted. Nettie and I both laughed. "Oh, hi Leah." Alice chirped friendly when she spotted her, but she didn't move an inch from me. Leah hardly smiled in return.

"Nice to meet you, Alice." Maria said. "I'm off." She shrugged into her jacket and slung her purse over her shoulder.

"And going to get off." Leah said close to Maria's ear, though, loud enough for me to hear. She glared at me with an overbearing and antagonizing stare. I narrowed my eyes at Leah coolly, before they turned for the exit.

"Hey Maria." I called after her, knowing Leah would hear. She gazed over her shoulder as I pointed to Leah. "Her, I know." I laughed and took a swig of my beer enjoying Maria's jaw drop open. She knew me well and now she knew that Leah was my leftover. I couldn't let Leah leave with the upper hand. She had no control over me anymore.

"What was that about?" Alice asked quietly, just an octave above the music when they left.

I stroked her cheek and leaned in feeling braver, probably from the alcohol, and kissed her. "Nothing." I mouthed, relishing the soft brush of Alice's questing tongue.

"Don't lie to me." She whispered and moved her mouth from mine. She nuzzled into my neck and her lips grazed my earlobe. "Just tell me the truth. You're not going to scare me, and you need to learn that." She said seriously, but her voice was so sweet and seductive.

I pulled back and gazed at her shocked, because she was basically calling me out. "It's just Leah's attitude, I can't stand it." I said and Alice nodded quietly, but raised a manicured brow at me, waiting for me to elaborate. "You really want the details?" I questioned.

"I do." She answered. Her eyes were honest and soft, but not taking no for an answer. "How long ago were you with her?"

I sighed, feeling my heart leap into a frantic pace. I chewed the inside of my cheek, as I knew that I couldn't lie to Alice. "I broke it off with her two weeks ago." I said quietly and glanced down at my hands holding the beer bottle. I felt like an ass having to admit this and it was like the room went silent and the music died down.

"Two weeks." She muttered quietly. I knew Alice was smart enough to figure out that would be the day before we had our first date. "Did you love her?" She asked after a silent moment.

"No." I peered apprehensively through my lashes at Alice's face. I was surprised to see she showed no adversity at all.

"Why did you break up with her?"

I lifted my face to meet her questions honestly. "Because I met you." I said earnestly.

She tried to control her beaming smile and her eyes twinkled at me. She parted her lips slightly and ran her tongue across her teeth. A shaky breath skated from her mouth. "Have you been out with anyone else in the last two weeks?"

I brushed my pointer finger across her lip, gathering some of the gloss covering her mouth. "No. Just you." I answered put the tip of my finger into my mouth tasting her passion fruit lip-gloss. "I don't plan to see anyone else either, Alice."

"Sounds good." Alice beamed a megawatt smile. After a while, she tapped a finger at her temple a few times. "And I am guessing you've been with Maria too?" She asked and I nodded in confirmation. "When?"

"A long time ago. I met her in college." I sighed, knowing Alice wouldn't give up her questions until she knew it all, so I figured I might as well just give it all up right there and then. "Nettie too." I added softly. "But we are all friends now. Nothing to worry about, Alice." My heart was pounding furiously. Hoping like hell she wouldn't run, though I kind of expected it.

"I know." Alice shrugged like it was no big deal. I was so grateful and floored by her. I leaned forward again and kissed her. She parted her lips mingling her tongue with mine immediately.

"Feeling like the third wheel here." Nettie interrupted us and it was like the music filtered back into the room again. I had all but forgotten about Nettie. It happened more than once that I lost track of my surroundings when I was with Alice. It was like I was caught in a bubble. "You kids have fun." Nettie smirked impishly at me.

I grinned and flipped my finger at her behind Alice's back. Nettie just laughed louder, while blending in with the crowd. "A drink for the thirsty lady." The bartender interjected. She slid the glass over the counter towards Alice and freaking winked. "On the house."

"Thank you." Alice emitted. I stared across the counter. Even the fucking bartender was hitting on my girl. I was slightly jealous, but somehow glad I was here with Alice and her hands and eyes were on me. The rest could only dream.

Alice took a big drink of her fresh cocktail. "You wanna dance?" I asked, putting my hands on her hips.

"I thought you'd never ask." She whispered. Her eyes twinkling while practically shining with joy. I laced my fingers into hers as we pushed through the crowd to the back where the dim lit dance floor was located. We slipped into the darkness and the swamp of swaying people. The song playing was rather slow and intimate. I spotted a few people kissing, while most of the others were just grinding and groping to the intense beat of the music.

Alice moved her arms around my neck and pushed her body flush against mine. I nuzzled my face into her hair, savoring her smell as the music changed even more intense. We swayed gently to the rhythm letting it swallow us up. Her body was warm against mine. I roamed my hands down her back and she seemed to soften in my arms. It was like we melted into each other and were locked in yet another bubble. This bold and beautiful girl was mine. She wanted to figure out what path her life should take and she wanted to do it with me. I felt honored.

Her hand moved under my shirt at the small of my back. Her light touch was welcome and gentle as she started stroking my skin further up my back. I knew she would feel the slight irregularities of my scars. She had yet to see them, but to me they were no big deal. I closed my eyes and searched her lips needing to feel the warm wetness of her mouth. Her lips parted and she tasted fruity and slightly like alcohol. I was growing warm all over, my body tingling and my head was spinning, but it wasn't all from the beers. Alice's breath was deepening and her kisses were growing more and more intense. I wondered if she even thought about what she was doing or just reacted to how she was feeling. I hoped for the former, but expected the latter.

The song ended and she pulled back from my mouth. Her lips were glistering soft and red. Her eyes were longing, hungry and desperate in their depth and passion. "Take me home, Jasper." She ordered softly. "Please… I want to go home with you." Her voice was a breath above a whisper. I chewed the inside of my cheek. I was torn. There was nothing I wanted more than to have her beside me all night, but I also knew what would happen if I did take her home with me. There would be no going back for her or for me.

oooooOOOOooooo

I flipped the light on in the hall and stepped out of my shoes. My feet were killing me since I hadn't broken my new heels in properly before wearing them for an entire night. I closed the door and glanced at Alice as she untied the belt of her jacket. I was stupid as stupid could be, but I had agreed to take Alice home with me.

"You want something?" I asked, hoping and praying this wasn't awkward for her. She had been quiet all the way home. She shook her head silently. I suspected Alice knew as well as I did what was written in the cards. She had asked for it after all. Her lower lip trembled a bit and I brushed my finger across it. "You still want this?" I asked quietly, hoping her resolve hadn't faltered.

"Very much." She whispered and locked her lips to mine. Her arms were shaky as they worked through the buttons of my shirt and for the first time I let her. Her kiss was longing, but a warning was ringing despite the desire pounding through both of us. She parted my shirt while pushing it off my shoulders. She brushed her trembling fingers across my collarbone and down over my bra clad chest. She was careful, but slightly restrained and not as bold and blunt as she had been every step of the way. I leaned my head back against the wall, pulling free of her kiss.

"Is there anything you want to tell me, Alice?" I murmured. Something was wrong and I needed to know what. She nuzzled her face into the crook of my neck kissing, but sighed shakily. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her to me. "Tell me, please."

"I want you so much, but I am so afraid that I will be bad at it. I'm afraid that I can't please you like you do me. I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do with them. You are so confident and I've all ways been the… recipient, so to speak." She glanced up at me with fear deeply embedded in her lovely eyes.

"I see." I answered softly, feeling grateful that she was being so honest with me. "Don't worry about it, beautiful Alice. Just let me take care of you, then." I slipped the zipper of her dress down, let the straps fall, and the fabric pooled at her feet.

"But Jasper, I…" I cut her off with a kiss.

"No buts." I whispered around her lips, plunging my tongue into her mouth. "I need you to feel good." I was bolder from the alcohol than I normally would have been, but I had to get my hands and mouth on her. I didn't need anything in return, but I was starved to hear Alice moan and whisper my name. I was too aroused and too far gone to just go to sleep now. I needed more.

She moaned and reciprocated my frantic kiss. This was the part we knew, this was what we had tried… so far. I had touched her twice. I had even seen her naked today, but now I wanted and needed to feel her naked body trembling and convulsing.

I pushed my hands into her hair and started walking her backwards into my bedroom with our mouths slipping and sliding against each other. I relieved her of the bra, just as she fell backwards on the bed. She reached for me and I leaned over her when she practically assaulted my mouth again. Her hands raked up my back stopping at my scars. I ignored it, focusing on getting her out of her panties, stockings and that ultra-sexy garter belt. I sat back on my haunches, straddled across her waist as her eyes fled down my chest and to my stomach. She reached out, and brushed her fingers across a few of them on my stomach.

"Why so many?" She frowned.

"I'll tell you tomorrow." I murmured. I didn't want to talk about it now. I had more urgent matters at hand. I leaned down over her and worked my mouth over her neck and down to her breasts. She made a guttural groan and arched her back when I bit down on her flesh gently. Her soft hands roamed further down my body and played with the button of my jeans. It was digging into my stomach, but I didn't allow her to open more than that one. "Another time, Alice." I whispered and suckled her nipple, while removing her hands. I didn't want her to think she had to touch me, because she thought I expected it. I expected nothing of her. I only wanted her to feel good. She was what mattered tonight. "I want to make you to cum." I murmured and she groaned in response.

Her body was burning and having her sprawled naked on my bed was an epic moment. How many times had I thought about this? I was glad the alcohol was relaxing me. Otherwise, I would have been a blubbering heap of nerves. I kissed my way over her stomach when I slipped my hand up her thigh over her hip. I grazed my fingers down to the inside of her thigh testing if she really was willing to let me do this. I hoped so. I was hungry to have my mouth on her and to taste how sweet she really was. She sighed deeply, lacing her fingers into my hair. I ran my fingers over the outside of her sex gently and she responded by parting her legs wider.

I slipped further down the bed and watched my hand as I mildly kept running my fingers up and down the apex of her thighs. She was squirming, panting and her flesh was growing warmer by the second. Alice was passionate in everything she did. Even when exploring her sexuality, she was trusting and forthcoming. I couldn't doubt for one second that she wanted this, because she did. She was wet and ready, her sex literally pulsating and begging to be touched, licked and nibbled. I slipped my fingers into her flesh and gently rubbed her clit.

"God that feels so good." She whimpered. "Oh, Jasper." She mumbled my name incoherently and spread her legs even wider, inviting me to touch her more deeply. I leaned down and gently ran my nose across her warm and soft skin, then nibbled gently at the soft skin of her thigh. I inhaled and savored the smell of Alice's raw desire and arousal, loving her sweet fragrance. I brushed my tongue across her wet wanting skin and Alice moaned intensely. I couldn't hold back any longer and I stopped thinking about it. I locked my mouth to her flesh and let my tongue work over her sensitive clit. She bucked her hips meeting my mouth and whimpered almost desperate. I relished her gentle exotic sounds. This was exactly what I wanted to hear. This was how I wanted and needed her to feel. I pulled back slightly and slipped my fingers inside of her. I glanced up at her face. In the dim light, I picked up a hint of a pinkish blush spreading from her puckered nipples, over her collarbone to her throat and cheeks. Her lips were parted and eyes closed in a blissful looking expression. Never in my life had I seen anyone look so stunning when she was aroused.

Her face pulled into a dissatisfied grimace and her hands locked into my hair again. "No, I want your mouth." She panted. I smiled and did exactly as she ordered. If that was what she wanted, that was what she would get. I locked my mouth to her pussy like she wanted and didn't let go until I felt her walls clamp down on my fingers and the muscles in her thighs go rigid. I listened intently and savored the sound of her guttural moans as her orgasm rushed through her body. Giving the girl that I was in love with this kind of pleasure was astounding and rewarding in a way I had never imagined. I kissed her soft stomach waiting and watching as her body convulsed before giving her a chance to relax. Her breath quieted and I dipped my tongue into her belly button and she giggled quietly. I sucked a little flesh of her stomach into my mouth before dipping south kissing the inside of her thigh.

"More?" She breathed sweetly.

"Yes. I'm not done yet." I murmured, slipping my tongue over the wet skin of her pussy.

oooooOOOOoooooo

Her heart was hammering away in her chest, but she was already fast asleep. Her lips were slightly parted, her cheeks completely flushed and her eyes were closed. The sheet covered her body up to her navel as I lay quietly and stared at her. I grazed my fingers across her lips feeling an unknown happiness wash over me. The taste of her still lingered in my mouth and Alice had tasted as sweet as she was soft. I blamed the alcohol that she had been slightly louder this time, but the way she had moved and groaned when she climaxed had almost made me convulse. Making Alice fall apart like that had been one of the greatest moments of my life. I wanted her to feel good and surely as the sun rose every morning she had fallen apart in my bed and by my hands. I loved it. I would live to experience another moment like that.

I stroked her hair and ran my finger across her eyelids. She was so soft and warm, while so bold and daring. She made my head spin. I wanted, hoped, and wished that she wouldn't turn on her heel and decide that she did not want this life, but that was all I could do… hope.

"I love you, Alice." I whispered quietly. Emotions roared up on me like a Mack truck and I realized that I would travel to the end of the world not to lose her. She gave my life so much meaning and so much depth to live for that I feared going back to not having her. A new and unwelcome loneliness would shatter me in an instant. I hadn't been missing anything out of life until I met her, but now I was nothing without this brave woman at my side.

I carefully slipped out of the bed, setting my trembling feet on the floor. Sure, I was coming back from my inebriation, but my shaking wasn't only caused by the relapse of alcohol. I was realizing that I loved her. I wasn't just in love with her. No, I truly loved Alice. I had never loved any of my girlfriends. Not really. I think it was more the idea of love that had captivated me. I had never felt the emotion like I did now. It was like an extra force making my heart beat in my chest. I might never have truly felt it, but I sure as hell never said it to anyone either. I glanced at Alice as she curled to her side and hugged my pillow. Her breath was soft and almost undetectable.

The kitchen was deadly quiet when I turned on the faucet. Pouring down two glasses of water because my mouth was drying out. A headache was building in my temples. I was starting to feel the consequences of drinking. I brushed my teeth and stared at my face for a moment. I squeezed some lotion into my fingers and rubbed it over my eyes, removing my make-up and remainders of mascara. I washed my face, dried it and flipped off the light.

I poured another glass of water and left two Advil at my nightstand for Alice. I figured she would feel all the cosmopolitans when she woke up. I stripped out of my toothpick jeans and unclasped my bra. I changed my panties because I was just as wet as Alice, even though I hadn't been touched. I slipped on a pair of cotton shorts and a singlet and crawled carefully back into bed next to Alice. She sighed content when I curled my arm over her waist and pulled her back to me. I buried my face in her chaotic hair and felt content, really honestly content. I was home, I was in love, and my girl was sleeping sated and naked in my bed. This was what life was supposed to feel like.

oooooOOOOooooo

**Thank you for reading. Next chapter will be Friday the 11****th**** of feb. Please review and/or add me to your alerts.**

**I will have a One Shot featured on the 9****th**** of Feb with Squeeze my Lemon. It will be hot and sultry, mixed in with a lot of other naughty stuff. But please check out their gatherings of Lemons. It's so much fun!**

**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**Thank you to those of you who added me to your alerts. As for commenting I am clueless to why you are so quiet. I wish I knew what to do to get you to speak up and tell me if you love it or hate it! But now I am giving up, settling on my couch with the remote and just hoping that you enjoy the story.**

**I really want to thank DAY for the interview on www twificbitches blogspot com. That was fun to do. And if you read the rec you will get a kick in the shin personally by her if you don't review. LMAO.**

**Enjoy the chapter.**

**oooooOOOOooooo**

**The Third weekend – Part II**

A sharp insistent shrill kept irritating my ears. Drowsily, I peeled my eyes open. The lids felt thick and crusty. The nerve grating ringing kept on going, claiming my attention. I sighed frustrated because I was so warm and comfortable in bed. Alice's warm body was curled halfway over mine and her face was nuzzled into my neck. The ringing stopped for a second only to pick up again a moment later. I gave up on ignoring it and reluctantly slipped out from under Alice. She grumbled and hugged my pillow. She looked so peaceful and happy sleeping.

My head was throbbing as I stumbled out into the hall where I located the heinous sound. Alice's purse was flipped open on the floor and it was her phone constantly ringing. I fished it out of her bag, intending to silence it when I saw it was Bella. Alice constantly worried about her and Bella wouldn't call like this if something wasn't wrong.

"Are you okay, Bella?" I asked the moment that I answered her call, not thinking I might be invading Alice's privacy.

"Alice?" Bella said warily.

"No. It's Jasper." I mouthed, biting the inside of my cheek. Perhaps, Alice wouldn't want Bella to know she had spent the night with me. Perhaps, Bella wouldn't really approve. "Are you okay?" I asked, ignoring my internal battle and my groggy state of mind.

Bella sighed heavily and it grew quiet. "Alice is with you, right? She didn't come home last night. Please, just tell me she is with you." Bella begged. I was taken aback by her obvious worry.

"Yeah, she's here. She's sleeping."

"Thank God." Bella said quietly. "So she's okay?"

"I should suspect so." I answered quietly. Alice and I had some talking to do when she woke up. The night hadn't ended like I planned. I hadn't been able to control myself at all. Going down on her in a semi-drunken state, because I needed to, wasn't one of my finer moments. I saw that with different clarity now, than I had last night. To top it off, I practically assaulted her body. Alice would probably be sporting a hangover too. "You want to talk to her?"

"No, just let her sleep. It's just not like her not to come home or at least call if she is out late."

"I see. That's probably my fault. I'll have her call when she wakes up, okay?"

"Thanks, Jasper."

The moment that I hung up the phone, my doorbell screeched followed by a loud pounding on the door. I groaned and reached for the handle. "Emmett." I mumbled. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" I ran my hands down my face, feeling like I could use a good few hours of sleep.

"Hey big sis." He smirked at me. "Long night?" He grinned and stepped forward. "I brought breakfast." He held up a box of doughnuts and a jug of juice.

"Not today, Emmett." I said and blocked his entrance. "Now is not a good time."

Emmett cocked a brow at me and glanced around the hall. I quickly realized that I was standing in a jumbled heap of coats, shoes, Alice's dress, my shirt and her purse spilling its contents onto the floor. I hadn't realized that we had been that messy. Emmett's laugh boomed. "You had pussy last night. Was it ass fondling girl? Sorry, I mean Pixie? Was it good? Is she still here?" He continued one question after another. I blocked his way once more when he was about to push past me. He glanced down at me entertained. I snatched the box of doughnuts and the juice.

"Shut up and get out." I snapped, but I couldn't help smiling. I loved Emmett, but he was a crude bastard. That had been firmly established.

"Hey! That's my breakfast too." He complained. I pulled a doughnut from the box and shoved it at him.

"Bon appetite. Consider it payback for your lack of manners. I'll call you later."

Emmett laughed, but he knew better than to cross me now. I was slightly irritated, feeling drowsy and itching to get back to bed. If anyone else called or decided to pay me a visit, they could consider themselves ignored. All I wanted was a quiet and private morning with Alice. Was that too much to ask? I slammed the door in his face and left the food in the kitchen. When I entered the bedroom, things were like I expected. Alice had been woken up. She was still hugging my pillow while gazing up at me cautiously. I snug under the sheets, relishing the feeling of her warm naked body against mine again.

"Who was that?" She croaked dryly. Her hair was a disarrayed mess around her head; her make-up was splattered around her eyes that were thick and crusty. Her chapped lips were a deep plum color. She looked delicious like that in my bed.

"Uh… that was Emmett."

"He knows about me?" She asked softly and propped herself up on her elbow.

"Yep. He saw you outside my apartment a while back. Please don't mind what he said." I frowned, remembering his nonchalant pussy comment.

Alice shrugged. "You don't want me to meet him?" She asked tentatively.

"No." I said, quietly watching her eyes turn sad. "But not for the reasons you might think. Emmett takes some getting used to. He is rude and loud. Besides, you're looking adorably cute and honestly just fucked. You're also naked and in my bed. He would feed off that for months. Neither of us would ever hear the end of it, if you met him now." I stroked her soft cheek, brushing my fingers across her dry lips carefully. "But I do want you to meet him… just later."

"Okay." She agreed sweetly. I sat back against the head of the bed and reached for the pills and water on my nightstand.

"For you." I offered and she smiled. She didn't take the pills, but opened her mouth instead. I smirked at her, and placed the pills on her tongue. She sat up some and swallowed the water, downing the medication. "How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Like I had one too many Cosmos." She murmured. She nestled in the sheets again and I followed by lying on my side to face her.

"We need to talk." I said quietly.

Alice closed her eyes and sighed. "I know." Her normally bubbly persona was gone and it made me sad. "I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't mean to be a tease and lead you on."

I stared at her, stunned by her admission. "You didn't, Alice. Don't think like that. I am glad you spoke up and told me how you felt. I know you are going to have doubts and a lot of things between us are going to be new to you. I understand that. I just want you to always be as honest as you were with me last night. You might want to touch me, but you also need to be ready for it. Last night, you weren't and you told me. I am grateful you did. Otherwise, it might kill what we have between us and I don't want that to happen."

"So you're not mad at me?" She asked and frowned.

"I can't be mad at you for being honest and following your instincts. It is called common sense. I am glad my girl is smart enough to know that."

She smiled thinly. "Thanks, Jasper." She whispered. "It's not that I don't want to. I panicked and didn't know how to go about the whole thing. It scared me that you know exactly what you are doing and I don't. I just wanted to… uh, please you as much as you do me."

I laughed lightly. "I had my first kiss when I was fourteen. That was ten years ago. I had a bit of practice since then. I know what _I_ like, but don't let that scare you."

Alice pondered for a moment. "So your first kiss, was it a boy or a girl?"

"Girl. I never kissed a boy." I answered softly.

Alice gawked at me. "Never? Nothing?"

"Absolutely nothing. I never wanted anything to do with men. Like I said, I knew what I wanted. I wanted girls. I always wanted pussy. Don't worry about feeling a little inexperienced. It's only natural. We will just take it slow and let things happen when and if you want them too." I paused. "I think it's me that owes you an apology."

Alice frowned and pursed her lips. "Why would you think that?"

"Last night. I shouldn't have pushed you like that. I shouldn't…"

Alice put a finger over my lips and cut me off succinctly. "Don't, Jasper." She cautioned. "Don't ruin it. I liked that you didn't over think it and just did what comes naturally to you. What you wanted. Having you touch me like that felt unbelievable." Her eyes twinkled mischievously and her chest flushed slightly.

"I was afraid that I scared you." I said quietly.

She rolled her eyes at me and sighed dramatically. "How many times do I have to say it? You are not going to scare me. You were kind and understanding last night, just like you always are. Were you always like that?" Alice asked and smiled sweetly again.

"I hope so." I shrugged and laughed, feeling relieved. "Alice, take your time figuring this out. Don't compare yourself to me. I figured out a long time ago what I wanted. If you have doubts or questions, I trust that you will talk to me because you have so far and it's important that you do. It is crucial is that you are comfortable and I don't want to push you if you're not ready. This is how my life is. You are basically a newborn so you always need to speak up if you have doubts." I paused. "I hope you can see how important that is."

"I do." She muttered quietly. "How old were you the first time you had sex?"

"Sixteen."

"I just turned seventeen when I lost my virginity." She laughed drearily. "He was a moron and hardly knew what to do with his…equipment. It was uncomfortable."

"Then why did you do it?" I asked confused.

"Remember when I told you that I fooled around with a girl in high school." I nodded. "Well, there was this girl. She was pretty and a cheerleader. We had become friends all of a sudden, but it felt like _more_. There was this odd chemistry between us. She made me laugh and I was like drawn to her. We had next to nothing in common, but strangely, I just couldn't get enough of her. One night we smoked some of her brother's weed and got pretty stoned. She suddenly asked me if I had ever kissed a girl. I told her no and she dared me to do it. So we kissed just to prove that I wasn't a chicken. I just remember my mind being foggy. I let myself be swallowed up in the whole thing. The next thing I knew we weren't just kissing, but we were touching and undressing. I was so unsure of the whole thing, but it was clear that Lauren wanted more. I didn't say no since what we were doing actually felt good. She went down on me and she wasn't really good at it, I mean, she didn't get me off, but I didn't mind her doing it. It wasn't like she was violating me, or anything. I was just really confused because I never really thought about her doing that to me or me doing it to her.

"I avoided her for a few days after that, but she kept calling and apologizing for what happened, saying she hadn't meant it and that it happened because she was stoned. When I finally talked to her about it, I wanted her to be honest about what she wanted from our friendship. Lauren finally admitted she wanted _more_ and that she liked what happened between us. I was just as confused as ever, since I was supposed to like boys and not girls. I liked Lauren, but that was not how things were supposed to be. So I told Lauren that I was okay with what happened between us, but I didn't want it to happen again. I said that I thought we should just be friends. She got pissed off and didn't want to be just friends.

"Stupid as I was, I wanted to rectify the situation and convince myself that I did like boys and not girls, so I went on a few dates with this guy. One night when his parents weren't home, I had sex with him. And like I said, it was uncomfortable and I didn't really like it. I told myself it was just because it was the first time. Some of my other friends said it was like that for them too, so I thought I was just like them, that I liked boys. But in the back of my mind, I kept missing Lauren and what I had with her. I missed her friendship and perhaps that _more _she said she wanted. That waas when I noticed that she had this way of always having exclusive friendships. Sometimes for a few weeks, other times it was for months, but the friendships never really lasted. You know, not like a childhood friend that you have been friends with like forever. With Lauren, they always changed."

"So your first crush was on Lauren?" I asked, lying still just gazing at Alice. She nodded briefly. "So what happened when you got to college?" I questioned, loving Alice's openness.

"That was just as confusing. I mean that I met so many new people and when you study fashion, it's an industry where there are a lot of gay people, especially men. In the end, you don't really notice it anymore. I met a few guys who I dated, and had sex with. It wasn't bad or awkward like the first time. It was nice and I got used to it. Just once in a while, a girl would cross my path and I couldn't resist. I never had a relationship. It was mainly just fooling around for one night. I never went all the way with any of them, as you know. It was always them touching me, not the other way around. That basically leaves me at twenty four, still trying to figure out what the hell I am." She said quietly and laced her arm over her face, but not before I saw her eyes brimming with tears. I didn't like she was hiding from me when she was being so honest and so forthcoming. I wanted to know all of this stuff. I wanted to know everything about her. I didn't want her to feel ashamed.

I had to be realistic also. I had put my heart out there and the situation between us was skating on thin ice. I was really putting myself at risk, something I didn't normally do. I mainly just had monogamous sexual partners without a serious emotional tie, but Alice changed all that. "Look at me, Alice." I said quietly. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and moved her arm back to her side. She gazed at me nervously. I wanted to help her. I wanted to aid her figuring her out her frustrations. I skimmed my fingers across her lower lip and grazed them down her throat. "How does it feel when I touch you like this?" I asked quietly.

She closed her eyes briefly. "I like it very much."

"Yeah? How about now?" I slipped my hand down over her naked chest, where the soft nipple puckered hard under my fingers when I touched her. I played my fingers over the tip of her breast, teasing the sensitive skin.

"Like magic." She sighed and parted her lips.

Slipping my hand further down and circling her belly button a few times, I drew past the soft splay of hairs and caressed the silky skin of her thigh. She moaned. "And now? What do you feel?"

She squirmed. "I wish you would touch me." She breathed. Her words arrowed right through me, spiking my need for her once more. I slipped my leg in between hers, relishing the feeling of skin against skin.

"And what if I did?" I murmured and kissed the corner of her mouth. The tension and need from her body was thick in the air. I could almost smell her arousal as her body melted towards mine.

"I wish I knew how to make you feel like this."

"Don't worry. You can, Alice." I murmured quietly, caressing her flesh softly, rubbing her clit. I watched her gently writhe her head deeper into my pillow and arch her neck. She groaned and curved her hips upward meeting my hand. Her entire body was trembling and every breath that skated from her mouth deeper and deeper. I slipped my fingers into her sex enjoying the wetness. Her legs pulled apart leaving me space to dip my fingers deeply into her. "What if I said I wanted to make you cum?" I whispered into her neck, taking a small bite of her skin. I wanted the chance to hear her pleasure once more as an orgasm rocked her body, just like last night. It was the most erotic thing I had ever heard - intense and primal at the same time.

Alice groaned and arched her back once more. "I would say I wanted to make you cum too." Muscles clenched hard in my belly and moisture pooled between my legs. I might not be getting any, but that didn't mean my body didn't want to. My body was starving for a touch and the chance of relief.

"What are you afraid that you will miss out on being with me? Is there something you will miss compared to being with a man?" I asked quietly and withdrew my fingers. I rubbed her swollen clit as Alice turned to me. Her pupils were enlarged and her eyes deep with need and hunger. I drew her bottom lip into my mouth, suckling it. It was incredible to feel her body withering against mine so passionately, but I needed an answer for my question. I carefully pinched her clit and she squirmed and moaned breathlessly.

"Please, Jasper." She swallowed between pants and gasped. "Oh… oh. More, I want more." She whispered greedily.

"What will you miss, Alice?" I whispered still pressuring her for an answer, but not letting myself get distracted by her words. I knew that I was using control, but I couldn't help it. Her hands locked into my hair, knotting hard. Her breathing was erratic and her chest was flushed with desire. I knew that I was being completely unfair using sex as a weapon to lure the truth from her, but I had to know her doubts. I had to ensure that whatever it was she would miss wouldn't doom us, at least not if it was something that I could give her.

Her mouth found mine in a warm wet and lust spiked kiss. "Nothing." She mouthed almost incoherently. I smiled exuberantly. Another guttural groan escaped her lips when I pushed my finger inside of her again. "Please don't stop, Jasper." Her voice was gritty and thick.

"I wasn't planning on it." I murmured and leaned down, kissing her chest. Her hands roamed down my body, literally squeezing my ass to push me closer to her. I suckled her nipple and she whimpered a response and the walls of her sex started pulsating warmly and her body went taut with pleasure against mine. I loved how easy it was getting her off, how responsive she was. I smiled to myself when I heard her quiet cries as she climaxed. I kissed her chest softly when she rode out her orgasm. I just listened and watched her. She was the most stunning woman that I had ever seen.

oooooOOOOooooo

"You really don't fight fairly." Alice said and hopped up on the kitchen counter. I met her eyes as she cocked a brow while leering at me. Her cheeks and chest were still rosy from her climax. My robe was loosely tied at her waist, leaving entirely too much cleavage showing. She hadn't bothered with her clothes, but just borrowed my terrycloth robe. I liked she was so comfortable with me and with her own body. It was one thing battling her not knowing the full extent of her sexuality, but having to battle self-confidence issues would have been an entirely different matter. I never understood that, but then again, I had always been confident. I was nowhere near as petite as Alice and I didn't aspire to be either. I liked the way I looked, even with all my flaws. I was on the lean side, but I had thighs, ass and breasts.

"I know I don't." I smirked and pulled some eggs out of the fridge. We had decided breakfast would help us both cure the hang over. "I just wanted you to realize there is nothing wrong with wanting a female touch. I didn't want you to panic." I said quietly.

"Did you think I was panicking?" she asked incredulously.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Last night we were both a little drunk, but you wanted me and I definitely wanted you. I was afraid you would be ashamed of that today. I wanted to make sure you weren't having second thoughts."

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes. "You got to stop this insecurity bullshit, Jasper." She groaned. I nearly dropped the carton of eggs into the sink. She was calling me insecure? I was flabbergasted because that was basically one thing I never was. "I told you a story and, yes, I got nervous last night, but that in no way makes me ashamed of being with you. Get that through your thick head. I am insecure about touching you, making you all hot and bothered like you do me and making you cum. Yes, that scares the crap out of me, because quite frankly I think I will suck at it and you will be disappointed with me."

I laughed. "I would never be disappointed with you, Alice. You are the bravest woman that I have ever met." I started cracking the eggs onto the frying pan, smiling at her audacity for calling me out. It really was my own fear getting the better of me.

"Okay." Alice said and took a deep breath. I glanced up at her. "Come here then." She basically purred.

"What?" I stared at her confused.

"Instead of beating around the bush." She chimed cheerfully. "You have seen all of me and I have seen practically nothing of your body. I want to see it." She suckled her lower lip. "So strip." She ordered. I stared stunned.

"What? Now?" This time I did drop the egg and it crashed and cracked against the side of the pan. Alice laughed and grabbed my hand pulling me to her. Suddenly, I was the one feeling insecure and put on the spot. Still sitting on the table she wrapped her legs around my waist, locking me to her. She leaned forward and kissed me softly. I could taste the minty flavor of toothpaste on her tongue.

"I am curious." She said quietly when she stopped kissing me. She fiddled with the hem of my shirt. I was still just in my nightwear. She slowly started to lift my shirt and peel it up my body. Her breath hitched and I knew why. It wasn't desire. It was my scars. I was left shirtless, but I never felt insecure about my body. It wasn't my fault.

She traced her elegant fingers along a few of the larger lash lines, sadness washing over her face. "What happened to you?"

"It's not that bad." I reassured her. "I was attacked by the neighbor's dog when I was five. It bit me multiple times, but I was lucky that the damage was mostly to the skin." I turned slowly let her see the scars trailed to my back as well. Some were just small puncture wounds, while others had needed a few stitches. Over the years, they had faded and most of them were just small white marks now. In general, it was hard to miss that one side of my stomach and back looked like a chew toy.

I turned to face her and her hands grazed up my stomach over my chest. "You say that I am beautiful, but I think that I am no match for you, Jasper. You're absolutely stunning." She mouthed with awe. I gave her half a smile, meeting her eyes when she drew her fingertips down over my breast, familiarizing herself with my body. "I guess that is not the first time you've been told that." She said evaluating my face.

I palmed her cheek, stroking my thumb across the soft skin. "No." I answered quietly, trying not to sound snide. It wasn't the first time that I had been complimented on my body. It didn't really matter to me what anyone thought about my body, especially my chest as I had heard it all. Sure, I supposedly had been blessed with picturesque breasts, but my right side had also been massacred by a dog. It was about perspective, not perfection. Alice leaned forward, kissing me, parting my lips immediately. Her kiss was hungry, passionate and recognized her curiosity. It scared me. Right now, I sensed in her that she wanted to go back to the bedroom and explore me, not the other way around this time and it frightened me.

Lying back on a bed receiving pleasure was one thing, but giving it and learning if it was the right thing for her was entirely another. When she was done, knew my body and had her curiosity met, that was when she would know for sure if this was for her or not. That was when I might lose her for good. I ended the kiss, knowing I couldn't take that chance right now. I couldn't bear the consequence when she finally figured out what she wanted and it wasn't me. I was terrified. I removed her hand, linking my fingers into hers when they played around the waistband of my loose cotton shorts getting ready to dip lower and slip into my pants.

"I'm hungry." I mumbled overwhelmed with sadness that I couldn't just give into her. My body was screaming for my surrender and to let her please me.

Alice brushed her teeth with the tip of her tongue. "So am I."

I grinned and forced a smile. "Food." I admonished and she laughed. I held my hand out for my shirt and Alice placed it in my palm.

"Another time then." She smiled a snide little grin and her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Sure." I muttered, knowing she probably saw right through me. I slipped my shirt over my head and cracked the last of the eggs onto the frying pan and cleaned up the shell of the one I had dropped. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bella called while you slept…" I was cut off as Alice bolted from the counter, running for the hall.

"Shit." She hissed as she frantically pushed the buttons and held the phone to her ear. "Bella, I'm so sorry." She whined into the phone. I was left dumbfounded, standing with the spatula in my hand, gaping at Alice as she apologized profusely. "You did?" She stared at me. "I'll be home soon, Bella." She promised and paused. "Are you sure?" She hesitated. "Okay." She finished and ended the call.

I was still gawking at Alice as she frantically ran her tongue back and forth over her front teeth. "What was that about?" I asked quietly, but I needed to know. I hadn't been the slightest bit concerned that there was more between them than friendship, but Alice reacting so abruptly had me a bit on edge.

Alice sighed and leaned over the counter on her elbows. Running her feline fingers over her face, she murmured into her hands. "I don't like to leave her alone at night." She answered quietly and void of the bubbly girl I admired.

"Why?" I asked trying to sound indifferent, when I was far from it. I started stirring the eggs, which were sizzling furiously on the pan.

"She has nightmares and screams in her sleep. She never wakes, but I just don't want her to be alone when it happens." She tilted her face up and looked seriously at me. "I should have gone home last night. I didn't even call her."

"I am sorry that I distracted you." I chewed my cheek, feeling guilty.

Alice rolled her eyes at me and leaned closer, kissing my cheek. "I don't think that was your entire fault." I smiled, relishing the joyful and spirited tenor that was back in her voice. "But I made a promise to Bella to help her through all of this and I am going to keep it."

"I would be disappointed if you didn't." I said and flipped the eggs. I loved her for who she was and didn't want to change a single thing about her. Never in a million years would I force her to break a promise to a friend. Alice beamed and sank her teeth into one of the doughnuts that Emmett had supplied. "Let's eat."

"It must be tough losing her husband and then finding out she is pregnant." I said, finishing the last bit of food on my plate.

Alice stopped eating, with her fork hanging midair loaded with eggs. "Jacob died before that, Jasper. It's almost a year and a half ago now. He's not the father." She said quietly.

"So who is?" I blurted dumbstruck that I apparently had it all backwards. Bella was sad that was obvious, but I had assumed it was the loss of her husband that caused her sorrow.

"I can't tell you that. It's a secret that only Bella can tell you." She opened her mouth and stuck the fork in.

I narrowed her eyes at her. "Why is it a secret?" Alice only smiled and I read her. She wasn't going to say anything else on the topic, so I changed it. "Did you know Jacob?"

She nodded. "He was a friend of mine from before Bella moved here. I knew him, since the beginning of high school. He was cheerful for the most part, but a bit of a temperamental teenager." Alice placed her fork at the edge of the plate and I watched as her eyes glass over.

"You lost a friend too." I stated softly. She only nodded, but the moisture in her eyes didn't overflow. She was still sad for her loss and that made me sad. I took my plate from the table and kissed her chaotic hair when I passed. "Finish up and I'll walk you home, Alice."

"Thanks." She murmured.

oooooOOOOOooooo

**I had a One Shot featured on the 9****th**** of Feb with Squeeze my Lemon, called **_**Happy Birthday, My Love**_**. It is hot and sultry, mixed in with a lot of other naughty stuff. I added it to my own site. Check it out if you dare.**

**I'll see you next Friday.**

**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**Thanks for those of you who commented and added me to your alerts. I am grateful.**

**Enjoy this next leg in the journey of Jasper and Alice.**

oooooOOOOooooo

**Week Four**

Waking up Monday morning, I hardly had any sleep all night. My mind was groggy and my body was aching. I had walked Alice home the day before, but I had been restless all afternoon. I needed to do something to get rid of the burning carnal need and frustration rocking my body, so I had pulled out my running shoes and stupidly ran 3 miles. My energy was spruced by pure sexual frustration. I was nowhere near fit enough for that kind of hard exercise. While getting out of bed the next morning, I felt the consequences of my decision to go full out jogging. My legs were like cement. Taking a scorching hot shower helped alleviate some of the tensions in my muscles, but getting myself off had relieved only a fraction of my need for Alice.

I was still completely stunned by the depth of my feelings for her. I knew with perfect clarity that they were true, but I just didn't know how to handle them as loving someone was completely new to me. Getting into bed last night had been almost insufferable. My sheets smelled like her and I felt so utterly alone. I wanted her long brown hair to flow over my pillow the same way it had in the morning when we had woken up together. I never enjoyed having someone sleeping in my bed, as they always seemed to torture my pillows or mess up my sheets in a way that I didn't like, but I didn't mind having Alice in my space because I wanted to share it with her. Though, I didn't know how to handle these new unbelievably intense emotions that came with being so much in love with another person.

Alice had cancelled our morning coffee sending me a short text message. I had been devastated, but opening my computer at work to a sweet and caring email from her had reassured my frantic mind and I was able to calm down a bit.

I rolled my eyes and I was totally irritated when Leah decided to pay me a visit during the morning. She sat down across from me, giving me a hard glare. "So, you won the game." She said evenly.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I knew perfectly well she was referring to Saturday night at the bar when I had called her out to Maria. "It's not a game, Leah." I sighed.

"Sure it is." She shrugged and grinned mockingly. "The pussy chasing the mouse or in your case, the little bird." She mused, then paused and leaned forward in the chair while her dark eyes trained in on me entertained. "Has the little bird figured out if she wants to eat the pussy yet?" She leered and slowly brushed her fingertips against each other. I kept my composure, though anger was rushing through me. I couldn't accept her talking about Alice like she was a catch or just something to play with for a while.

This was Leah's way of luring victims into her web of sexual thrall. I was seeing her with different eyes now and it wasn't charming, not by a long shot. Knowing the difference between Alice's sweetness and Leah's hard edge the choice was a no-brainer. Leah didn't reach above Alice's tiny ankles. "How's Maria." I diverted.

"Very satisfied." She drawled arrogantly.

I leaned across the table and locked my eyes solidly on hers and smiled a bit. "So if you want to keep Maria that way, you will never talk about Alice that way again. Do you understand me? Or do you need me to flesh it out for you? My relationship with Alice is private and absolutely and in no way any of your concern."

Leah stared at me. "You're serious?" She mouthed with disbelief.

"As a heart attack." I countered without missing a beat. "Keep your damn mouth shut about my girlfriend and I won't tell Maria that you just made another pass at me." Leah gaped at me. "So yeah, I guess that I did win the game." I turned to my computer pulling up my email. "You can leave now, Leah." I said without even looking at her. I was done with her antics.

The only way of handing my raging emotions for Alice and my anger towards Leah was to drown them out with a heavy workload. I skipped lunch, because I didn't have an appetite and just stuck to coffee. I worked resolutely throughout the day leaving no time for my mind to wander.

"Can I come in?" Mr. Marcus asked when the light was dulling outside and the day was coming to an end.

"Sure." I said carefully as I was uncertain if it was a good thing your boss came calling at your office. Mr. Marcus hadn't done that before. "Is everything alright?"

"That is actually why I am here. I wanted to stress how important it is that Aro is impressed with our work."

"It's done, Sir." I said, almost cutting him off. He frowned at me. "Alice approved the final layout last week. I was about to head to the printers office to pick up the final proposal and drop it off personally." I knew that I sounded like a brown-noser, but I had my personal reasons for stopping by Alice's office today. I needed to see her.

Mr. Marcus nodded, keeping his dull eyes on mine. "Good. I'm impressed, Jasper." He didn't move from the chair across from my desk. He tapped his foot and gave me a bored look. "Is Leah giving you any trouble?"

My heart lurched to a halt. There was no way that he could know about us or our history. "No, none whatsoever." I smiled sweetly. "Why?"

He shrugged uninterested. "She just seems more grouchy than usually."

I snickered. "It's probably just… uh, lady business." I laced my hand over my mouth to hide my smirk.

Mr. Marcus barely raised a brow and sighed. "Okay. Keep up the good work." He praised and left the chair.

"Thank you, Sir." I mouthed to his back as he exited my office.

On the floor below at the printing department, I picked up the finished layout and the adhesive banner that I had made for her. Mr. Marcus didn't need to know I had used company time and resources on a little something for Alice. It wasn't much, but I hoped she would like it anyway.

The short stop on the subway seemed to take forever. I was anxious to see her. I hadn't been to her office before, but I hoped an unexpected visit was okay. I was nervous, hoping I wasn't imposing, but I was selfish and needy.

I filtered through the small offices looking for Alice's space or more descriptively, her studio. These were all small businesses that Aro invested in and where he assured his protégés would have the essential working space for them to flourish.

Soft tunes filtered out from one of the offices at the end of the hall where the glass walls were covered with drawings like wallpaper. A small, but hand-sketched sign adorned the open door with the name of _Mary A_.

I pushed the door open to find Alice leaned over a large table placed in the middle of the room. Her body was slung halfway over the tabletop trying to grasp some large pieces of paper. One ballerina shoe dangled off her foot, hanging onto her toes as she stretched as long as she was. I knocked softly trying not to startle her and leaned against the doorjamb.

Alice flinched and recoiled from the table. Turning, she smiled hugely when her eyes met mine. "I had a feeling that I'd see you." She beamed. It warmed my heart unspeakably to be greeted so warmly and with that gorgeous smile.

"Hi, beautiful." I said softly and stepped into her office. I glanced around and smiled as there was no doubt this place belonged to Alice. All the drawings that shielded the large windows were colorful and hand-sketched designs of hers.

Alice dumped the ruler and pencils on the table and locked her arms around me. I buried my face in her hair and hugged her body tight to mine in a much-needed embrace. Feeling her hug me back with the same level of affection was humbling. It alleviated all my tension to feel her warm body against mine. I realized the frustration that I thought yesterday had been sexual was anything but. It had nothing to do with sex. It was just a need to know that she was safe and mine. I splayed my fingers into her loose hair when her face was pressed against my neck. "I missed you today." I whispered. Alice hummed a bit and I felt her lips press softly to the base of my throat.

"Is something wrong? You seem sad, Jasper." She murmured, running her one hand down my back and goose bumps rose up my spine. Okay, so I was a little sexually frustrated, but it had nothing on the love that I felt for her.

"I'm fine." I said pulling back. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers, while running my tongue over her bottom lip. Her lips parted and we kissed gently for a moment. It wasn't lust spiked as usual, but more a chaste kiss of love. At least, it was like that for me. "I got something for you."

Alice eyes widened and she beamed her megawatt smile. I left the proposal on the table and unfolded the banner. She stared at it for a moment and gaped. "You made that for me?"

"I did, but the company paid. They just don't know it." I snickered. "You like it?" I asked nervously.

"No." She mused and frowned. "I love it." She mused enthusiastically and clapped her hands in a quick blur. I rolled my eyes at her. "Will you put it up on the door for me? It will fit perfectly."

"Of course." I said and gave her a brief kiss. "So what are you doing anyway?" I asked as I concentrated on sticking the banner onto the door evenly and centered.

"Pattern making." She sighed. "I can't afford paying anyone to do it, so that leaves me." She shrugged. "All my fabrics are arriving Thursday morning. I need to get this done by then."

"Okay." I said and stared at the messy table. I turned to the sketches on the wall. "I guess this is the collection." I said and pointed to the colorful drawings.

"Indeed." She radiated. She didn't hesitate starting to explain the designs, her idea and inspiration. I knew most of it as the logo layout had been done from those aesthetics, so it was nice to see the actual designs. Staring at them, I could certainly see the cohesive theme throughout the line. My girl was definitely talented and I was proud.

"Why the name _Mary A_?" I asked, as she never went by anything else but Alice.

She shrugged. "My grandmother used to call me that. I like the way the name flows. She died a few years back. Mary A reminds me of something gentle and kind, but yet powerful."

"Like you." I said softly gazing at her. To me, she might as well have been describing herself. She giggled and nudged my shoulder. "You want to grab some dinner?" I asked when our eyes met.

She sighed. "I would love to, but I really can't, Jasper." She paused and glanced at the papers on the table. "I really need to finish these patterns. I have two seamstresses lined up for next week and I need the fabric to be cut and ready by then."

"I see." I said trying to hide my disappointment, because I really wanted to spend the evening with her. "Anything I can do to help?"

"You wouldn't mind?" She frowned.

"Anything for you." I said softly, leaning in and kissing her neck gently once. Alice snickered sweetly.

"Anything?" She quirked a brow at me while a lustful smile spread across her face. I rolled my eyes at her. "I know, I know." She chanted. "Playing hard to get."

"Someone is not?" I countered snide, calling her out and glanced down her body. I just couldn't help myself. I took in her skirt and it wouldn't be much of an obstacle if I wanted to touch her.

Alice drew her hand over my ass feeling me up while biting down on her lip and humming. "I never said I was and I seem to remember you didn't mind that much Saturday night or Sunday morning." She leered at me. "But if I forget, will you remind me again how you handle curious girls like me?" she inclined her head and winked at me.

I laughed. "I'll remind you anytime you want." I whispered and stole a kiss. "But now you need to finish your work."

"Oh, right." She sighed and groaned. "Patterns. How much do you know about pattern making?" She turned to the table and started arranging papers.

"About as much as I know about being straight." I mumbled.

"Okay. Here's what you do." She began a long explanation about tracing the lines of the base pattern, transferring them to the new paper, adding seam allowance, then how to cut them out and remember the notches. I nodded feeling confident about how to do this. By my second attempt, Alice was pleased with how I was doing and left me to it.

She chatted for the most part while I concentrated on not screwing up her work. It was a huge relief to just be with her and not have to go home and be alone. I didn't need anything from her other than just spend time with her. It didn't matter to me what we were doing.

When a tangible silence lingered, I felt the startling urge to tell her how I really felt, but I couldn't get the words past my lips. It would mean the world to me to tell her that I loved her. Perhaps there was even the possibility she felt the same way? She never lead me to believe otherwise, but just coming right out and saying it was a major risk that I didn't dare take just yet.

Alice called Bella to let her know that she was working late and wouldn't be home until after she was asleep. I smiled, while rejoicing at how Alice took care of the people that she cared for.

I ended up spending three nights after work tracing patterns, not really minding the meticulous work once I got the hang of it. It was sort of thrilling to see the designs on the glass wall come to life on paper. Later, these patterns would be the foundation for the entire collection.

More importantly, I got to have Alice all to myself. I loved to hear her laugh and talk animatedly, to kiss her once in a while and have her arms around me when she would hug me unexpectedly. The expression '_It is all about the little things'_ certainly had meaning now. Just a look across the table could send my heart into a frantic motion, or a brush of her hand when it snug under my shirt made the need grow in my body. Most of all, it was her brave and not very subtle comments of attraction that made me feel warm.

Although it was amazing to experience this with her, it made me even more afraid. Realizing how much I loved her, made me fear losing her all the more. One obstacle we had yet to cross was that Alice hadn't touched me. I hadn't let her. I couldn't let go of my anxiety long enough to accept when she asked each night if I wanted to stay over at her place. Alice was far from subtle when we kissed. I felt her hunger radiate from her body. She didn't have the same restraints as me and was blunt about what she wanted. Though it was night and the floor of her office building was empty, I had stopped her when she had wanted to touch me. Saying no when she had pleaded seductively with me to let her touch me, had been one of the worst moments of my life. I hated letting Alice down and my body had never been so taut with hunger and need for relief. I ignored my own needs and pursued to fill hers instead when I couldn't ward her off with a simple no anymore. I really learned the benefit of a short skirt and tiny panties when she dared me to _'be handled'_ on that large table in her office. I couldn't resist.

oooooOOOOooooo

Friday I shut my computer off and slipped my feet into my shoes. I grabbed my coffee mug on my way out of the office and switched off the lights. I checked my phone and opened the message from Nettie. I was a little disappointed that it wasn't from Alice since I hadn't heard from her all day. She used to email or text at least once. She hadn't answered my text from hours ago.

_Come to the bar, I'm lonely and thirsty. Nettie _

I checked the time the message had ticked in, it was less than five minutes ago. I typed in a response that I was on my way. Disappointingly, I didn't have any other plans for the evening so far.

"Hey there." I mused cheerfully when I found Nettie located at the bar, chatting up the bartender.

"God, finally." She groaned and leaned over kissing my cheek. "Uh, where is that super sexy girlfriend of yours?"

"Working I suppose." I answered and ordered a beer, sitting down on the bar stool.

"You suppose? What? Trouble in paradise?" Nettie laughed.

"No." I said and took a swig of my beer when it was placed in front of me. I let the cold fluid quench my thirst. "Where's Maria?" I wondered as the two could usually be found together at this specific bar on a Friday afternoon for drinks.

"Who knows? Probably with her new sex toy. Jeez, you should hear the story that she tells me…"

I cut her off bluntly. "I'd rather not." I spat, trying not to choke on the beer. I had enough of Leah and I definitely didn't want to know anything about the pair of them.

"Oh right, you used to know her, right?" Nettie beamed looking all intrigued by the pending entanglements on the horizon.

"Emphasis on used to, but I work with her." I shrugged, trying to hide my grin. "She's my boss, you know."

Nettie squealed. "Jasper, you didn't. You're such slut. Sleeping your way to the top." She taunted.

"Whatever… it's not like I am doing it anymore. Besides Leah was just about getting needs met, nothing more." I took another drink.

"Interesting, how about that? Are you still holding out on that poor girl, Alice?" Nettie thrilled, expecting me to spill any dirty details about Alice and me. Well, in the past I hadn't exactly withheld information when Nettie or Maria had been probing about my sex life, nor had they with me, but with Alice it was different. It wasn't a laughing matter or something that I took lightly. It was private between us, almost sacred.

"It is different with her." I said quietly, hoping and praying that she wouldn't taunt me or tear me to shreds for being a sappy heartbroken freak with performance anxieties. "It is real with her. I don't want to fuck it up."

Nettie was quiet for about a minute, an insufferably long time for her chatty self. "You won't mess up, Jasper. If you want my advice, don't suffocate Alice with your fears, because I can see that you're scared shitless. I don't know much about her, but she's quite outgoing and resilient. Put some trust in her and jump off that cliff together."

I listened to my friend as she made perfect sense. I had told myself that too, but I was just too scared that I would lose her when she finally figured out her life.

My phone buzzed with another message. I was happy to see Alice's name on the display.

_I am leaving the office. Can I see you?_

I quickly typed my response, thrilled to finally hear from her.

"That her?" Nettie guessed and picked the olive out of her martini. She squashed it with her front teeth, smiling gleefully.

"Yeah, she is coming over. Is that okay?" I grinned, trying to control my exuberant mood change as I got to see Alice. Nettie stared at me.

"You really are in love with her." She said and her tone was full of wonder. "I mean like serious life commitment and no one else for you, in love with her."

I laughed gently. "It's worse, Nettie. I don't know how to function without her anymore. It's been four weeks since I met her and now I don't even remember what my life was like without her. It's so sad. I know." I shrugged and took another swig of my beer.

"No, Jasper. It's not sad. It is wonderful. The rest of us hope to experience that kind of love. You weren't even looking for it and it lands at your feet. You're so lucky."

I gritted my teeth at her upbeat, annoying, everything is so perfect, attitude. "Am I, Nettie? So what happens when Alice figures out that she's straight and doesn't want me? Am I lucky when she figures out that she's not into pussy at all?" I all but hissed at her.

Nettie gaped at me. "What? Are you kidding me? You think Alice is straight?"

"I am not saying that she is. I am saying she doesn't have that part figured out yet. I took a major fucking chance on her. I knew right from the start the chances of Alice and me working out were a one hell of a long shot. So far it is going great, but there are no guaranties, definitely not with a girl who is basically inexperienced." I glared at Nettie as she was grating my nerves. If I did lose Alice, I wouldn't mend like her and wouldn't be on to my next crush the following weekend. I would be devastated.

"Is that why you haven't slept with her? Because you think she will dump you when you have?" She gaped at me.

"Basically, yes." I admitted shamefaced.

"Jasper, if you keep this up you _are_ going to lose her. Let her in and not only halfway. You're an idiot if you keep someone that cute and lovable at arm's length because are afraid of a commitment that you basically want. Give her a chance." Nettie argued back.

I sighed. Seeing no way of winning this argument because my point was irrational fear and probably had no merit, I gave up. "Can we just drop this?" I finished, not wanting this to blow into a full on squabble.

"Whatever you say, Jasper." Nettie humored me. I knew that. She wasn't shy to meddle, but she also knew when to pull back.

Alice's shoulders seemed frail and broken when she pushed the heavy brass door to the bar open minutes later. There was something about her that had shattered and defeated written all over her. It tore me up, because my girl was happy and lively, witty and vivacious. The girl walking through the doors was none of those things. I followed her with my eyes as she filtered through the throng of people to where I was sitting.

"What happened?" I implored when she literally fell into my body and snuggled into my neck and gave a quiet sob. She just shook her head against my throat.

"I missed you so much today. I had the worst day ever and I needed to see a friendly face." Her arms locked around my waist. I was taken aback and fretful while my heart pulsated violently in my chest.

"What's wrong, baby." I whispered, brushing my fingers down her hair. When she pulled back, her eyes glassed over with tears and she snorted.

"My collection. It can't be finished." She murmured. "All the fabrics for the clothes are gone."

"What do you mean that they're gone?" I frowned.

"I ordered them in Paris months ago and they were supposed to be delivered yesterday morning by UPS. They didn't arrive and they told me today that the delivery truck was stolen and so were my fabrics. I was just waiting for them to arrive." She murmured. I skimmed my fingers down her cheek. I was heartbroken that her life's work was failing. This week, I had seen how hard she worked because I had been with her most nights.

"You can't buy more?" I asked, knowing how lame I sounded. If that really was an option, there was no way Alice would be this heavy hearted. She would have fixed the problem by now. She wouldn't be standing in a bar with tears almost running down her face.

She shook her head. "That will take months. They were especially made with my prints and designs. The supplier will have to start all over. I don't have time for that nor do I have the money." She snorted. "I don't want to think about it anymore. I tried to work something out all day and it has all been for nothing."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked softly.

Alice nodded a little and leaned in for a gentle kiss. She pulled back, gazing at me with those broken and sad eyes. "Stay over at my place." She hesitated. "Just stay with me tonight. I don't want to be alone." She murmured and leaned her forehead to my shoulder. "Just please, Jasper."

I swallowed convulsively, feeling anxiety rise within me. Staying with her through the night would leave me even more exposed and more vulnerable to having my heart broken. I caught Nettie's eye over Alice's shoulder. There was no doubt what she thought about the whole situation. In her opinion, it was a given that I accepted. "Okay." I hesitated. "I just need to pick up a few things from my place. What will Bella say to this?" I asked apprehensively, but there was no way in hell that I could say no to her when she was this upset. I wanted to be there to comfort her the best that I could. That was what a girlfriend was supposed to do, and not wallow in self-pity and ridiculous anxieties. It was what I wanted to do. Even though, I knew I was putting myself even more at risk.

"She's fine. She is actually wondering why you haven't stayed over." Alice said, laying it on thickly that she was pondering the very same thing. I was still worried it would be hard for Bella to accept our relationship, so I avoided answering.

I cradled her face and pressed my lips to hers. "We'll figure something out about the collection. How about we go pick up what I need from home, order some food and go to your place?"

Alice placed her arms around my neck and leaned her forehead to mine. "Sounds perfect." She whispered.

Alice was so quiet beside me and all the way to my place. She was silent ordering food and until we arrived at her place. I didn't feel a distance to her, quite the opposite as she kept her hand in mine all the time. There was a physical presence of her through it all.

Bella was worried and sad when Alice told her what had happened. We had dinner and Alice cheered up a bit. I was ecstatic to see her small smile once in a while. We watched some TV and Alice curled up by my side. I was apprehensive about letting her snuggle up to me, but she wasn't having the distance. I worried Bella would have a problem with us being close, as she kept glancing over at us. Her face was unreadable whenever she did. Bella went to bed, when she started nodding off lying on the couch.

I went to brush my teeth and started getting ready for bed when the time passed midnight. I was surprisingly comfortable in Alice surroundings. I smiled every time I noticed something that I knew would belong to her. I twirled the red nail polish bottle in my hand knowing it wouldn't belong to Bella. I set it back down on the sink and went to Alice's room.

She was sitting on her bed with her head stuck in the book that I had given her a few weeks ago. The light was soft and warm from the candles. She had lit a few on a shelf and two more sitting on the windowsill. I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping to bury the anxious feelings brewing inside of me at the intimate setting. I wasn't sure if it meant anything, but it could also mean everything.

Alice glanced up and placed the book beside her. She was still fully clothed and I was glad she had not decided to surprise me with some sort of French attire consisting of only lace. That would have made me go into a full on panic attack.

Alice brushed her fingers down my cheek and traced her thumb underneath my jaw. "Relax, Jasper. I'll be a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable." She ordered softly.

I decided to follow instructions and changed into my usual sleepwear, consisting of a singlet and a pair of black cotton shorts. I sat down on the wide windowsill and focused on relaxing. I pulled on the elastic ponytail holder out and let my hair down, slipping the band on my wrist. The chill from the window cooled my arm and I shuddered slightly. "Are you sure it is okay I'm staying over?" I asked minutes later when Alice was back from the bathroom.

"I'm sure. Bella won't mind. She keeps begging me to have a life." She smiled.

Alice stripped out of her top and I couldn't help appreciate the delicate lacy bra. It looked nice and gave her a cleavage that men would die to bury their crude faces in. Just so happened they couldn't, since I was the only one officially allowed to bury my face in her chest. I was glad that she was so at ease. It made me more comfortable.

"You like what you see?" Alice chuckled when she caught me staring.

"Absolutely." I answered shamelessly. She smiled pleased and bent down to pull her socks off. I watched as her stomach rippled charmingly.

"You should see the panties then." She lured playfully. I was glad to see the bubbly person that she was sneak through her sadness.

I turned on the sill letting my legs dangle off the ledge. I kept watching her as she fiddled around her room. She pulled the rings from her fingers, unclasped her necklace dumping it on the dresser. Later, she smeared a small portion of lotion between her hands and applying it to her face. She caught me staring at her again and her eyes twinkled. She smiled lustfully and warmth spread in my belly. Blood rushed south as she sashayed toward me and straddled my lap. I couldn't control how my body reacted to her, but I knew this was it. Whatever premeditated move she had planned, she would play her card now.

Her warm mouth eagerly found mine and soon her wet tongue slipped across my lip. I parted them and let her invade my mouth. She tasted fresh and clean. I moaned into her mouth. Her dainty fingers began fiddling with the hem of my shirt. I just wanted to give into her, but I just couldn't let her take it off.

I pulled back from her mouth. Her lips were swollen with desire. Her breathing was already heavy and feathering persuasively across my face. I dropped my eyes to the graceful lacy bra and drew a finger between her breasts. She sighed and arched her chest into my hand. Alice was passionate for someone so inexperienced and I loved it. I watched her as I cradled her beautiful and soft breast and she sighed content. The tip puckered into my palm. I pulled back slightly and lowered my face. I skimmed the hard bud with my teeth over her bra and she moaned. The sound went straight to my core, making it pulsate.

Alice's fingers twined into my hair and pushed her breasts willingly against my face. I kept nibbling, licking her soft skin, and caressing the flesh right at my mouth. Alice kept rubbing the apex of her thighs against my hips. She wanted this to escalate, no doubt. I could feel the warmth of her thighs and pussy against my bare legs.

I slipped my arm around her slim waist and snapped her bra open. Slowly, I peeled the straps down her shoulders, kissing her along the collarbone. I pulled the flimsy fabric back, freeing her skin. Her breasts were perky and her nipples rosy.

She peered down at me. Her eyes were penetrating and wanting. "Please, Jasper. I want you so much. I want to make love." She whispered. I already knew she would say that. I sighed and rested my head against her bare shoulder. I was afraid to answer. "Jasper, look at me." She said softly. Gentle hands cradled my face and pulled it up to hers. "What are you afraid of?" It was weird how she could read me. It was all about her hunches and they were always right on the money. In so little time, she knew me so well. I never wanted to be anything but to be honest with her. "Tell me, Jasper." She begged.

I kissed her softly, our lips playing delicately. "I'm afraid if we do this... When we go all the way, you are going to figure out that this isn't for you after all." I tucked her lower lip between my teeth. "I'm afraid that you are gonna want something different than a woman."

She reciprocated and graced my upper lip with her teeth. "Don't you get it, Jasper? I might have been with men, but I also know how it feels to be with you. With you, it doesn't matter. Nothing compares to being with you. It is you that I want." She hesitated, her eye wide with fear, swimming with emotion. "I love you, Jasper. I've fallen in love you and I want to show you." She swallowed. "I love everything about you. You're the gentlest person that ever existed. You're warm and caring. You're smart and giving. You're everything to me."

I stared back. My eyes were brimming with moisture, threatening to spill over with tears. My heart swelled in my chest and I could hardly breathe. This is exactly what I wanted to tell her. I smiled. She was always so much braver than me. "You're the love of my life, Alice." I breathed. "You're it for me. I love you too." Through the turmoil inside of my body, it was so easy saying those words to her because it was exactly how I felt and every ounce of it paralyzed me with its depth. Alice was _everything _to me too.

With her thumb, she softly wiped the one tear that was spilling and put it between her lips. "Salty." She whispered.

I smiled back, knowing that I couldn't refuse her again. I wanted this as much as she did. Fear or no fear, I wanted to consume every part of her and I wanted her to consume me. Her lips were on mine before I was able to answer her. "Okay." I whispered into her mouth.

oooooOOOOooooo

**So… er yeah, I guess most of you can figure out what is going to happen next. You will just have to wait until next Friday.**

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_

**I had a One Shot featured on the 9****th**** of Feb with Dirty Cheeky Monkeys - Squeeze my Lemon, called **_**Happy Birthday, My Love**_**. It is hot and sultry, mixed in with a lot of other naughty stuff. I added it to my own site. Check it out if you dare.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**So… er yeah, there really is no excuse for this. So if you are under age, DO NOT READ.**

**Warning NC – 17 for sexual contents to this chapter. **

**Thanks for your comments and for adding me to your alerts. I love reading them and I always respond. I hope to see more of you speak up soon.**

**To the rest of you. Smut it is and I hope you enjoy Jasper finally letting go!**

oooooOOOOooooo

**The Fourth Weekend**

Slowly, her eyes opened and her lips stilled against mine. We stared at each other for a long time and time stood still. She clambered off my lap and pulled me up by the hand. I raised my arms and let her slowly peel my top off. Her blue eyes were wide as ever when I gave my permission. I was slightly nervous, but so was she. Excitement was rushing through my body. It wasn't just lust, but suddenly I realized that I didn't need to cling to my fear anymore. It was irrational.

"Don't be scared, beautiful Alice." I murmured and skimmed the tips of my fingers across her suddenly trembling lower lip. "You know how to do this." I hoped to encourage her, because I knew that she was afraid of not being good enough. I knew her worries were completely irrational and I had no doubt in my heart that she would be amazing. I just wished she knew that too.

"Okay." She breathed. "Don't let me panic, Jasper. I will at some point." She smiled sheepishly.

I pushed my fingers into her soft loose hair and pressed my lips to hers, but I didn't answer. Though, she might be concerned about touching me, her kiss was confident as ever. I brushed my fingers down to her waist and found the closing of her pants. I opened the button and dragged the zipper down pushing them off her hips.

Minutes later we were on the bed and Alice was hovering above me. Her eyes were on fire with love and need. It was like her eyes were windows to her soul, displaying every emotion that she was feeling. Slipping the ponytail holder from my wrist, I pushed my fingers through her long hair that fell in front of her face and tied her hair back messily. "I need to see you." I murmured. I needed to be able to see her eyes clearly, to watch her emotions rush through them. They would reveal when anything was making her uncomfortable.

Alice's warm mouth met mine again and she kissed me slowly. She leaned down closer and her warm torso rested on mine. I loved her skin and breasts pressing against me. Her leg tangled in between mine, while her thigh grinded into my crotch.

She pulled back slightly as she delicately drew her hand up my side to my chest. A little apprehensively she brushed her fingers across my chest, before her entire palm connected with my skin and caressed me tenderly. She ducked to my neck and kissed my skin. I closed my eyes and let the passion wash over me. This was her show. I wanted to give her time and let her explore what she was curious about. Alice skillfully ran her tongue over my skin, tantalizingly slow working her way down my chest. As she touched me, I began to realize how deeply starved my body was for her. My stomach and core were already a taut string ready to snap. My toes curled, my breath hitched and changed into an unsubtle moan, when Alice swirled her tongue around one of my nipples. I clenched my jaw hard when she grazed her teeth over the hard tip. It felt incredible to have someone I loved work her mouth over my body. It was a strange new and overwhelming experience.

This was the first time that we both had so much skin exposed and I rejoiced the feeling of her body level against mine. I ran my hands down over her back, down to the swell of her silky behind. She shuddered lightly and I could feel goose bumps rise as I stroked her skin. I grabbed the cover discarded to the side and pulled it over us in case she was cold.

Alice's mouth found mine and the intensity between us grew. Our kissing became frantic and wanting as hands touched and played over almost naked bodies. It was torturous how wonderfully skilled and loving her hands and mouth were. How could she not know this about herself?

"Show me how you like to be touched." She whispered between deep breaths. Her hand had been hovering around my waist for a while. I knew she wanted to slip her hand further down, but I wanted her to do it at her own pace. I was impatient to be touched and teased, but a few more minutes wouldn't hurt me. I locked eyes with her, loving that she was brave enough to ask for help, but still stunned by her boldness.

She was lying slightly over my side, wayward chunks of dark hair falling from the slack ponytail. She was mesmerizing when I looked at her. I gently placed my palm against the back of her hand. Her face was just an inch from mine when she let me guide her hand further south. I lifted my knee up and slightly outwards when our hands drew under the waistband of my shorts. Alice kept her eyes on mine as she held her breath. I drew her fingers gently over the outside of my sex, giving her time to adjust. I wasn't sure what she expected or if it would scare her that my skin was clean and free of hairs. She skated her tongue across her teeth. I took a gentle bite of her lower lip while grazing my teeth against it. I pressed on her middle finger letting it slip a little deeper and hit my clit. My breath hitched at her touch. It was excruciatingly sensitive and pulsating with need.

Alice beamed a tiny victorious smile and her breath feathered across my face. "You feel so warm… and wet." She breathed.

I kissed her softly. "I know." I murmured as I directed her to add pressure rubbing me. I felt the moisture from my arousal cover our fingers. I sighed and located the tingle running up my spine when Alice did as instructed. I wasn't exactly sure why, but showing Alice how to touch a female sex for the first time was one of the most erotic things that I had ever experienced. I pulled my hand back slightly, letting solely her touch me. Her fingers were assertive and determined when she kept running them over the slippery wetness. I couldn't hold back my pleasured noises. I just let myself slip deeper into the desire and just felt her hands on me.

With my hand clear of my shorts, I began feeling the delicious pending release build slowly. I trailed my thumb across the tip of my middle finger. Alice wanted to feel this. She wanted us to be as close as possible. I would make sure that she got the best possible experience for her first time. The only way to do that was to give into her with everything I had. The more I let go of my fear and succumbed to my own need and desire, the more she would gain. It was all about her tonight.

Alice and I were still gazing at each other as she was exploring my body. I pulled my hand up and pressed my wet middle finger to her lip. "Taste." I ordered softly. Her breath hitched, but she didn't hesitate to bring my finger into her mouth and suck. I savored the feeling of her wet mouth closed around my skin, tasting me. "Good girl." I moaned as her hand working in my shorts added more pressure. It was making me delirious. She leaned down and kissed me, slipping her tongue against mine. When she pulled back, her curious eyes raked down my body and her hand stopped moving. "Go ahead." I whispered and lifted my ass off the bed knowing what she wanted. She smiled quietly, pulled back her hand and started to slide my shorts down my legs. She sat back on her knees and slowly coiled her fingers into my panties. I lifted my pelvis once more giving her the opportunity to remove them as well. The fabric tickled as she slipped them down slowly down my legs. Splayed naked on her bed, Alice was positioned on her knees, sitting still between my legs on the bed. She stared down at my body like it was a complicated mathematical puzzle that she needed to solve, but she had no clue to start. I was too late realizing what was really going on since I couldn't see her eyes properly. Her hands were limp at her sides with her fingers trembling. I reacted as fast as I could.

I got to my knees in front of her and she just kept that unmoving look in her eyes. "Alice." I whispered. Trying to keep calm, though I knew what was happening to her. Violent panic had set in, just as she expected. I pressed her body to mine, hugging her closely, letting her feel the warmth from me. In her chest, I could feel the ferocious pumping of her heart. "Breathe, Alice. It's just me." I looked deeply into her eyes. They were wide with fright. She nodded a little and I stroked her hair. I pressed my lips to hers, lingering until she finally reciprocated. I ran my hands down her arms as I kept kissing her mouth. Her lips began to relax. "Don't panic, baby. You're doing so good." I murmured. She had asked me not to let her panic and deep down, I knew she would be angry with me if I stopped her. She wouldn't want me to let her back down. Alice wanted this so I didn't hold back, but pushed her forward instead. "Just relax, baby." I whispered removing my mouth from hers. "It is just me touching you." I breathed against her skin and trailed my mouth down her neck. I started working my hands over her body, feeling her muscles soften and she started to melt sinuously against me. "Feel this." I skimmed my fingers over panties and her breath deepened. I took one of her limp hands and put it on my back where the tips of her fingers slowly began to stroke my skin. I kissed my way down over her collarbone letting my mouth pay attention to her breasts. I brought her perfectly peaked tip into my mouth suckling. She moaned and leaned her head back. "You like this?" I grazed my teeth against her skin in a gentle bite.

"Oh, yes." She whimpered and her body completely melted against mine to my great relief. I linked my fingers into the sides of her panties tugging them down. I listened attentively to the sound of her growing and labored breaths, making sure she was okay and still aroused. I drew my fingers gently over her pussy, feeling juices leaking onto my fingers. The heat of her lips radiated against my hand.

Her hands grew confident again, moving down my back to my behind, running her palms lithely over me. Slipping them back up, I pulled back from her chest and found her face. Her fingers twined into my hair and she pulled my mouth to hers. Her tongue passionately invaded my mouth and desire started dripping like water from her body.

I moaned into her mouth, feeling overwhelmed that the pending crisis was evaded this easily. Her mouth moved warm and wet down over my neck. "That feels so good." I murmured. She pulled back, gazing at me with those big blue and sparkling eyes. I brushed my fingers across her swollen lips. When she parted them, I brought my middle finger into her mouth where she sucked it rather lustfully. "There's my curious girl." I whispered enjoying her mouth enveloping my finger. She smiled and bit down gently before she released my hand. She smirked at me and I loved her confidence was back. "I want you so much." I whispered. "I want that sweet mouth of yours on me." I hoped to give her yet a boost of confidence.

She leaned closer while merging her lips with mine. Suddenly, I felt my body being pushed backwards onto the bed again. I almost gaped at her, when I felt her take charge. Every cell of my starved body celebrated Alice overcoming her fear. Her hands were on my body, leaving no spot unattended to. Her naked limbs slipped against mine and we kissed frantically.

Her fingers drew down between my legs and I groaned when they came in contact with my clit. "Yes." I groaned while relishing the fact that she was controlling the situation. This was my girl. I enjoyed letting her explore what she wanted to find. The fact that I loved her and my body hungered for her touch, made anything else I had experienced fade in comparison to being with Alice. It was intense to give into her knowing this was how she felt too. This wasn't just another casual affair. We might even have a future together.

Her fingers slipped easily over my slick and sensitive core. I knew I was drenched and seeping juices all over her hand, but I couldn't help it. I whined when her hand lost contact with me. My release was building rapidly and I was completely wanton. Her hand skimmed up my side, before she suddenly straddled my waist. She pinned me down with her body and I felt the heat and wetness of her pussy press against my stomach. She laced her fingers into mine and locked my hands over my head, leaning down with her weight on me. I was trapped and completely in her thrall. Her mouth was furious and passionate against mine as we kissed. I couldn't believe this was the same girl who went into to a full-blown panic attack just ten minutes ago.

She pulled back for a short second, panting. "You're sweating." She smiled gently.

"You're incredible." I reciprocated and pushed my head up to feel her lips again. Alice pulled back averting my attack while holding me down.

"I want to taste you. Really taste you." She whispered, raking her teeth over her deep red lip. I squirmed underneath her, as the thought of her mouth on me was undeniably erotic and more than I ever dared to hope for.

"I want you to." I breathed without hesitation. "God, please, Alice." I begged. With a hint of apprehension, she leaned down and played her lips over mine again. "Don't think about it. You know how to do this." I whispered when she ducked her head into the base of my neck. "Just follow your instincts and it will be fine." I murmured privately into her ear. I traced my tongue over her earlobe and I felt her shudder with pleasure. Her breath skated over my collarbone and her warm mouth started working over my hungering body. Tantalizingly slow, she moved south leaving me burning and longing. I clenched my teeth hard not to cry out when her wet mouth finally touched my sex. It felt like an eternity of sensual torture when she kissed her way down my body, running her tongue over every single scar. Very carefully and teasingly slow she drew her tongue up the length of my sex. Never in my life had I been this strung out or aroused. It was unbearable waiting for my building release, especially when Alice seemed to take her sweet time provoking me. I had to find a patience that I never had to rely on before. This was her first time and she was in control. All I could do was lie back and deal with this bodily anguish.

With a remarkably firm hand, she pushed my one leg outwards giving her the space she wanted. She glanced up at me, watching me mischievously when I felt her push her fingers inside of me. I groaned and realized I wasn't the only one liking this. I would bet everything I owned that Alice truly enjoyed eating pussy. I tilted my head back against the pillow and her warm mouth enveloped my sex and she consumed me. I locked my fingers onto the wrought iron bars of her headboard letting Alice work me into a frenzy. It didn't take long for her talented mouth to make my orgasm ride up on me like a freight train. I exploded into an overpowering pleasure. I tried to mute my sounds, but it was simply impossible when my body convulsed.

Alice started to work her way up my body while I rode out my pleasure. It was intense and my head was buzzing with the intensity of the sensation that Alice had supplied. She barely drew the tip of her tongue between my breasts, but it tickled and added to the tingling running from my toes to my fingertips. She curled her body to mine, letting us melt together. I wrapped my arms around her and she snuggled closer into my neck. "You taste like the ocean." She said quietly.

"The ocean?" I murmured surprised as my heart rate slowly subsided.

"Mmm… fresh, clean and weightless." She giggled. "I like it."

Gradually, I trailed my fingers up her spine. "Glad to hear it." I smiled. Alice squirmed against me when my thigh slipped between her legs and I snuggled into every female curve of her body. A slick wetness transferred to my leg. Goose bumps rose up her stomach and her nipples puckered. My own satisfaction faded suddenly when she was lying here beside me far from sated. I rolled her to her back.

"What are you doing?" She giggled.

I smirked at her, letting my thigh rub firmly against her pussy. She whimpered and writhed her body longingly. "Now it's my turn to take a dip into the ocean." I murmured and Alice let out a shaky wanting moan.

oooooOOOOooooo

I brushed my finger across her swollen plump lip. I leaned in and placed the softest kiss that I could on her lips while trying not to disturb her. Alice had fallen asleep almost immediately after we stopped making love. I didn't dare to wake her. I had never seen anyone so peaceful as her when she slept. She was a quiet sleeper. She didn't mumble or snore. She didn't toss and turn, but she was so still and serene. I inhaled her delicious scent and picked up a slight hint of myself on her mouth. Her skin smelled like love and sex, passion and perspiration. Making love with her, having her touch me had been startling. It had been slow and tender, but still so filled with passion that it was crippling. It had been everything to me. It had been perfect and just right for us. Being with Alice had been pure ecstasy, at least for me. I had never experienced anything so satisfying as physically expressing my love and receiving hers, especially after declaring that we loved each other. I knew with every certainty in this world I was in this for life with her.

Alice breathed deeply and sighed when I pulled my lips from hers. I snug out of bed and glanced at the time. It was just after three in the morning and she had been sleeping for the past one and a half hour while I had been lying here looking at her. Her cheeks were rosy and beautiful and her chest was slightly flushed. It was impressive that the flattering pinkish color of an orgasm lingered on her skin for so long.

I put on my shorts and a singlet, but didn't bother with anything else. I slipped out of the room, reluctantly needing a short trip to the bathroom. I sneaked through the dark living room. I choked back a scream when I was startled by Bella staring at me sitting on the couch, spoon hanging midair.

"Holy shit!" I choked out.

"I was hungry." She shrugged and smiled chagrinned like I was catching her with her hand down the cookie jar.

I smiled but chewed the inside of my cheek and threw a glance down my body. I was practically wearing nothing, but I hadn't exactly expected anyone to be up at this hour. "I'm indecent. I'm so sorry." I mumbled, feeling shame and discomfort wash over me.

Bella shoved the spoon in her mouth, chewed and swallowed the cereal. "I live with Alice." She smiled. "I'm sort of used to… exposure." She pointed to me with the spoon. "And that is not indecent exposure. Trust me. I have seen more of Alice than I care to." She paused. "Can't sleep?"

"Not really." I answered and started moving toward the bathroom quickly. I closed the door quietly and did my business. Bella was in the kitchen rinsing her bowl when I decided to snatch a glass of water. "Can I ask you something, Bella?"

"Sure." She leisurely took the hair band from around her wrist and threw her long dark hair into a long sloppy ponytail.

"Do you mind me being here, I mean, spending the night?" I asked quietly.

"No." She paused and glanced at me with her soft brown eyes. "I gave you that impression, didn't I?"

"Not at all. But I just learned with time to be careful with this sort of thing. Alice loves you a lot and I don't want to be a wedge in your friendship."

She smiled gently and tapped her chewed nail against the countertop. "You're not. Alice is quite her own person. I know there is room in her life for both of us. I'm just glad that she finally has a life instead of hanging around here with me all the time. Just because my life is a mess and utterly boring, it shouldn't mean hers needs to be too."

I sipped the water. "Were you surprised? I mean, Alice said you saw us kissing a few weeks ago."

"To see you two kissing. Hell yes! But her falling in love with you, I am not so surprised."

"Why not?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Looking at you with her, it hurts to watch you." She bit her lip and moisture pooled in her eyes. "I know everything between you is so new, but it doesn't mean it isn't real or that people can't see the depth of your feelings. I see it and I believe you do too."

I nodded. "I do." I answered quietly, while stunned that Bella was seeing perfectly clear what I was feeling.

"Goodnight, Jasper." She said quietly, smiled and wiped the tear. Though Alice and I might be happy, Bella was in a lot of pain.

Back in Alice's room, I stripped and slipped back into bed. Her breathing was still so quiet. I ran my fingers over her hair a few times. I snuggled my face into the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. "Please stay mine." I whispered.

I closed my eyes, but I still wasn't able to sleep. My mind was sprinting like something out of a drag race and I couldn't slow it down. It was all my emotions that were whipped into a blizzard inside of me. Fear. Love. Worry. Exhaustion. Hope. Devotion. Adoration. To put it simply, I was floored by this amazing woman by my side.

Alice stirred. "Why aren't you sleeping?" She asked. Her voice cracked and she stared at me lovingly. "Have you been awake this entire time?" I simply nodded and ran my fingers over her hair for the millionth time. I couldn't speak. I was paralyzed by the storm roaring inside of me. My eyes started to moisten. "What's wrong, Jasper?" She whispered, her beautiful eyes piercing through mine, reading me. "You're scared." She stated, not asking.

Never in my life had I felt so vulnerable as I did with her. I was a pretty self-sufficient person, but I was exposed and defenseless with Alice. She could tear me apart with a few words. "I'm petrified." I croaked, feeling devastation wash over me.

"Oh, Jasper." She murmured. Alice shushed me, pulled my close to her and cradled my face in her arms. Her body was warm and flush against mine, giving me all the comfort that I ever needed. I didn't go into a full-on panic attack luckily, but feeling her warmth and comfort helped me to finally feel safe and get some sleep. It was six in the morning

My eyelids were crusty and thick when I awoke. I knew I had cried in my sleep, that rough and sandy feeling from my eye couldn't all just be from a few tears. I reached out for Alice only to find that the bed was empty. I groaned and pulled the sheets to my face feeling slightly embarrassed for my juvenile behavior during the night.

"Alice, clothes!" I heard Bella yell from the living room.

"Finally." Alice beamed when she literally slammed the door behind her, clearly ignoring Bella. I winced and glanced at the clock. It was ten thirty. I had been sleeping for hours.

Her hair was wet and drops of water rolled down her collarbone. I noticed she had bothered to put on panties after her shower. For once, a pair that wasn't skimpy and probably overpriced compared to the lack of material. They were still sexy as hell, though. Taking in her attire, I laughed under my breath, as I understood what Bella had meant about indecent exposure. Alice had no shame.

She bounced into the bed and settled next to me. Her wet hair soaked the pillowcase. "You're in a better mood." I said and smiled. She crawled closer to me, but we weren't quiet touching.

"Some, but I am still completely depressed about the fabrics." She paused and stared at me worried. "How are you feeling?"

I chewed my cheek ashamed. "Better." I murmured. "I'm sorry about waking you."

"Don't, Jasper. You've never been more beautiful." She whispered, suddenly intense. Her tongue peeked out, slipping across the edge of her teeth. Her breath skated from her mouth slowly. She smelled minty. "About last night… er, was that okay… for you?"

A victorious smile pulled at my lips. "After those embarrassing tears in the middle of the night, do you even have to ask?" I said playfully.

"I guess not." She murmured, trying to hide her conquering smirk. I leaned closer and pressed my lips to hers. Just kissing her wasn't enough right now.

"You were absolutely incredible." I whispered. Wanting her closer, I grasped her waist, pulling her to me. She giggled against my lips shortly.

"Why don't you have morning breath?" She asked and squirmed her body against mine.

"Don't I?" I snaked my tongue across her bottom lip, pressing my mouth to hers more demandingly.

"No." She sighed and parted her lips letting me invade her mouth mingling her tongue with mine. I groaned feeling warmth spread throughout my body. I wanted her again. I needed to feel her soft skin and smell the alluring scent of desire and arousal on her body. Urgently, I raked my hand down to her ass, further around to her thigh. She sighed into my mouth kissing me back. My hand slipped further up towards her crotch when she suddenly pulled away from me. "Uh, Jasper…"

I tore my mouth from her, staring down at her distraught. This was exactly what I feared. All my torment and anguish about her finding out that this wasn't for her crashed down on me this very moment. Alice didn't want this. My heart stopped in my chest and my brain stopped functioning. Alice rolled her eyes at me, like I was being the most ridiculous person alive, but she had pulled away from me. "You don't want me to touch you." I muttered, not really asking when I was finally able to speak through my despair.

Alice sighed exasperated. "Jeez, talk about overreacting. Would you stop being so paranoid and let me finish? If you would listen to me, I was going to tell you that I got my period this morning, so you groping down my panties might not be the smartest thing right now." She basically mocked me. "You have got to stop this infuriating idea of yours that I am going to change my mind, because I am not."

I sank my head into the down pillow and groaned. Adrenaline that has been so harshly released into my system made my temples pump wildly. Alice ran her hand up my back and down again as her fingers turned and she gently scraped her nails against my skin. The feeling was exquisite and made goose bumps rise up my spine. I let out a soft moan. Her hand found my shoulder pulling me away from the pillow. Her lips started at my neck, kissing, nibbling when her palm folded over my naked chest, kneading. "That doesn't mean I can't touch you. I have so much to learn." Her breath was warm and deepening when she breathed against my cheek. Her mouth found mine and I slumped to my back. She was as brave as ever and not letting my absurd panic defeat her.

Alice was a fast learner, as it didn't take long for her to make me the one squirming against her, practically begging to be touched. With her mouth, she caressed me, kissed my breasts, suckled and bit every part of exposed skin. All that was left for me to do was lay back and just enjoy her slow, passionate, almost tortures brushes on me. As she ran her hand up my thigh, I felt like I was about to explode even though she still hadn't touched me there. I longed to feel her delicate fingers on me. I tried to not literally mewl when I felt her fingers as she started to rub me. The fact of the matter was I was completely wanton and considerably louder than Alice. It had been established last night, but I just couldn't help it.

"Oh god." I whispered as heat rushed through my body. "Alice." I mumbled disjointedly as my head whirled deliriously. The delicious caressing of my clit continued followed by a painfully slow motion of fingers being pushed inside of me. She was teasingly careful, but yet so confident. Alice knew exactly what she was doing to me.

"Feel this, Jasper!" She whispered fiercely an inch from my face. "This is me touching you. This is me not ever changing my mind about wanting you." She rubbed harder, bringing me closer to my impending orgasm. "Feel this, this is me loving you." Her last words were my undoing. The warmth exploded in my stomach and I couldn't help by cry out without thinking. My muscles locked and the most incredible and delicate sensation washed over me as I unfolded.

"How was that?" She smirked when I was returning to earth from unraveling.

"Amazing." I croaked. Her finger grazed my clit too roughly and I winched, curling my legs up.

"Careful." I admonished gently, knowing I could hardly be touched when having this intense an experience.

"Sensitive." Alice murmured, almost pleased. I glanced lazily into her eyes. They were those huge orbs of my "_curious, I want to know everything,"_ girl. I nodded briefly, intrigued why she was staring at me with those hooded wanting eyes.

Slowly the sheet was dragged from my body and she kissed my stomach. She brushed her fingers just over my shaved skin. She lowered her head and kissed the spot she had just touched. "Why do you shave?" Alice asked quietly.

"I prefer it that way. It makes me more sensitive." I murmured. Alice didn't look at me when I answered, but kept her inquisitive gaze on her fingers as she carefully ran them over the outside of my sex. She sat beside me and hiked my leg up, then softly raked her nails against my thigh. I groaned. She was a natural, a slow torturous natural at making me fall apart under her spell. I could feel myself swelling and the blood in my body changed direction and settling between my legs once more.

"How sensitive?" She breathed silkily. I stared down at her when she decisively moved her head in between my legs. She paused for a moment, before making her tongue connect with my clit. Her mouth was so warm and giving when she touched me.

"Oh." I gasped trying not to buck my hips towards her face. The sensation was too short and she pulled back from me. I groaned, instantly missing the warmth of her mouth.

"It wouldn't take me long to make you cum, would it?" She whispered and lifted her eyes to mine. They were wild, wanting and filled with desire, practically sparkling with need. There was nothing holding her back. She didn't need to be guided learning any of this stuff. She already knew everything she needed to know.

"No." I panted, feeling my arousal rise higher from watching that feral needy gaze. She pursed her lips and let her breath feather pointedly across the apex of my thigh. I never thought I would see the day, but it did arise. "Please, Alice." I begged. I honestly begged for her to give me more and I normally never ever begged. I was too far-gone to be subtle or respectful. I needed for her to put me out of my misery. "Please make me cum." I breathed.

"When you ask so nicely." She smiled exultantly. The instant her warm mouth connected with my flesh the pleasure shot though me so intensely I lost it. She barely touched me and the tickling from deep within my stomach sprang into a full-blown explosion. I cried out loudly, convulsing. I felt her small hand clasped over my mouth quickly, working as a muffle.

"Keep your voice down." She scolded sternly, but her voice as she hovered above me was elated. Her eyes were playful and still untamed with need. "Bella will hear you." She admonished.

I didn't care. I didn't give a shit because I had lost all sanity. I locked my fingers into her hair and kissed her furiously. I was met with the exact same amount of irate passion when our mouths connected. I moved Alice to her back, literally pressing her into the mattress with my body. I snatched the cover and buried us under it, making the temperature rise like in a sauna. She squirmed her body against my sweat-covered skin and moaned into my mouth. I kneaded her breast firmly before raking my hand down her stomach and over the crotch of her panties feeling what I needed to know. I could easily touch her.

"Jasper…" She panted defensively, but I didn't care. Looking into her eyes, her level of need met mine toe to toe. She was only worried on my behalf. I didn't care what day of the month it was.

"I need you to feel this, Alice. I need you to feel the same as I do. I need you to cum." I practically growled at her. Her eyes sparkled in approval and I slipped my hand past the fabric. I moved my finger into her folds, feeling her juices. She moaned, locking her mouth to mine in yet a hungry kiss. I dragged the slippery wetness from her arousal over her clit and started rubbing.

Almost immediately, I felt her legs start to tremble and her breath left her mouth in erratic pants. I relished her guttural erotic moans. "You feel this. This is me loving you." I echoed her words.

She reached her hand down just as I felt her start to topple over the edge. A completely unexpected pinch from my privates made me lose composure and I climaxed the same time. Alice covered my mouth with hers, muffling my cries. The vibrations of her voice filtered into my mouth when she came just as hard as I did.

We lay sated and still in bed just staring at each other. I was blown away by how intense my experience was with her this morning. It had been so primal. Staring at Alice and her bright sparkling eyes, she was feeling just as overwhelmed as I was.

A sharp thrill from Alice's phone went off breaking our spell. She reached for it without breaching eye contact. She pressed the green button and placed it on the pillow between us using the speaker.

"Hello." She answered softly.

"Alice, dear. How are you feeling, hun?" Aro's whispery voice filtered through the room.

"Never been better." She smiled softly at me. I knew she wasn't answering Aro's question. It was silent for a few beats.

"I'm glad." He answered sounding slightly confused. "What are you up to?" He asked thick with innuendo that _he_ was the one up to something. A chill ran down my spine. There was something unnatural about Aro that unnerved me, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

"Not much." Alice answered evenly. "Just staying at home with my girlfriend."

I couldn't help smirking like a goofy moron when she said girlfriend.

"Oh, how is Bella?" He chimed delighted. I snickered at his obvious misunderstanding.

"Bella is fine." Alice answered nonchalantly. "But I wasn't talking about her." I gaped at her. Was she going to do this now? Was she even ready to just come right out and say it? "I was talking about the girl that is more than just my friend." She said confidently as she leaned over and kissed me chastely. "I love you, Jasper." She whispered, but probably loud enough for the phone to pick it up. The other end of the line was silent for leagues of time.

Aro finally spoke up. "Jasper. There isn't that many girls named Jasper." He said.

Alice shrugged. "I supposed there's not." She answered evenly.

When the hell was I going to learn that I didn't need to worry how the world would treat my girl? When would I learn she faced all obstacles of life with the same tenacity? She was doing just fine on her own and didn't need me to hold her hand. I just needed to be beside her, not in her way.

"Was there anything specific you wanted?" She asked after another pause.

"Oh, yes dear. The truck has resurfaced and your fabrics will be delivered to your office within the hour."

Alice shrieked a high-pitched, break your eardrums squeal and tumbled off the bed. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." She screeched and had already put on a pair of pants. "Get out of bed, Jasper." She ordered. "We got work to do."

oooooOOOOooooo

**Thank you for reading and I hope you will leave me with a thought or two of yours.**

**Next chapter was supposedly to be the last one, but it won't be. Nuff said. See you next Friday/Thursday night. *shrugs***

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**This was intentionally the Epilogue, but I got greedy and I have written a few more chapters. I am also posting a little early this week because I don't know if I can post Friday as usual.**

**Enjoy and let me hear what you think**

**oooooOOOOooooo**

**Five Months**

Alice's side of the bed was cold as usual. I locked my fingers onto her pillow and pulled it to my face. I buried my head in it and inhaled the scent of her shampoo. God, how I missed her.

During the past two weeks, the only times that I had been with her I was asleep, so I didn't really see her. I felt her when she snuck into bed after midnight and she was always gone by the time I woke up. I only had a few incoherent hours of holding her naked body to mine while we slept.

We hadn't made love in what seemed like months. Though, it was probably far less than that. I was just being needy. We had never really come down to a routine from that first experience we had together until now. We had explored and experimented at night until pleasure rocked through our bodies repeatedly. Alice had been curious as ever and I thoroughly enjoyed her appetite for learning.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Night, Bella." I murmured and turned back to the TV. Bella had been dozing off on the couch again, before calling it a night. I flipped through the channels waiting for Alice to finish in the bathroom. She never used to take this long. I muted the TV when I heard her cussing from the bathroom._

_I knocked the door to the bathroom gently. "You okay?"_

"_Um that depends…" she grumbled irritated._

"_Can I come in?"_

"_Sure, why not." Alice sighed. I opened the door and listened to the sound of the shower running slowly. I chewed my cheek to hide my grin when I spotted her in the cubicle. "This isn't as easy as it looks." She groaned. I stared at the razor in her hand._

"_I never said it was." I snickered. Sure, I shaved almost every day, but I also had to learn the ropes. It wasn't a skill I mastered from the get go. It took time. "Why are you doing that anyway?" I frowned._

"_I was curious." She murmured and shrugged._

"_As ever, beautiful Alice." I slipped out of my clothes quickly and held out my hand. "Give it here." I ordered and she obediently handed over the razor. Her eyes twinkled excitedly._

"_What are you going to do?" She basically purred._

"_Showing you how it is done." I brushed my finger over a tiny trickle of blood on her skin. "I can't have you hurting yourself." I hunched down and drew the razor over her silky skin. Alice only shaved once, but I loved that she was curious and wanted to try. She simply made a decision that shaving wasn't for her. That night, she learned how sensitive freshly shaved skin was._

Lying here, I remembered how her passionate kisses, the swell of her breasts, her guttural exotic moans and even how the softness of her pussy against my tongue had felt. My belly clenched. It made me sad because I missed my girl.

Things had changed a lot over the past four months. Never in my life had I been happier. There was so much to reach for in our future. It was all within our grasp.

The first meeting with Emmett had been very stressful for Alice. Emmett had promised to behave, but I knew that was a long shot.

_FLASHBACK_

"_I can't believe how tiny 'ass fondling girl' is." He boomed._

"_Emmett." I groaned. "You promised."_

"_Okay, okay. I'm sorry, Pixie." He amended. "So, how is my sister's ass to fondle?" His laughter thundered throughout the apartment. I glanced sideways at Alice and Bella. Their faces were pale as ghosts and they gaped at Emmett. Oh, this was going to be a challenge. Ten seconds in the door and this was already awkward._

For the first time ever, I had taken my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My mom was elated to finally get to meet her because Emmett had blabbered all the details about Alice to her. I sat back at dinner and watched Alice skillfully wrap my dad around her elegant little finger.

Other things also happened that I never expected.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Just pick a flavor, Alice." I almost groaned. Jeez, how long could it take to pick out ice cream? _

"_But, you like this and Bella likes the double chocolate one." She sighed and swapped the packages once more._

"_Just pick the one you want. I'll eat anything." I shrugged. Alice turned and her eyes gleamed mischievously at me. I rolled my eyes. I could barely open my mouth these days without her reading something naughty into it._

"_How about this?" She asked and held up the strawberry flavored ice cream. "You don't think this is too sweet?"_

_I smirked at her and kissed her cheek quickly. "I like things that are sweet." I said softly. I let my thumb trace just above the waistband of her denim skirt, feeling the smooth skin of her stomach. I kept my hand resting at her hip as Alice gazed wantonly at me with her beautiful eyes._

"_Alice? Hi." A girl said surprised. Alice had the strangest puzzled look in her eyes when the stranger just stared at us. Alice had come out almost immediately to everyone, except her parents. That was a hurdle we had yet to cross._

_Alice's mouth popped open. She was clearly caught off guard. I suspected the girl could be linked to her parents, so I stepped back to give a bit more space between us because I still had my hand casually on her hip. It wasn't up to me when her parents would learn about our relationship, or if ever. Alice never really saw them to my knowledge. By the way Alice looked at the girl and she stared back, it was obvious there was something was going on between them._

_Alice had relaxed after a moment and gave the girl a small hug. It wasn't until she said her name that I understood the tension. Alice had taken my hand, linking our fingers together and introduced me as her girlfriend to Lauren. Lauren, her first crush! _

_Lauren was pretty. That was for sure. She had blond luscious hair to the middle of her back, but she wore too much make-up for my taste. Her eyes traced back and forth between us sadly. Glancing over my shoulder, I understood her melancholy as a man spoke to her and I saw the wedding ring on her finger that matched his. I met her gaze and unhappiness emitted from her eyes looking at us. They were almost jealous. I suspected there was a side to Lauren that her husband didn't know. She probably never moved past her exclusive friendships or came out in the open._

Another thing that had changed was my address. Sure it might be irrational to move in with each other so quickly, but there had been nothing stopping us. Being with Alice was so uncomplicated. At times, we had talked about how we never fought. Normal couples fought, but we didn't. For four months, there had been nothing to fight over, not even the small irritating, nerve grating things did we argue over. With Alice, those things just didn't bother me. It might sound like a cop-out, but it seemed like a waste of time for me to pick a fight over who left the cap off the toothpaste. So far with her it didn't matter, I just replaced the cap.

It was actually Bella that had stated the obvious and asked why I didn't just move in. I was here all the time anyway. That was true. Since the night we had first made love, I hadn't spent one night at my place. Neither of us had wanted to be apart. That was to Emmett's great pleasure. No matter how happy he was about using my space, it still seemed absurd to hang on to the place. So about a month ago, I had moved in with Alice… and Bella. The stuff that didn't fit in the apartment or what was now our room had gone into storage with all of Bella's stuff. With the money we saved on rent, we chose to be responsible and started a savings account for what the future might hold for us. We had laughed for days over it, but it felt good to have something that we both shared.

Having Bella as a friend was another thing I hadn't accounted for. She was a gentle soul, but wasn't afraid to speak her mind when she felt the need to. She supported Alice in everything she did. So when I came into Alice's life, she accepted me like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Alice and Bella did fight on occasion, but it was always about the same thing - the father of her baby. I tried to be the middleman, but it wasn't always easy. Alice was adamant that Bella should confront him, but Bella saw it differently. I was partial to the matter, but what I wasn't partial to was the fact Bella was in a lot of pain. Though when I learned the identity of the father, I understood Bella's choice not to tell him or at least, why she was so careful about it.

I hadn't been at Alice's many nights when I got the first taste of Bella's nightmares. I hadn't been able to sleep when an agonizing scream had ripped through the apartment. I tumbled out of bed expecting to find a burglar doing a B and E, but only to find the screaming was coming from Bella's room.

Alice sat beside her for a few minutes, until she quieted down. She never woke up when it happened, but Alice sitting by her side for a bit could always comfort her.

Coming out of Bella's room that first time that I witnessed her nightmare, I had been standing in the middle of the living room dumbfounded. This was why Alice was reluctant to leave Bella alone at night. I never learned what her nightmares were about because Bella never talked about her bad dreams and Alice never said she was the one who calmed her down.

I rolled to my side, picked up my phone and typed in a text.

_I'm thinking about you. Good luck, baby._

I waited for a few minutes, but I knew there wouldn't be an answer. Not today.

Though I missed Alice like crazy, I would never tell her right now. I would never make her feel guilty for not being here. These past two weeks including tonight were her moment to shine. Alice's collection was done and she had her very first fashion show tonight. That was why she was gone all the time. Her entire career was riding on this one chance. I couldn't be prouder.

I finally tumbled out of bed, finding a pair of panties and a shirt. Alice and I had an unspoken rule that I didn't mind following - no clothes in bed. It was incredibly intimate to sleep next to each other without a stitch of clothes on. It wasn't about sex, but some strange primal need to feel her body and feel that she truly was mine. It was the same for Alice. When I finally wrapped my head around the fact she wasn't going to change her mind, I had opened up to her completely and hadn't felt an ounce of regret for giving her all of me. I never felt so loved in my entire life.

So tonight might belong to Alice, but in some way it also belonged to me – I hoped.

I showered quickly, finishing in the bathroom. I needed to spend a few hours at the office to catch up on a few things, before going to the venue with Bella and Emmett.

Bella was lounging on the couch when I exited the bathroom, wearing shorts and a top. I had learned to be comfortable around Bella being this exposed. She had confronted me about making her uncomfortable. Bella said the fact I never wore a pair of sweats, pajamas pants or anything else relaxing made her feel like a slob. It was slightly backwards, but I could see her point. While I was so hung up on not creeping her out, I was actually doing just that so I learned to relax and be as comfortable as I possibly could.

I had wanted to help Alice with the fashion show, but she said no because I distracted her too much and she couldn't concentrate when I was with her. So I was left tending to Bella. She was very pregnant by now and ready to go into labor any day. It gave Alice a peace of mind to know that either Emmett or I was with her. The two of them had bonded somehow, but over what I was clueless. They were as different as they could be.

Throughout the day, I was nervous, but excited to see my girlfriend's hard work come together.

At exactly six o'clock, the door speakerphone chimed with Emmett thundering through that the car was here. I had wiggled into a pair of jeans that Alice had laid out for me. I glanced at Bella as she stood up from the kitchen table chair. At nine months pregnant, she was quite pretty, but there was no way I was accepting what I was seeing. "You are not wearing those." I said and pointed to her shoes.

"And why not?" She countered and tried to look down at her feet, but I figured she hadn't seen them in months.

"Because either you will break a leg and go into labor or your feet will kill you wearing those heels and you will go into labor. That was the one thing that you promised Alice you wouldn't do today."

"I can't go to her show wearing sneakers." She whined.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Give me a sec." I muttered and hurried to our room. I rooted through the chaotic mess of our shoes trying to find the one decent pair of flats I owned. I knew they would fit Bella. I shoved them into my bag. "Let's go." I said as soon as I was back in the kitchen.

oooooOOOOooooo

I glanced at the mirror, sighing. The top that Alice had made especially for me was stunning. The neckline was reaching down between my breasts showing my cleavage, but unfortunately also the middle of my bra. I turned and glanced at the closing on the back that was also visible. I wasn't sure what Alice had been thinking by making this for me. The fabric was weightless and the print elaborate both in color and design. The waterfall neckline left a little exposed skin, but not too much I guessed. It was a beautiful piece of clothing.

"Jasper…" Alice frowned when I finally saw her. I gaped because I had never seen her look that stunning before. She was in a cream colored dress, made from some sort of frilly fabric that hugged closely at her waist and was deliciously short. Standing behind me, she, for the first time ever, stood taller than me. I glanced down her gorgeous legs to find that she was wearing what looked like at least four-inch heels. Finding her face, her cheeks were flushed with heat, but her make-up was radiant. Her blue eyes were exquisitely framed by the dark smoky shades. Her hair was pulled back in a feminine, large, but rigidly controlled bun. She looked utterly perfect. It was her night after all. I blinked a few times feeling undeniably proud that she was mine.

"Absolutely beautiful." I whispered softly while keeping my eyes locked on hers.

"Thank you." She beamed elated. She glanced down my body again and rolled her eyes. "You are not supposed to be wearing that."

I turned to my reflection in the mirror again and nodded. "I figured." I shrugged and was about to take the top off again. Alice groaned dramatically.

"Not the top." She sighed animatedly and unhooked my bra. "This." She said more playfully. She slipped the straps from my shoulders and I pulled my arms through. She dropped the item to the floor when she had pulled it out by the plunging neckline. "You are perfectly able to go without it." She dipped her head and kissed my bare shoulder while adjusting the neckline. "Looking at you gives me an appetite." She lifted her dark painted eyes to mine in the mirror and smirked at me.

"Alice." I admonished. I glanced at myself. The top did make sense now, but I felt naked and exposed wearing nothing underneath. I never did that.

"What? Ask anyone." She shrugged. "Nice cleavage. I gotta go work." She rushed and the quiet moment between us was gone. The world around us exploded into buzzing sounds of people running back and forth like mad men, stuffing half naked girls into Alice's creations. "Make-up is waiting for you." She yelled over her shoulder when she was ripped from me and engrossed in the pending fashion show.

I found the corner with the bright light bulbs adorning the mirrors. A lanky guy with dramatic eye make-up and Goth inspired pants kept tapping a brush against his temple. His gestures were theatrical and even more feminine than Alice's.

"I was supposed to be here." I said carefully.

"About time. I have exactly six and a half minute to do you." He smiled animatedly and glanced down my body. If people were going to do that all night, I was so changing my clothes, no matter what Alice said. The drama queen whistled under his breath taking me in. "Someone is going to make the men drool with those titties. Nice rack, hun." He winked playfully at me and pointed for me to sit in a chair. I grimaced at him, hating he was making a meal out of embarrassing me. I sat down, unwilling to let him near me. "Who's the lucky guy?" He asked starting to apply the make-up.

It grated my nerves that he assumed to know me. "I speak gay just as fluently as you do, I would assume." I snorted sourly.

"Uh, sassy. I do love a girl with a feisty mouth." He smiled broadly, but stopped working for a moment. "Seriously?" He cocked a brow at me.

"Yes." I answered simply. The man sashayed to the counter and ransacked through the mess of eye shadows. He started brushing a coppery shade over my eyelids.

"Girlfriend?" He asked a moment later a little less vivacious.

"Alice." I answered curtly again. His eyes widened for a moment, then he smiled and glanced in her direction. She was standing beside a technician with an earpiece trying to force an extremely tall girl into a tube top.

"Lucky you." He approved.

"I know." I said and smirked. The make-up artist wrestled with my hair for a few minutes and I gaped when I saw the result. I was sure he had taken a flat iron to my hair, but soft curls framed my face. "Thanks." I said quietly and he winked in response.

The show was ready to start. I was seated with Bella and Emmett in the front row. My stupid brother threw one glance at my top and grinned, totally entertained. I stopped him before he could say anything. "One word Emmett and I will kick you in the balls." I searched around the crowd seeing a few people that I recognized, but mainly it was all Aro's guests. Maria and Nettie were here and so were my parents. I was glad to see Maria single again, and what was even better was Leah wasn't here with Mr. Marcus either. She had left the company a few weeks ago in favor of a prestigious title with a different company. Though, Maria and Leah had broken up before that. Once Maria figured out Leah knack for control, Maria had pulled the plug on that relationship. It wasn't her thing at all, no matter how great the sex was. Though, I would never say it, I was glad the fling between them was short lived. Maria was my friend and I didn't need to see Leah exert her ways over her. But I still received a text from Leah now and again. I ignored them all.

The show hadn't started when I was poked on my shoulder. "You're needed out back." The make-up artist said. I glanced at him for a short moment.

"She's panicking, isn't she?" I whispered over my shoulder, knowing this was exactly a moment where Alice would freak out.

"Big time." He said and rolled his eyes.

Out back, Alice stood in the middle of the huddle of models while Aro was trying to talk some sense into her. She just stared straight ahead with her hands hanging limply at her side. That face I had seen before. "I got this." I said to Aro to get him away from Alice. He still made my skin crawl, though he had never done anything to harm anyone I knew. "You should mingle with your guests." Aro had been so impressed with the collection that he whipped out a decent amount of cash to set off her collection with style and make Alice the belle of the ball. He had given her this chance pro bono.

I brushed my fingers across her glossed lips. "Look at me, baby." I murmured. She slowly lifted her eyes to me. "Don't let your panic steal your show. You want me to stay with you?" I whispered. She nodded briefly, but her eyes were still brimming with fear. "They are going to love it."

"You think so?"

I tapped her temple with my pointer finger. "Doesn't my girl know so?"

She smiled gently while her confidence made a comeback. "A girl can only hope."

The music boomed from the stage and the light dimmed. I glanced at the models lined up at the stage entrance, all wearing her designs and looking out of this world. "Be proud of your work. Look at them. Tell me that is what failure looks like and not an overwhelming success." I kissed the soft spot on her neck just below her ear and I felt her shudder. "I dare you, baby." I challenged smugly.

"They do look beautiful, don't they?"

"There's my confident girl." I praised.

"I love you, Jasper." She whispered and laced her fingers into mine.

"I know. And I love you." I kissed her neck again and we found a spot from where we could watch the show from backstage. I held my breath as the first model stomped down the runway looking incredibly fierce. Alice's heart was like a jackhammer in her chest. The ferocious palpitations continued throughout the show, but that was understandable, it was a chance of a lifetime for her.

A standing ovation erupted from the crowd when Alice made a short appearance on the stage. Aro had arranged for potential buyers to attend the show. Alice mingled from one prospective client to the next. I watched her from afar, sipping on drinks and smiling brilliantly. Once in a while, I managed to sneak in a kiss or a hug. She really was the belle of the ball. By the looks of it, the guests were impressed.

After the show, we had arranged for our friends and family to gather and celebrate Alice.

My jaw dropped when Bella introduced me to Alice's parents out of nowhere. They hadn't bothered to let us know they would be attending. Suddenly standing face to face with them was a little frightening. They didn't know about Alice and me. Would they have seen us tonight? Even if she wanted to tell them, tonight was the worst choice for that.

Alice looked nothing like her parents. Her mother was a stout woman and her father, a thin man whom I suspected hardly spoke a word. They had been so gracious to book a room at the hotel and to make a weekend of coming to see their daughter's first fashion show. I hoped Alice would be glad to see them, but we also needed to be careful. Something we never practiced before. We didn't flaunt our relationship, but we didn't hide it either.

Alice was elated to see her parents, but I could judge by her eyes that she was also worried what they would say. This was our life and I hated that we had to put a downer on our happiness tonight, but so far the night went off seamlessly.

"Come on, Bella. I know you want to." I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard Emmett's droning voice.

"Emmett, I don't think that's a good idea." Bella answered gently.

"Come on. You know you want it." He mused. I was basically alight with fury when I realized Emmett was making a pass at her. She was off limits for starters and seriously pregnant. He couldn't be so demented that he thought hitting on Bella would be okay? I whipped around the curtain in the private dining room of the hotel ready to take his head off. I laughed hysterically when I spotted Bella slumped back on the couch with her swollen feet in Emmett's lap, fighting off his attempt to give her a foot rub.

"Will you admit I was right now?" I countered and glanced at her feet. Bella flushed slightly and smiled sheepishly. "Good thing I brought you flats then."

"You did?" Her face lit up. I nodded in response. It was so comfortable being with the people I cared about. It was like we had created our own little family where we all had our own place and meaning.

I moved to the dimly lit conference room where we had left our belongings, so we wouldn't have to drag them around all night. The door slammed behind me and Alice smiled hugely at me. I hunched down and searched my bag for the flat shoes I had brought for Bella. Alice was right in front of me when I stood up again. It was so odd having her be taller than me, but her killer heels had to be the sexiest thing that I had ever seen.

Her hands roamed down my ass and her mouth enveloped mine instantly. I could taste the alcohol on her tongue as she kissed me forcefully. My body was starving for her touch. I missed being intimate with her. It had been weeks since I tasted her and felt her skin. She walked me backwards until the back of my legs hit the conference table. I fell to my butt.

"Oops" She giggled.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled me to her. "Congratulations, baby. You are officially a success. You proved your parents wrong."

"Thanks, Jasper." She slurred and started kissing me again.

"You're drunk." I laughed enjoying her having the night of her life.

She leaned back and held up her fingers an inch apart. "Just a smidgen." I laughed again. Alice dived for my neck, kissing and nibbling flirtatiously. I tilted my head out of the way to give her space and leaned back on the table. Alice followed not allowing me to have a breath of air before her tongue passionately attacked my mouth. I groaned and raking my hands down her sides and to her ass.

Her fingers trailed down over my collarbone and drew my top aside and exposed one side of my chest. She pulled back from my mouth, staring intensely down at me. Her hand cradled my breast as she kneaded firmly. I squirmed my crotch against her spreading my legs wider.

"I missed you, Jasper." She whispered. "I'm so sorry that I neglected you." She said, her voice was passionate and then she pinched my nipple. I moaned loudly.

"I'm sure that you'll make it up to me." I panted. Alice's eyes were intense and hooded staring down at me. What started as an innocent drunken kiss grew intense in a heartbeat I was feeling the arousing heat spread down my thighs. Alice put her mouth to my breast, kissed and bit down on my nipple, sucking lustfully. I groaned, utterly turned on and feeling moisture pool between my legs.

"God, I want you." She breathed against my skin and massaged my breast again. Her mouth locked over mine again, while moving passionately with me like she could never get enough of me.

"Yeah?" I groaned. I pulled her already short dress up slightly and slipped my hands underneath the fabric. The flesh of her ass was soft and naked, hardly covered by what felt like the skimpiest pair of panties so far. I drew her closer pressing her hips against my thighs as our mouths worked furiously against each other, wet and consuming. Our breathing was labored and wanting as I was sprawled on a conference table with Alice bent over me. It was erotic and a major fucking turn on to have her be so forward. I snaked my one hand across her hip, over her thigh and in between her legs. She panted when I touched the wetness covering her pussy. I pulled my hand back and she whimpered longingly. Our mouths parted. I couldn't help but taste my fingers as she watched, hovering above me. She smiled salaciously.

"Miss the taste of me?" She cocked a brow at me and I nodded. Her hand quickly slipped to my jeans, ripping the button open, forcing the zipper down. Her skilled fingers slipped over my sex, grazing my clit and I groaned with raw desire. She teased me, while barely touching me and just making me want her even more.

"Please, Alice. Please touch me." I purred and bucked my hips towards my hand. The girl, who had once been apprehensive about touching me because she was afraid that she would be bad at it, was nowhere to be found. My Alice was a powerhouse of sensual torture when she wanted to be. As for me, the girl who never begged, I often found myself pleading.

She didn't continue, but withdrew her hand instead. I was about an inch away from pouting. She slipped her index finger into her mouth, reciprocated my gesture. "I miss the taste of you too." She murmured. My body was frantic for her touch and I was too far-gone to stop now. I pulled her face down to me and kissed her deeply. I sighed contently when I felt her hand slip into my pants again. "Make me cum." I breathed into her mouth, hoping she wouldn't leave me hanging like this. Not now, not when she had driven me this far. She pinched my clit within an inch of pain. I hissed from the pleasure and arched my back. I could count the seconds until I would cum. Alice's demanding mouth found my chest and she swirled her tongue, grazing my nipple with her teeth.

"Oh god, that feels good." I moaned, my voice feeling hoarse. I was utterly aroused being trapped underneath her. The primal edge to her attack was erotic and overpowering. I kneaded her breast shortly only to slip my hands down her thighs and up under her dress again. I loved the soft swell of her ass and right now it was the easiest part of her to reach. Her dress was so short and the access was easy. I contemplated going down on her once I had hit my climax. I wanted to smell and taste her arousal.

Her skilled hand dipped further into my jeans and she slowly pushed two fingers inside of me. I moaned loudly and bucked my hips again to greet her hand. "Yes. More." I breathed desperate for the last hint of depth that would send me toppling over the edge. I was almost there.

"Mary Alice Brandon." A woman gasped. Panic jolted through both of us like an electric current and my heart literally lurched to a halt. I glanced to the side only to see Alice's parents staring at us horrified. I quickly pulled down on Alice's dress to cover up her exposed backside, because it was literally sticking half naked right up in the air.

"Holy shit!" Alice gasped. She ripped her hand from my pants and pulled back finding the balance on her heels. I rearranged my top covering my chest and quickly closed my pants while scrambling to my feet.

"What on earth are you doing?" She wheezed as color drained from her face. "Of all despicable things…" She didn't finish. I met Alice's eyes and they were wide with panic and fear. This was a breaking point for her. There was no going back now. "Can we have a moment alone with Alice?" Her mother said coldly and stared at me like I was violating her daughter. It made my stomach churn to see the disapproval on her mother's face. She peered at us like we were murdering someone and not just having a passionate moment. Sure, no one was supposed to see us being this intimate, but looking at her mother it was like we were urinating on graves like vile creatures. There was nothing wrong with us kissing because we loved each other.

"I'll stay right here." I said quietly looking into Alice's eyes. They were swimming with emotions and dejection. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere." I stroked her cheek, as Alice was still facing me.

"It's okay." She answered bravely and pulled in a deep breath. She forced a smile on her face. "It's just my parents. I can handle them."

"You sure?" I asked. She nodded and licked the edge of her teeth.

"Yes. Just give us a few minutes." Picking up Bella's shoes, I glanced at the stout woman as I passed, feeling horrible about leaving Alice alone. I plopped down on the couch outside the room staring into nothing. I started chewing the inside of my cheek furiously as I could only imagine what was being said in that room.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked fretful when I handed her the shoes. Emmett shifted and stared at me.

"Spill!" He ordered simply.

I leaned forward and dumped my head into my hands. "Alice's parents just caught us kissing." I divulged.

"Oh no." Bella gasped and clasped her hand over her mouth. Emmett just gawked at us.

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked confused. "I would love to see you guys making out."

"Shut up! Emmett." I basically yelled.

"So it is a bad thing." He murmured apologetically. "You weren't just kissing, were you?" He asked quietly and not mocking me at all. That was a first.

I shook my head. "I am not entirely sure Alice's parents would condone of what they just saw." I glanced over at Bella and the look on her face told me that I was right. She didn't say anything, just looked down incredibly somber at her swollen belly.

Sadness washed over me when I spotted my dad watching the three of us. He smiled and came over. He sat down at the armrest and put a finger under my jaw. "Chin up, baby girl. No one makes my girl look that sad." I felt like crying because I was at a loss. I didn't want Alice to go through any pain and certainly didn't like that I wasn't in that room defending her and our relationship. "It would happen eventually." He said kindly. "You just need to support her as best as you can."

"How do you know? Do you even know what happened?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Your lipstick is a little smudged." He said and stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"Oh." I murmured and traced a finger along the edge of my lip. I flinched when the door was slammed again. I bolted off the couch ready to run to her rescue, as two people exited the room. Their faces were dark with disapproval and lined with anguish.

A rough hand locked on my shoulder and I was pulled back. Dad looked at me earnestly and smiled knowingly. "Let me." He said and moved to the door before I had a chance to argue.

The stark woman stopped dead in her tracks, turned and went straight for me. "You are completely heartless. Why do you people have to ruin lives with your provocative lifestyle? It is despicable of you to make her do something like that. How could you do this to Alice? How could you ruin her life like this?"

My mouth popped open, but I was speechless. Alice's mother turned on her heels, not waiting for my retaliation. She was gone before my anger boiled over. I had no one to hiss at, but Emmett and Bella. "Stupid fucking cow." I muttered under my breath.

I noticed Emmett, who was surprisingly quiet. I glanced at him. He was usually not withdrawn when delivering verbal attacks. "What the hell does she think?" He muttered. "That you gave her herpes? What the hell does she mean, '_you people'?_ Does she think you are from another breed of human?" He blurted incredulously.

"She probably does." Bella chimed in cheerlessly.

I could only wait for another moment, before I had to see her. I had to know that she was okay. I closed the door silently behind me, watching my dad and Alice from afar.

"They disowned me. They said that I wasn't their daughter anymore if I wanted to be with Jasper. I am not welcome in their house anymore." Alice snorted.

"You know what I think." He paused and Alice looked up at him with her wet eyes. "It is their loss. You don't just go about throwing something precious like you out on the street." Alice snorted thickly and nodded. Dad put his arm around her and hugged her, while he shushed her just like he used to do with me when I was a child. "Don't cry anymore, sweetheart. You'll ruin your pretty make-up. We can't have the star of today looking all splotchy." Alice giggled suddenly and nodded. She smiled that warm loving smile that always stole my heart.

"Your minute is up, dad." I said interrupting them. Alice was hurt and crying, but I was moved to tears watching my dad be so fatherly to her. He treated her like he always treated me.

I hugged Alice and she basically choked me with her slim arms hugging me back. "I love you so much, Jasper." She said and snorted. Internally, I selfishly rejoiced in the fact that I would win if it came down to a choice between her family and me.

"I love you too."

"I want to go home." Alice murmured while clinging to me for dear life. "I just want to be with you."

"This is your night. Let's go have one drink and if you still want to go home, we'll leave. Okay?" I paused. "I don't think you should give up just yet. The night is still young."

"Okay." She said.

We sat down at the bar and Alice gazed at me for a long moment. "They want nothing to do with me." She whispered.

"I know, sweetheart." I said and took her hand. I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed her palm. "How are you feeling?"

"Like sobering up." She smiled her dazzling smile and I laughed. Only my Alice could smile at a moment like this.

We both ordered a club soda and some coffee. Alcohol seemed as unfitting as ever at this moment. I sat still pondering if I should go through with what I had planned all along or just forget about it. The time didn't seem right, but strangely perfect to cement how much I truly loved her.

I found my dad's watchful gaze from across the room and he raised a brow at me. He was the only person I had spoken to about my wish for the future, so he knew what I planned to do. I nodded once and felt resolve flood my body. I laced my fingers into Alice's. "Come with me." I said quietly. She stared at me with her big inquisitive eyes. "You don't get to ask questions." I smiled and nervousness set in. I pulled her through the banquet and towards the show room. I passed my dad and closed the door behind me. Dad would guard the door. No one was allowed inside, as I wanted this moment to be absolutely private.

We entered the room where one lonely spotlight was illuminating the runway. "What are you doing, Jasper?" Alice pondered, while I pulled her towards the stage.

"Get up." I ordered and we both climbed up on the runway Alice's models had been stomping down just a few hours ago.

"Jasper?" She questioned again, but her eyes were alight with excitement.

"You'll see in a moment." I smiled, feeling nothing but resolve. I took her hand again and lead her under the spotlight. I gazed up in the blinding light for a moment. I wanted this to be simple, not buried in countless messes of romantic details. I wanted it to be my words that mattered. I wiped my hands on my jeans, as they were starting to sweat. Alice was still staring at me wide-eyed wondering what the hell was going on. I felt a little snide that for once she hadn't seen this coming. I took both her hands and kissed her fingers briefly. I blew out a sharp breath hoping to feel a little calmer. I had to look up the slightest to see her face and it bothered me. It was weird having her be taller than me. "Can you take your heels off, please?"

"Don't tell me that you're not liking them?" She cocked a brow at me. I laughed. Alice knew that I loved heels, because I never wore anything else.

"Trust me I do, but that is not what this is about." I kicked my own shoes off and the smooth floor of the stage was cool. Her eyes were level to mine now and it was much better.

I released another tensed exhale and my breath was shaky. Alice opened her mouth and was about to speak when I placed my finger across it, silencing her. "You need to let me say this. I am a little nervous, but I hope you will let me finish."

"But…" I simply inclined a brow at her. She closed her mouth again, fighting her lovely smile.

"Okay." I hesitated for a moment. I had been over this a million times in my head, but now everything seemed to be a bit jumbled. I chewed the inside of my cheek, while staring into her eyes, seeing her devotion and love. It gave me the strength that I needed. "Alice, you know I love you. There is no comparison to you whatsoever. Today, this stage was yours and you owned it. You were phenomenal, though that is not even a big enough word." I felt my throat close and my nose going a little stuffy. "I am so proud of you. You are so talented. I am so honored every time you call me your girlfriend and I can't believe that I get to have you. Sometimes I fear I will wake up from this wonderful dream, but every day I do wake up and you are right next to me with your unfaltering determination. I am truly sorry for what your parents saw today, but that doesn't mean that I regret that they know about us now. I stand by everything that we are. I am sorry that they can't accept that. Family is about love. If they can't accept you for whom you love, then are they truly your family? I am and I want to be. I was so scared to let you into my life and let you love me, but when I finally did, it turned out to be the best thing I ever did. Never in my life have I felt so cherished and loved as I do in your hands - your talented and capable hands. I can only hope to make you feel a fraction as safe and loved as I do with you. You set the bar incredibly high and you are one astoundingly brave woman. You know exactly what you want. I finally learned not to question your resolve because there is no point. I only need to stand beside you. Alice, you are my best friend. You are my confidant in everything, you are my incredible lover and you are my deeply loved soul mate." I snorted, as the tears were suddenly streaming down my face. "I know this has no merit legally, but I don't care. All that I care about is that you know this is how I feel. So here goes nothing." I hesitated, watching Alice's wet and deeply emotional eyes. I leaned my forehead against hers, inhaling her gentle and feminine scent. "Will you marry me, Alice?" I whispered and held my breath. It was quiet, so still you could hear a feather drop to the floor. Alice was so still in front of me like she was sleeping. My heart was dancing frantically in my chest, pumping so hard that it hurt. "Say something, Alice." I murmured when an irrevocable panic arose in my body.

"I can speak now?" She whispered almost inaudible. I laughed and snorted.

"Yes."

"Then yes." She said without hesitation or falter. I heard her answer loud and clear.

"Yes?" I retorted elated feeling like I was about to explode from happiness.

"Yes, Jasper. I will marry you." She whispered and wiped my tears.

oooooOOOOoooooo

**So someone's life is about to change… I am just not telling you how. You will have to see for yourself next time I post.**

**I hoped you liked and I look forward to reading your thoughts on the chapter**

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**WARNING: This chapter is NOT suitable for any readers under the age of 18 due to random acts of violence, abuse and self inflicted harm.**

**My heart goes out to anyone who has ever dealt with trauma described in the chapter below. I have tried to deal with the subject as delicately as I possibly could and I never meant to offend anyone if I unintentionally did that.**

**With that said, it was extremely uncomfortable to write the chapter below, because this kind of violence should never be allowed to happen. Fact of the matter is that it does happen every day and we can only love and support the souls inflicted with this kind of hurt.**

oooooOOOOooooo

**One Year**

**Alice's POV**

Tears rolled over my nose as I sat with my face plastered to the half-finished design. The pen hung limply between my fingers. My neck was getting stiff and sore from sitting in this awkward position for so long. I wiped a few of my tears and turned my wrist to check the time. It was the watch that Jasper had given me for my birthday. I traced the delicate frame with my fingers, loving the smoothness of the metal. It was getting late and I hadn't gotten a damn thing done all day. I was exhausted, scared, lonely, desperate, in love, desolate and hurting. It wasn't me that I was hurting for - it was for Jasper. For too long, I had closed my eyes, hoped and waited for her to return to me, but last night I realized I had lost her. I was in way over my head.

I picked up my phone and typed a quick text. I waited for less than a minute before the response blinked on the display. I left my entire mess on my table. Just before I was about to switch off the light, I couldn't help but gently touch the silk of the top that I made for Jasper. I never wanted to change a thing about her, so I wanted her to wear her favored jeans when we would get married. I just insisted on designing her top. I switched off the light. None of it mattered anymore. It all seemed insignificant compared to our forsaken situation.

I pushed the heavy doors to the bar open. She sat waiting with her head in her hand, while drumming her fingers against the bar.

"Hi Nettie," I said and smiled.

"Alice," she beamed and looked behind me. Her face fell disappointed. "Jasper's not coming?" I shook my head and accepted the welcoming hug from Nettie. "I really hoped to see her. It's been so long?"

"I know," I answered quietly. This bar was a place we used to go to have a drink or a fun night out, but we hadn't been here in months. "What are you drinking?"

"Martini. What else is there?"

"A cosmo," I countered and quirked a brow at her. She laughed. I ordered the drinks.

"So anything specific on your mind?" Nettie asked.

I nodded slowly and uncontrollable sadness washed over me once more. "I need help, Nettie." Her eyes widened with alarm.

"With what?" she asked tentatively. I had a lot of secrets these days. I had covered up the truth about Jasper for too long now.

"It's Jasper. I can't handle her anymore," I swallowed convulsively and let the dread run over my skin. I swore that I would always take care of her, but I was throwing my towel in the ring now.

"Alice…" she sighed almost accusatory.

"I know." I murmured. "She's not the same anymore."

"You can hardly expect her to be." Her brows furrowed and her tone was protective of Jasper. I adored her for it and would act exactly the same way.

"You're right," I conceded. "But before she had an appetite for life, her job, family, us, sex and well, everything. Now, there is nothing. I've tried to be patient with her, but I can't do it anymore." Tears welled up immensely in my eyes and I tried to push them back.

Nettie's eyes hardened and she evaluated me for a long time. Her tone was cutting when she spoke again. "I like you, Alice. I always have. I know you love her, but come on. Stop being a selfish bitch and get over yourself," she paused and gritted her teeth. "Your girlfriend was assaulted. She was goddamn raped and you sit here and piss and moan about your sex life! That's just despicable." Nettie grimaced and thirstily gulped about half of her martini that was just placed on the bar.

Tears feel down my face in heavy torrents. I wiped them on my sleeve, not caring how unladylike I looked. I leaned my head to the bar and just gave up. I let the tears run free and the ache that I felt for my girlfriend burn in my heart. It took a moment for me to gather myself enough to tell Nettie the truth. I felt like shit. I knew I betrayed Jasper, but there was nothing I could do anymore. I couldn't handle this on my own. I realized that now. "Nettie…" I snorted and she stared at me. "I wasn't talking about sex at all. I was talking about Jasper's general health. She is in deep shit," I paused briefly. "Last night, in the middle of the night, I caught her in the bathroom taking a razorblade to her skin, cutting her thigh." I lost control of the tears once more. My beautiful and strong Jasper was hurting herself and I hadn't even noticed it. I blinked and instantly images of last night flashed before my eyes, the crimson torrent of blood running down her thin and pale thigh from where she had cut herself. I saw her hollow and petrified eyes when she discovered I caught her.

Nettie face drained of all color and her mouth hung open, gaping. "Are you serious?"

I wiped my face on my sleeve once more, snorting. "Yes," I choked.

Slowly, Nettie's hand covered her mouth. "Oh god," she murmured.

I drew a slow breath and turned to business. "That is why I need your help. You're a nurse. You must know people. Someone who can help us. Anyone."

"You mean you want her hospitalized?"

I shook my head no quickly. "I want her to stay with me. I want her at home with me. I was thinking about maybe a therapist or someone who can help. Someone who knows how to handle her depression and what I saw her do to herself last night. I don't know anything about it and I am scared." Overwhelming fear rolled over me. "What if she really hurts herself next time?"

"It's called cutting, Alice. Usually it's not a suicide attempt, but a cry for help," Nettie said kindly.

"Then help me help her, Nettie. I don't have the energy to look for someone to help. I don't even know where to start." I begged. My voice turned sobbing. I felt Nettie's arms around me and I latched on to her for dear life. I nuzzled my face into her neck and cried like a child. It felt so good not to be alone anymore and to finally open up to someone with all my worries. She shushed me and stroked my back letting me get it all out.

I cleaned my face the best that I could and started sipping my drink. "I'll have something for you in the morning, Alice. I'll ask around and find someone to help." She paused. "Sorry I called you a bitch."

I smiled weakly. "I don't care." I left Nettie at the bar and hurried home. Jasper would have been home for a while now. As I walked, I couldn't escape the memory of that terrible night Jasper's life changed.

*Flashback*

'_I'm here to see Jasper Whitlock," I panted out of breath to the first receptionist that I could find._

"_And you are?" She evenly glanced over her half specs._

"_Alice Brandon. She called saying she was here. I think she was robbed or something."_

"_Are you the next of kin?"_

"_Er, yes, she's my girlfriend."_

"_I'll check. Have a seat, Miss Brandon." I stepped back and tried to find patience for her to get her shit in order. She dug her head into some papers, while I glanced down the long hall. I followed my heart and my feet moved. Slowly, I trailed past the numerous exam rooms letting my instincts guide me. It was quiet when at the end of the hall when I heard the faint murmur of the voice that I would know anywhere. It sounded utterly broken._

"_Can't we just wait until she gets here?" Jasper's voice was thread thin and shaking._

"_I think we should start the exams. I am sure she will be here soon." A kind voice said soothingly. It was warm and motherly._

_Carefully, I pushed the door open and peaked in. I gasped and my blood turned to ice in my veins. She was the only thing I saw. Jasper stood in the middle of the room, barefooted and on a large square piece of paper. Her hair was chaotic. She was crying and looking an utter mess, but that was the easy part to see. The hurtful part was seeing her torn clothes, the swelling of a black eye, her split lip and blood caked at the side of her face. She had been thoroughly beaten._

"_I'm here, baby," I said, not waiting to be invited into the room. I bolted for her, eager to hold her and offer her any comfort that I could. I was beyond heartbroken that someone had hurt my girlfriend like this. She had the gentlest soul that had ever existed. _

_I was grasped roughly by the arm, restrained and pulled back harshly. "You can't touch her."_

"_What?" I spat in response. No one told me if I could touch Jasper or not. "Let me go!" I ordered hating that I was so small that I couldn't fight off the nurse that outweighed me by twice my size._

"_Calm down, miss." I was ordered._

_Jasper tried to smile, but it ended in a wince and a grimace from her lip. "It's okay, Alice," she said bravely._

"_It's not okay! What happened? What are you doing?" I demanded as another person dressed in scrubs removed her torn jacket._

"_They are doing a rape kit," she murmured and tears started more heavily to fall from her eyes. All air whooshed from my lungs. I felt like I was going to collapse. My head started spinning deliriously. She hadn't just been beaten._

"_Oh no, Jasper," I wheezed. I just gaped at her not knowing what the hell else to say. What on earth do you say when the person you love more than your own life tells you she was sexually assaulted? Someone violated her and beat her._

"_Just let them do their job, sweetheart," she said calmly, but I knew her better than that. Her beautiful eyes were lost in pain and despair. I nodded, seeing it was better to be complacent than to put up a fight. I relaxed and the nurse's iron grip around my bicep loosened. Her eyes were fiercely on my face, pinning me to the spot. _

_I watched silently as they worked to strip Jasper out of her sodden and torn clothes. They were all packed in boxes marked EVIDENCE. They combed through her hair and cleansed her nails gathering all foreign material from her body that they could. _

_Warm tears trailed down my cheeks when I realized how much she had been harmed. Jasper's aqua eyes never left mine as they went through the motion of gathering what they needed. Bruises on her ribs were beginning to darken. Her knees and elbows were scraped bloody. There was a heinous bite mark at the top of her right breast. Her neck was covered in marks circling from front to back. Staring at those particular bruises, I realized how lucky she was to even be alive. _

_A third person gave her a gown to cover up with and guided her to a bed. Complacently, she lay back, wincing as she moved. _

"_You can hold her hand now." The overweight nurse said. I didn't hesitate to finally move closer and take her hand. I sat down next to her and stroked her tousled hair._

"_I love you," I whispered over and over again._

"_Put your legs up, please." She was ordered. Jasper held her breath and grimaced when she placed her feet in the stir-ups. She was in pain._

"_I love you too, baby," she breathed after a moment. "You can wait in the hall, if you want," she offered. I shook my head immediately. There was no way I was leaving her. I didn't want her to be alone._

_I closed my eyes for a moment when the second part of the exam began. Jasper still had a strong face on. I was so proud of her. She really was a star, taking everything so calmly. I leaned my head beside her pillow and our foreheads merged as a doctor started to examine her. A few more tears fell. She was so resilient, but I wished I could take her pain away. A hailstorm of uncomfortable questions started to rain down on her. I sat still, stroking her hair._

"_Have you had intercourse in the last forty eight hours?" the doctor asked._

_She didn't look away from my eyes. "Alice and I made love this morning," she murmured confidently. It felt horrible having our privacy being picked apart like this. It was downright revolting. _

_The doctor glanced at me, reading me. "Any penetration?" _

_I cringed and swallowed back bile._

"_No," Jasper answered softly, still having her eyes on me. "I've never been with a man. I've never been penetrated in the way I suspect you mean… uh, prior to today." She looked at the doctor shortly. _

_I almost threw up at that. I knew everything about her past. I knew she was somewhat proud and considered herself 'pure' from not having been with men ever. I never felt so much hatred than when I learned that had been taken away from her. Someone stole something so important from her. I literally felt murderous! _

"_It's okay, Alice," she whispered reading into my anger. I didn't respond._

"_You are bleeding some, but nothing that needs stitches. There is quite a bit of swelling and bruising, but your hymen is still partially intact." The doctor said business like. "Did the perpetrator use a condom?"_

_Jasper shook her head. "It wasn't his… er, penis. It was the shaft of his knife. That was what he put inside of me. It felt too cold to be him," she snorted. I gently wiped a few of her tears feeling devastated._

"_I see," the doctor said and took some notes and did some swaps. "Miss Brandon, I need a sample from you too, in case we need to exclude you from some of the evidence." I nodded woodenly, feeling thoroughly overwhelmed with the whole deal. I wasn't the one assaulted, but I felt the pain of it all intensely. The doctor swapped my cheek._

_Police were the next people prodding into her personal life. We stayed in the exam room while she was questioned. I was allowed to stay with her._

"_Did you know the man?" a balding detective asked._

"_No. He just put a knife to my throat and dragged me into that alley," she answered soberly. She sat up on the bed carefully, trying not to move too much. Some of her ribs were bruised. I could only imagine that it would be painful to sit down._

"_What happened then?"_

"_He told me to keep quiet or he would slit my throat. I tried to knee his groin, but he was too strong. That was when he started hitting me. At some point, I fell and he kicked my ribs. I think I blacked out for a moment. When I came to, he pulled me upright and held me against the wall. He made a massive point of showing me his knife. It was huge and had a jagged blade. Like a hunting knife, I think. He sliced my jacket and shirt open. I was too scared to scream, so I kept quiet. That was when he bit me," she muttered guilty._

"_It's okay, Miss Whitlock," the detective said kindly. "Go on. What happened next?"_

"_I noticed this woman there. I thought she would help me but she just looked at me with this sinister smile on her face."_

"_Did you know her? Anything? A name?"_

"_No, but she had really long curly and flaming red hair. I realized she was with him. It was like she enjoyed watching him attack me." She paused for a moment. "He started to rip my pants open. I begged him not to do this. He put his hand down between my legs and put his fingers inside of me. I tried to push him off me. He then squeezed hard around my throat and I couldn't breathe. He tried to strangle me. I struggled to keep conscious. He told me that he would show me how it felt to be with a real man, but that I needed to learn my lesson first. That was when he pulled my pants all the way down and slammed the shaft of his knife into my privates. I could feel the blade at my thigh. It was so painful that I couldn't move. I held back my scream because I was terrified he would put the knife to my throat again. He let go of my neck to undo his pants. He pulled the thing out of me. I didn't care anymore. I thought he was going to kill me anyway, so I made a run for it. I'd rather die before than after he was done raping me. So I reached down and grabbed his junk and squeezed like I was crushing eggshells. He screamed and I ran. The woman watching called out for him. I managed to pull my pants up and run into the street. That's where someone called the police."_

"_Good for you, Miss." the detective paused for a brief moment. "Uh… we found two severed toes at the crime scene. Can you explain that?_

_Jasper nodded weakly and smiled victoriously, reminiscing. "Just after I hurt him, I slammed my heel into his foot as hard as I could. I thought I heard a crunching noise but I wasn't sure. He wasn't wearing any shoes. Strangely," she muttered. "Oh and the woman called him James."_

"_Anything other than James?"_

"_Not that I recall." She looked at me. "Can I go home now? I really just want to go home with Alice."_

"_Of course," the detective said politely. "We have your number if we need more information."_

_I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me. She smelled like urine and rotten garbage from the alley, but I didn't care. She was alive and we were going home. _

"_You want a shower before you go?" One of the nurses asked._

_Jasper shook her head. "I wanna go home. Then I'll wash his filth off me."_

_The nurse smiled. "Glad you kicked his ass, sweetheart."_

_Jasper smiled in return and we left the room._

_At home, Bella was up waiting anxiously for us. She gasped when she saw the disheveled state that Jasper was in. I was with her when she called me from the hospital. She hovered, while asking if there was anything she could do to help, but I told her now was not the time. She backed off, retreating to her room. Bella had enough on her mind. It was less than two weeks ago that she gave birth to her daughter._

_Jasper sat down carefully on one of the chairs in the kitchen. She clutched her arms around her chest and stared into nothing. I squatted down in front of her and took her smudge-covered hands in mine. _

"_I know I need to have a shower, but I am so disgusted with myself that I don't know how to do it," she mumbled bleakly and finally looked at me. _

"_It's okay, sweetheart. I'll do it." I said as bravely as I could manage. I think I wanted her cleaned of the smut as much as she did. I wanted my Jasper to smell like her old self again. I took her hand and she stood up cautiously, wincing as she moved._

_I turned the shower on and helped her out of the scrubs borrowed at the hospital. I cleaned every inch of her body. From scrubbing her nails, to washing off the remainders of dried blood from her face, to washing her hair three times, to brushing her teeth, to removing her make-up and washed the bruised and battered insides of her thighs. I combed out her hair, tended to her split lip, the cuts on the side of her face, put lotion on her skin and dressed her. We climbed into bed. Jasper nuzzled into my neck and I held her tight to me. Both of us cried silently for most of the night. The love of my life had been hurt so deeply and it was hard to accept._

_That was the last time she had willingly let me hold her. We spent the following week with her family at her childhood home._

oooooOOOOooooo

At home, I sat down on the couch next to Jasper. For once, her hand wasn't curled into the sleeve of her shirt and her fingers were free. She didn't look at me, instead she just stared intently into the wall ignoring me.

I snaked my hand over the sofa cushion hoping she would let me touch her hand today. When I laced my fingers into hers, she suddenly snapped her head in my direction like she didn't even know I was here. Her beautiful eyes bored into me with a pain that left me gasping. Her eyes were devastated beyond recognition. I knew she was already in a lot of pain, but today it seemed worse. She pulled her hand from mine and withdrew it into the sleeve, but not before she clutched her phone desperately.

She looked away and left my side without saying a word. The door to our room closed silently. I turned over the back of the couch as I searched for Bella. "Did something happen?" I asked distraught as to why Jasper seemed worse. Perhaps she was mad at me for spotting her last night.

Bella stared at me with her deep brown knowing eyes. I never confided in her about my own pain over this, but she knew me well. Bella knew more than she led on, but she would never be intrusive by digging for details if I didn't offer them, and I hadn't. "Not to my knowledge. She's been sitting there like the dead, since she got home from work." Bella paused. "Another bad day?" she asked full of understanding. Jasper was her friend, as well as her roommate. I only nodded in response. They were all bad days, but today I figured we hadn't hit rock bottom yet.

I sighed and stood up from the couch. I knew there was nothing I could do, but I had to try. Though, I had tried about everything I knew. "Jasper?" I called confused, as our room seemed empty. I heard the soft snorting when I glanced in the small corner between the dresser and the wall. Oh god, we were back to that now? She had stopped doing that months ago. I moved around the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress across from her. It broke my heart to witness the love of my life being in so much pain. I was at wits' end and didn't know how to help her anymore.

I stared at Jasper for a moment, while she was curled into herself. Her forehead was against her knees, arms pulled over her head and she was rocking back and forth. The only skin exposed was her face that was buried in her lonely embrace. I hadn't seen the tiniest slap of her skin for six months, except from last night. She was always completely covered up. She even slept with her damn socks on and her turtleneck all the way to her jaw. I knew she had to be getting skinny because I never really saw her eat. I didn't know how thin, but judging from the rare times she actually slept and I could stroke her back undetected, her ribs were getting prominently visible. Her cheeks also seemed too hollow. Jasper's body had always been strong, sinuously athletic and healthy. That was how I knew her, but now she was falling to pieces before my very eyes. I was utterly helpless.

Her rocking intensified along with her devastated sobs. "Jasper." I sighed. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I thought better of it. "I don't know how to help you anymore," I whispered. My eyes glassed over and deafening pain squashed my chest.

"God, please, Alice," Jasper begged desperately into the empty space between her legs and stomach.

"What, sweetheart?" I murmured and folded onto my knees in front of her. I kept my hands from stroking her hair, though I wanted to comfort her physically. I knew she wouldn't let me.

She finally looked up. I was stunned by the masses of tears soaking her face. She was completely splotchy and her eyes were red. She snorted and ran her hand buried in her sleeve under her nose. "Please don't leave me. Alice, you're all that I have left. Oh, god," she wailed. "Please, just stay with me. I forgive you. I don't care about what happened. I love you. You just have to stay with me," she begged frantically.

I gaped at her. "Jasper, what are you talking about? You are not making any sense." I demanded in a panic.

"I don't care, Alice. I forgive you."

"Forgive me for what?" I pleaded, quiet and confused.

"I know I'm fucked up. I'm a mess. I'll try to do better. I promise. Stay with me, please." Her face pulled into a grimace and she dumped her head onto her kneecaps again, crying brokenly.

I moved closer without touching her. I was torn that I couldn't. "Jasper, breathe," I paused. "Look at me. What happened?" I implored.

She looked up again and produced her phone from up her sleeve. "The pictures," she breathed. She wiped her eyes with her shirt. I took her phone and opened the gallery. I was immediately hit with photos followed by a short text.

"_Has the little bird flown the nest?" _

I scrolled through the pictures. They were slightly grainy, but it was pretty clear what Jasper would read into this. My hair was engulfed by Nettie's arms in an intimate looking embrace. I was still in the same dress as on the pictures.

"Who the hell sent you these?" I demanded furiously. Jasper flinched. "Don't answer that. I know who fucking did it. No one calls me _bird,_ but one person." I hissed tight-lipped.

"Leah," she whispered.

I chose to ignore my anger and focus on what was important right now. The person I loved beyond sanity - my soul mate, Jasper. I crept closer slowly, so I wouldn't startle her. "Baby, do you really think I would have an affair?" I hesitated. "Do you really think that I would cheat on you?"

She stared at me with those broken and bloodshot eyes. "I try to keep you pleased. I really try, Alice."

"I know you do, sweetheart," I sighed. We didn't have a sex life, only Jasper's delusional idea that she needed to keep me satisfied. I hadn't had the heart to tell her that it didn't matter. That it wasn't important at all. The intimacy that we did have might as well have been provoked by a vibrator. It would have the same result. I got off. Jasper was broken, so when she thoroughly satisfied me, she was like a robot. She was nothing close to the passionate and affectionate person that I had known when we first started our relationship. So when it happened, it was because Jasper insisted on it and she touched me, not the other way around. I wasn't allowed to touch her. I had to keep my hands over my head, so I didn't accidentally caress her skin or stroke her back. I missed her, but I also completely understood her. I didn't care if we made love. I just wanted her to heal and get better. My lover and best friend was fading away and I was living with a shattered ghost.

"Jasper, I promise that I am not cheating on you. I went to see Nettie today, because I needed to talk to a friend. Jasper, you need to get some help. We need to get some help. I am not leaving you. I swear to you that I will never leave you," I answered softly.

"So what are these pictures?" she murmured.

"Nettie hugged me because I cried."

"You cried? Why?" Jasper asked confused, like me being distraught was the furthest thing from her mind.

"Because I don't know what to do anymore. I asked Nettie for help, because we need it. Jasper, please won't you let me hold you."

She shook her head. "I can't be touched."

"You promised to do better. Please just try to let me give you a hug. You are upset and I want to comfort you." I snug closer and she recoiled deeper into the corner. "Look at my hands, baby. These are hands that will never hurt you." I whispered, still moving closer while I cornered her. I put my hands over the wrinkled fabric that was forced into her locked fists. "I won't hurt you. I am yours forever, but you need to get better. You are destroying yourself and I can't stand by and let you do it anymore." It was getting harder to speak because pressing tears were muddling my voice.

I slowly ran my hands up her to her shoulders feeling how frail and thin her arms were. I instantly feared her deterioration was worse than I thought. She tried to push further into the corner but the wall surely wouldn't budge. "It's okay, Jasper." I whispered hoping she would relax just a little bit. I gently pushed her long ponytail off her shoulder. She hadn't cut hair since she was attacked. She stared at me with those terrified eyes when I was close enough to smell her skin. "It's okay, baby. We will survive this. We belong together. It's you and me forever, remember?"

"You really mean it?" she breathed.

"Of course I do. You're the love of my life, Jasper. There's only you. It was always you." I paused and took a deep breath. This was make it or break it time. "I'm going to put my arms around you. It's just me. You know me. You know my body. Just relax and let me comfort you." Our eyes were locked on each other. She finally gave a slight nod as permission. She crawled the last wedge of space between us. Willingly and for the first time in months, she let me put my arms around her. Trying not to startle her, I slowly splayed my fingers into her hair and she buried her face into the base of my neck. I locked her intensely to me, hoping that I could shield her from some of her pain. "Oh god, Jasper," I croaked when it dawned on me that I was really holding her for the first time in what felt like forever. "I love you so much, baby. I can't bear for you keep doing this to yourself."

"I don't want to. I want to get better." I could feel her tears soak the shoulder of my dress.

"Yeah?" I murmured.

"I miss you so much."

"I'm right here, Jasper. I'm always right here for you."

"Really?" She whispered unconvinced. "It just made sense that you would find…" I shushed her and cut her off. I knew what she would say and it was irrational. Though times were tough, I would never leave her or do something as despicable as betray her trust that way.

"That's not us, Jasper. We're above that shit."

Her arms carefully snaked about me and I felt her hug me back. "So you still love me? Even with the mess that I am?"

I pulled my head back, so I could see her. "Every minute of every day." I very carefully traced my fingers down her cheeks catching her tears. I ran the tip of my tongue over my teeth. "I want you back, Jasper. Together, we can fight this." I paused. "I have some conditions I want you to accept, okay?" She nodded. "I have asked Nettie to find a therapist you can talk to. Do you think you can do that?" I asked carefully. She nodded and waited for me to go on. "Together, I want us to try to break down your fear of me touching you. I want to be able to hold my girlfriend's hand." She already started to recoil from me, but I held her in place. "This is what I am talking about. You flinch away from me every time I try, so I have an idea. What if I tell you before I take your hand or touch your shoulder? How would that be for you?"

"I don't know," she murmured and started shaking.

"Why are you so afraid of when I do?"

"Acceptance. I can't accept your touch not after what he did. I can't accept what he did to me."

"But I'm not him."

"No," she barely whispered.

"You have to accept what happened. It is the only way you can move forward. We can't take it back, so we have to put it behind us." Jasper's eyes were terrified, but she nodded in agreement once more. I wondered why she was suddenly so compliant. I had demanded several of these things many times before. I stared at her devastated face and realized us falling apart _was_ rock bottom for her. This was a turning point for her. This might be the only chance I ever had to get her back. Now, she needed to learn how to fight again. I played the meanest card I had and used my power over her.

"You want us to stay together?" I asked softly when I pulled back. She nodded fervently. "Then you need to let me help you. You need to do as I say, okay?" Once again, she nodded. For the first time in a long while I could see the determination radiating from her eyes. "I'm going to fix us something to eat. I want you to eat it this time. Don't just stare at your food, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed softly.

In the kitchen, Bella watched me suspiciously as I made a few sandwiches and arranged some fruit on a plate. "Is she okay?" she asked carefully.

I shook my head trying to hold my sobs, but tears burst through anyway and rolled down my cheeks. "Not right now, but she will be," I answered curtly. "She has to be." There was no way that she was slipping through my fingers now. I couldn't afford to lose her. I refused to lose her. I looked at Bella and her eyes were filled with worry. Still waters run deep. Perhaps Bella was quiet, but that didn't mean she was clueless.

We kept sitting in the small corner. I lit a few candles. It was kind of peaceful and intimate and felt nice. I watched as she carefully put the grapes into her mouth, chewed then swallowed. She ate every single one of them. This was the first time that I had seen her eat so much, since she was attacked. When her plate was empty, she curled her hands into the sleeves and started fidgeting. She began chewing furiously at the inside of her cheek while glancing at the clock.

"You need to take a shower?" This was a part of her daily routine. Every morning and every night, she would shower for a long time. The water bill was through the roof, but neither Bella nor I said anything. I just paid the expensive bill.

"Yes," she said carefully like she was asking for permission.

I reached out for her cheek and she flinched back colliding with the wall roughly. "Sorry," I murmured and amended. "I am going to touch your cheek now," I said gently and stroked my thumb across her cheek. This time she didn't recoil, but sat still and let me brush her skin. Her eyes were wide with fright, but she let me. "Take your shower, but I want to watch," I said carefully.

"Why?" she muttered and her lips trembled.

"Because I want to see how thin you are. I want to see if last night was the first time you really cut yourself." I said honestly.

"Don't you trust me?" she mumbled and looked away.

"Should I, Jasper?"

She hesitated, opened her mouth a few times, but closed it again. "No. You shouldn't," she answered finally. She curled her body into a tiny ball.

"Are you afraid to let me see you without clothes on?" I asked carefully and she nodded immediately. "I promise that I won't touch you. I just need to see. Let's go and you can have your shower."

In the bathroom she slowly curled out of her shirt, one after the other. I hadn't realized she was wearing five. Every time she took one off, her frame became smaller. I did my best to hold on to my rattled composure, but it was an epic battle. I knew it took all her courage to do this and I was proud of her.

I stared horrified at her tiny naked frame. "Oh, my god, Jasper." I gasped, losing my composure. Her collarbones were too prominent perturbing out from the top of her chest dramatically. Her upper arms were extremely thin. Her sinews and bones ran dramatically just under the skin. Her hipbones were stretching just beneath her unhealthily pale membrane. Her head seem too big for her, almost like a growing child's body. I needed to hold back another gasp when I realized her entire body was covered in a fine layer of hairs, the body's own protection against the cold, because she was so thin. Jasper was nothing but skin and bone. Her once so vigorous body was gone. It wasn't just her mind that was fading away. She was physically withering away. I closed my eyes feeling so ashamed that I let this go on for so long. I had basically helped her hide this. She had been at my side for the past six months and I had let this happen to her without helping her to get better. I hadn't realized her weight loss was that extensive. She looked to have lost as least thirty pounds. She never needed to lose weight to begin with, not a single pound. She really hadn't been eating at all.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, trying to focus my energy on her and not on my disappointment with myself. "Where have you been cutting yourself?" I asked carefully. It hurt so much saying it, but we had to hold on to the honesty that had always been between us.

She held out her left arm and I could clearly see the thin healing cuts on her upper arm. Fortunately, that wasn't as bad as I thought. There were considerably less than I expected. She then pointed to her thigh and I found the same amount of reddish lines along with the fresh. On the opposite leg were similar marks. Those were the ones that I had caught her making last night. Those were pink and fresh compared to the others.

I reached behind her and turned the water on. I stared seriously into her broken eyes. "I love you, Jasper. But from now on, I will check your body for new cuts whenever I see fit. I will also monitor your weight regularly. This has got to stop and it stops today!" I demanded.

"Thank you, Alice," she said softly.

When Jasper was having her nightly shower anger rose inside of me. I went back to our room and found her phone. I checked the photos once more and pulled up the number they were sent from. I paced back to the living room.

"Hello." The deep voice mused, sounding almost smug. Oh, she knew who she thought was calling. If I had the strength, I would have crushed the phone with my fingers.

"How dare you send her those pictures? How dare you fucking do that to her? If you ever disturb our lives again, I will have Aro make sure you never work again. Am I making myself clear? Leah, I have put up with a lot of shit from you, but it ends now! Yeah, little birds can kick ass too!" She was about to answer back, but I wasn't having it. "Go fuck yourself, Leah," I snarled harshly.

I hung up without waiting for her to respond. I tossed Jasper's phone to the sofa. I ran my trembling hands over my face trying to control my anger. When I looked up, Bella was staring at me flabbergasted.

"What was that about?" she asked wary.

"Taking care of what is mine," I muttered, but didn't bother to elaborate. I found some clean clothes for Jasper, making sure I had the multiple layers of shirts ready so she would feel comfortable.

When she was done with her shower and safely back in her layers of shirts, we settled on the bed. I sat back against the head of the bed and with my brush in my hand. I slowly unfolded Jasper's hair from the towel wrapped around her head. She agreed to sit between my legs, so I could comb her hair out. I was devastated to see the amount of loose strands tangled in the teeth of the brush. Her hair was falling out. I put the brush away while drawing in a deep breath.

"I think we should postpone the wedding," I said carefully. Jasper stiffened and slowly turned, looking over her shoulder horrified. Intense pain shot through her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. "We're supposed to get married in almost three weeks and neither you nor I are in the right frame of mind right now. I want us to focus on you getting better."

"Okay," she mouthed after a long pause. "Just promise me that you still want to get married."

"I do…" I smirked weakly. "I promise I will be your wife. Just a little later than expected."

We talked the entire night, cried some and hashed out a plan for us. I would do whatever it took to get her life back. She deserved better than this.

oooooOOOOooooo

**With this sad chapter I hope you will voice your opinion in the comments.**

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**I want to thank those of you who read and commented on the latest chapter, I know it wasn't a pleasant experience.**

**In this chapter we are back to Jasper's POV and to see through her eyes what her world changed into. **

**Warning: There are still elements of discomfort present in this chapter.**

oooooOOOOooooo

**Between Year One and Year One and a Half**

It was dark. Everything was just so dark. I could hardly remember the days that passed, let alone separate them. They were all just a huge black blur. Six months had gone by and I hardly noticed. It all just felt like one moonless night soaked in pain. This deafening all consuming agony was suffocating me.

The first murky memory I had after that dark time was Alice spotting me in the bathroom with the blade clutched in my hand. I was digging it into my thigh. I did it to relieve some of the choking pain that I felt. Adding a hurt that I controlled, it was like I could take just one breath. Doing this helped dull the ache from _his_ disgusting hands terrorizing my body. Letting the sharp edge of the blade kiss my skin I could drown _him_ out for just a brief moment. I could beat him like this.

Locking eyes with Alice, I watched her horrified face as she took me in. That had been the initiation of my wake up call. Had I known then what would come the following day and not the truth behind it, I might seriously have ended it.

I had thought about killing myself more times than I could count, but I was to chicken to act on it. The eternal darkness was whispering so seductively for me to join it and to avoid feeling this devastating ache. It was telling me that I could escape from remembering _him_ and what _he_ had done to me. It would relieve me of my terror.

The next day, I had experienced a feeling that I dimly remembered from before all this darkness - shame. I felt ashamed. Running my fingers over the two fresh cut marks on my thigh, I felt shameful towards Alice. She shouldn't have to look at this. She shouldn't have to put up with me anymore. All day at work, I thought about what to say to her to end our relationship. She shouldn't waste her life on me any longer. She was too good for this.

Later in the afternoon, I found out just how wrong I was. I had thought I was strong enough to let her go, that I had the courage to set her free and not be with her anymore. I had been so naïve, so stupid and so blind.

I hardly remembered greeting Bella when I got home. I just sat down on the couch and waited for Alice to come home, like I did every day. I could vaguely hear Bella chatting animatedly to her daughter Elizabeth in the kitchen, but I didn't pay attention them. I just stared at the raw bricks on the back wall. My phone had buzzed a few times and I checked it out of habit. It was Leah's number. I didn't have her name listed, but I recognized the digits. I stared dazed at her words trying to get them to make sense.

_Has the little bird flown the nest? _

The text was followed by images of Nettie. I immediately recognized her blond hair. It looked the same as it had since college, blond, long and lush. It took a few moments until I saw that it was Alice she was holding in her arms, perhaps kissing? It was hard to tell, but I was sure it was Alice that she was hugging so warmly and affectionately. Everything suddenly made perfect sense. I wouldn't have to leave Alice. She had already left me and found someone worthy of her and who loved her, like she deserved to be loved.

I went completely numb and let myself drown and be swallowed up in the darkness. There was nothing now.

A small hand slipped underneath mine and it was like a red-hot burning iron. It scorched my skin with a pain that obliterated the numbness I felt. It was like my anesthetized body was catapulted back to reality and I landed in a pool of acid. I pulled back instinctively because I didn't like anyone touching me anymore. I wasn't worthy. I looked at her for only a brief second, but that was all I could manage. Naively, I had thought that very same day I would be fine without her, but nothing was farther from the truth. I needed Alice more than air to breathe or water to drink. Knowing and feeling that I lost her, _that_ was my wake-up call.

I made the selfish choice and begged Alice to stay with me, though I knew I should let her go. For some unfathomable reason, she still wanted to be with me. All of a sudden, I wanted to live. It was like I could see a distant light at the end of a very long tunnel. It was just a tiny glimmer, but it was there. It looked like hope.

It was hard seeing Nettie the next day. I hoped and believed Alice would never lie to me, but it still made perfect sense that Alice would want someone else. Everyone liked Nettie, so why not her? They talked seriously for a while. Apparently Nettie had been doing some research all night, calling in favors at the hospital, and finding a therapist that I had agreed to see. I didn't care who it was. Initially, I just wanted to please Alice, so I agreed to go. I figured it couldn't hurt or possibly get any worse than this. I registered their names were Peter and Charlotte Berg, but not much more than that.

Nettie looked at me the same way Alice had the night before when she had seen me without clothes on. It was a look of disgust. Looking at myself in the mirror after I showered yesterday, I didn't recognize the girl I was seeing. It had to be someone else. I knew what I looked like, but the girl in the mirror didn't look like me. Funny though, the girl in the mirror had the same scars on her stomach that I did.

I flinched away from Nettie when she tried to hug me goodbye and wish me well. I did not deserve to be touched.

I called in sick for a few days before Alice went with me to my office and saw my boss, Mr. Marcus. I had been working basically since the attack, but I was probably only a hairsbreadth away from getting a pink slip. My work wasn't up to par with my usual standards by far. I knew that and I continually missed deadlines. Mr. Marcus agreed to a six months leave of absence and kept me on the personnel records, but without pay. I hated the idea of not working and making my own money, but Alice insisted that I needed that time to focus on healing. After a long debate, I finally agreed to let her support me financially during that period.

oooooOOOOooooo

"You'll be fine, sweetheart." Alice said sweetly when I left the chair in the waiting room. "I'll be right here when you're done." I was glad she had gone with me to the first session of therapy, otherwise I would never have made it to his office. Perhaps Alice knew that. I nodded silently and followed the tall slender man into his office. I flinched when the door closed behind me. I fisted my hands around my sleeves hoping to feel a little calmer. It was almost easier to be shrouded in the darkness like I had been for the past months, because now even a tiny breeze on my skin felt like a hurricane whipping past me. Every day, I was even more horribly alive and I didn't understand any of my emotions. I felt everything now and the hurt was sharper, piercing compared to the dull suffocating darkness that I was so familiar with.

He sat down across from me in a comfy chair. I curled my legs up underneath me on the sofa. The leather was very soft.

"It's nice to meet you, Jasper," he said evaluating me. I didn't answer, but stared at my hands. "Would you like something to drink?" I shook my head. He crossed his legs and smiled sympathetically at me when I dared a glance at him. "Okay, do you have any questions for me before we start?"

I evaluated for a brief moment. "What kind of work do you do? I mean, what is this place?" I knew I should have known this, but I hadn't participated when Alice and Nettie discussed options. Alice had tried to get me to join the conversation, but I hadn't been able to concentrate.

"I run this office with my wife, Charlotte. She works with sexually abused and traumatized children. I mainly work with women, who have been assaulted like you have, Jasper. I specialize in dealing with the consequences of sexually assault. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's get started. Shall we?" The phrase was rhetorical because he continued with an observant eye on me. "Could you tell me what happened? Just tell me in your own words."

My mouth went completely dry. I instantly regretted declining the drink. My body started trembling. "I can't. Not yet." Tears brimmed in my eyes.

"Let's start somewhere else, then. How about you tell me about your life. What do you like to do?"

I drew a sigh of relief. This was easy. I opened my mouth to tell Peter about this, but no words came out. "I don't do anything anymore." I whispered and tears fell heavily. Shamefully, I wiped them away.

"It's okay Jasper. This is supposed to be a sanctuary for you. There is no right or wrong to what you say here. Anything emotional goes. Try to relax just a little bit. Perhaps tell me what you liked to do before you were assaulted. Anything in particular made you happy?"

I smiled humbly. "Alice. She made me happy. She still makes me happy." I paused. "My brother, Emmett. He lacks a lot of tact, but he is fun and exciting to be around. I love my job. I am good at my job… or, at least, I used to be." I drew a deep breath and suddenly words tumbled from my lips one after the other. It was easy telling him about what I used to be like. I knew that girl very well. I liked her. I talked about my fairly uncomplicated childhood, being gay, my family and falling in love with Alice. "Before this happened, we were building a future. Everything was so bright, almost pink and lively, but the bubble burst and I don't know who I am anymore."

"Don't worry about that. We'll get you there." He smiled gently. "Perhaps it would be a good start to see your family. Confront them. You seem to miss them and you haven't seen them for a while. Have you?" He guessed. I shook my head no. "Do you think you could do that?"

"Perhaps."

"Consider it for next time." I gaped that time already seemed to be up. Peter smiled. "You did well, Jasper."

I didn't answer.

oooooOOOOooooo

The following weekend after seeing Peter, I mustered all my courage and we went home to my parents. I sat on the train glancing out the window while Alice furiously licked her teeth and fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. It was like my body had been turned inside out because I noticed things all of a sudden. Some of them were grating on my nerves. For instant Alice's persistent concern that my family would hate her irritated me. No one in the world could hate Alice.

"Stop it please, Alice." I said quietly and glanced out the window at houses whirling past us.

"They're going to hate me forever," she muttered. My lips thinned into a hard line when I looked at her again.

"Alice, stop this. You didn't do this to me. I did. Stop blaming yourself," I said softly. I was the only one to blame for my deplorable state, not her.

"I should have helped you," she countered slightly annoyed because she thought I was making excuses for her.

"You are helping me."

"I should have done it sooner," she gritted her teeth.

I sighed exasperated. "We've been over this a million times. I really don't want to rehash this argument. My family is not going to hate you."

Her hand shot out to touch me, but she pulled it back when I flinched. "You're right. I'm sorry this shouldn't be about me. I'm glad we're going to see them. I'm just a little nervous," she apologized.

I tried to smile at her, but my lips wouldn't move. "So am I, baby."

"Good thing we are stronger together," she said softly and leaned her head back against the seat. "I'll love you forever. Just remember that."

"Promise?" My heart swelled in my chest where it felt like it was going to fracture my ribcage. The girl sitting next to me was the reason for me to get better.

"Promise." Her hand moved towards my face again. "Can I?"

"Not right now." I refused. I wanted more than anything to feel her gingerly fingers on my cheek, but I was still too disgusted with myself to accept it.

At my childhood home, my mom eyed us warily when we stepped through the door. She did it like only my mom could, reading her own daughter's desperation. "Oh, sweetheart," she sighed and wiped her hands on the dishtowel. We hadn't seen them in a few months, basically because I had somehow become a master of evasion. "I'll get your father and Emmett," she said kindly. We had called in advanced, inviting ourselves for lunch. That was probably why Emmett was here too.

Emmett's loud voice could be heard throughout the house, but he silenced completely for a short moment when he saw me. "What the fuck happened to you?" he asked mortified when he laid eyes on me. I just looked down because I had been avoiding my brother for a long time. Emmett had always been there for me, perhaps even after the rape, but I loosely remembered not letting him near me mentally or physically. I used to love spending time with him, but I shut him out and pushed him away along with everyone else. It was strange how my life started to flash before me in retrospect. It wasn't easy to acknowledge how I had turned my back on everything.

We sat down at the dining table in the old, warm and comfortable living room. Tears fell from my eyes, even before I opened my mouth. My heart was pumping ferociously in my chest as I searched for the words to explain what I'd done. "I'd appreciate it if you all just let me say what I need to, so Emmett please don't interrupt me." I smiled meekly, attempting a joke to lighten the dense mood. I snorted and ran my hand covered by my sleeve under my nose. "There is really no easy way to say this. I've lied to you all, avoided you, declined your help, and I am so sorry. I need help." My voice was threadbare and I kept my eyes on the table, but I had to say this myself. Alice couldn't do it for me, no matter how much I knew she wanted to. I tried to push my tears back when I spoke quietly and ashamed about my depression. It was devastating to reveal these horrible facts of my life. "Recently, I've developed a destructive pattern to deal with the aftermath of my… uh, attack. I never sleep and I'm exhausted. I can't bear to let anyone touch me. I've hurt myself by cutting my own skin with a razor blade. I've starved myself or just not eaten, because I don't have an appetite. I don't even weigh ninety pounds right now." I paused, without looking up. "Alice and I have cancelled the wedding for the moment. We've written letters to everyone invited explaining the circumstances. I am on a leave of absence from work and I started going to therapy last week." I wiped my eyes on my sleeve after my impromptu monologue. "That's it. That's what I had to say," I muttered quietly. I waited for their retribution, but it didn't come.

They all sat still as stones around the table. One face was paler than the other. My mom shed silent tears, my dad was gaping and Emmett was fuming. Tragedy was heavy and thick all around us. What the hell was anyone supposed to say to a statement like this? There was no answer.

Mom decided to ease the tension by serving lunch. It was a welcome break. I sat alone at the table for a moment before I joined her in the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, mom," I whispered and leaned against the cupboard.

"I just don't understand why you didn't come to us sooner." Mom looked at me gravely.

"And say what? I wanted to handle this on my own."

"No one should handle anything like this on their own, sweetheart. You have a family and we all love you. We're always here for you. I wish you knew that." Mom answered. Hurt and confusion were prominent in her eyes.

"I do know that. It was just easier to hide it. I hid it from everyone, even from Alice."

Mom's eyes widened surprised. "That must not have been easy to do. You two have been pretty much set in stone from the beginning."

I bit down hard on my lip to force back another round of crying. There was just so much pain now. "I hope we still are. We cancelled the wedding, but she promises that she still loves me." My voice thickened.

"Of course she does, honey. None of it was your fault. She would never blame you for the things you have done." She picked up the knife again and started slicing the tomatoes. Quickly, she checked whatever was cooking in the oven. The smell of food wafted past my nose and it made me queasy, but I knew I had no other option but to eat. The scale clocking in at a measly eighty-eight pounds had been eye-opening. I would admit in the beginning I chose not to eat, because I could control the pain of hunger, but over time I just stopped feeling hungry at all.

I realized much too late that my mom was too close for comfort. "No, mom. Don't hug me. Just… don't!" I put my hands up in front of me to ward her off. It was just not a possibility for her to embrace me.

From outside, Emmett's voice suddenly rang loud. It was clear that he was having a go at Alice. Mom reacted immediately and fled the kitchen to help Alice, I assumed. His verbal assaults hailed down on her, but she didn't counter. She just took it until mom intervened.

After lunch, I sat on the stairs inside and watched Alice sitting on the porch and picking the pedals of a flower. "Alice?" My dad called when he emerged from the garage.

"Yes, Mr. Whitlock," she answered and glanced to her side over at him.

He smiled warmly. "My dad's been dead for twenty years. So for the hundredth time, please call me Gregg." He sat down next to her. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," she croaked. He gazed at her earnestly.

"Really, Alice?" she shook her head, and then gave in to her tears. Together, Alice and I had cried so much over the last week. The pool of tears just seemed endless. I hated how I caused her so much pain. That it was absolutely my fault that she wasn't just happy and bubbly like she should be.

"I'm so sorry Mr.…. uh, Gregg. I'm so sorry that I let this happen. I should have taken better care of her," she sobbed. He put his arm around her shoulder and shushed her. I leaned my head against the railing and just watched as she leaned tiredly into his arm. I knew she was emotionally exhausted too.

"It's okay, sweetheart. It's not your fault. Not at all." He comforted kindly. "Have you talked to your own parents about this?"

I could sense her eye roll even with her back to me. She wiped the tears with the back of her hand. "What do you think?" She paused. "That would be a no. My mom sent me a few letters after my first fashion show claiming that they were sorry for how things were between us and they missed me. Funny how that apology fell a little flat when she then leaped into a tirade on where they went wrong in raising me and what they did incorrectly to make me choose such an incomprehensible path for my life. They don't understand why I can't just forget this nonsense. That's what she calls Jasper, nonsense! My mom doesn't understand why I can't just find someone to be suitable as a husband. She even rudely offered that we could forget the whole thing that happened that night at the show. I would be welcome in their home again… if I had a boyfriend." she snorted. "Like not choosing Jasper was ever an option," she mumbled sardonically. I smiled hearing her sweet words. "She is so hung up on things like details between Jasper and I that are just SO none of her business. No matter who I was with, it would still be none of her damn business," she ranted. "I just don't understand them. Why does it matters so much who or how I love?" Her shoulders tensed and clearly anger blossomed inside of her.

She had been so mad when those letters came. I read them all. I wasn't the least bit surprised by their contents, because I had been prepared for their disapproval back then. Alice though, had been very hurt. "My parents said some really degrading and disrespectful things about Jasper, blaming her for ruining my life. She has no idea who my girlfriend is as a person. She has no clue how kind, witty, understanding and sweet she is. Mom had no right to trash her like that." By the sound of Alice's voice, it was clear she was giving into her own desperation right now. The floodgates opened as she unloaded on my father. "I haven't seen them since and frankly they don't even have the right to know that she is sick. I won't give them the luxury of knowing she is in pain. They don't deserve to know."

Dad gave her shoulder a small squeeze bringing her out of her anger spiral. "I still say it's their loss. You're an extraordinary girl, Alice." He rubbed his chin with his free hand. "As a father, it makes me happy and relieved to see my daughter so loved, especially now when times are so challenging," he smiled a little sad smile at her. He pulled a folded piece of paper from his chest pocket and handed it to her. She unfolded it and stared at it.

"A check for ten thousand dollars!" she gasped with disbelief. I even gasped, spying on their conversation. I quietly opened the screen door and let it close soundlessly behind me.

"I don't know how else to help you two. With Jasper not working for a while and the therapy, you're going to need that. I just hope I can relieve you of some of your worries. I know that doesn't cover your expenses by far, but I hope it is a start for you or somewhere soft to land if things get tougher. Don't you dare offer to pay that back."

"I can't take your money, dad." I said quietly from behind them. The dull braid was slung over my shoulder where I fiddled with the dry and split ends.

Dad smiled deviously at me. "I didn't give it to you. I gave it to Alice. There is nothing for you to decline."

"Thank you… Gregg." Alice mouthed carefully. I knew that we should turn the offer down, but right now it was a godsend and we would need the cash somewhere along the way. We had a little nest egg in our own savings, but I was realistic enough to realize that we would feel the consequence of my missing paycheck. That was the main reason I wanted to keep working. I hated putting the financial strain solely on Alice.

Dad stood up and tried to stroke my hair when he passed me. I flinched away from him instantly. He said nothing, but it was clear that little instinctive motion broke his heart.

Alice folded up the check and stuffed it into her summer jacket pocket. I sat down next to her. "I told you they wouldn't hate you." She cocked a snide brow at me and I smiled thinly, but nothing that reached my eyes. "Okay, but Emmett is not one to carry a grudge. He gets over things pretty quickly." I murmured.

"Thanks, baby." She smiled gratefully at me. "Can I hold your hand?"

I nodded and she laced her fingers into mine. Her hand was warm. Then I realized it was my hand that was so cold. It was a warm day, but I was freezing. I wore six layers of shirts today and I was still cold.

oooooOOOOooooo

Just like I suspected, Emmett quickly recovered from his tantrum where he flipped out on Alice. He had his own way of helping. He was all about physique and exercise, like he always had been. A few days had passed since we were at our parents before Emmett showed up at our door. He started taking me out a couple of times every week. At first, I was apprehensive because I didn't want the exercise to drain what little energy that I did have, but I was proven wrong. Emmett showed a different and much softer side than I was aware he had. He met me at my level and where I could manage it. In the beginning, it was just short walks then it progressed to slow jogging. He never complained or pushed me too far. It was like he was nursing me physically the same way Alice doing mentally. After a few weeks, I dipped into the spare cash from dad and bought a pair of running shoes. Emmett helped me get the right ones. I wanted to try to build up my strength. I realized quickly the exercise only spruced me to have more energy and it helped me sleep at night. I slept better simply because I was physically tired. Running also helped my appetite. After a trip, I would feel hungry and not be disgusted with the food. I was able to eat it like I used to, perhaps even more. I would sometimes scarf down two whole plates of food for dinner, basically as much as Emmett consumed and he was a mountain of a man.

By my fourth therapy session, I was finally able to give Peter a rundown of what happened the night _he_ attacked me. At first, I was just numb going through the episode, but then I became hysterical. Alice had to hold me all night to keep me fairly calm. Her fingers running through my hair was soothing. It was the first time that I really let her comfort me. I let her a little bit closer that night.

Only once had I harmed myself after starting therapy. I had done it one night when Alice was asleep. I had a nightmare and needed to dull the pain of him touching me. However, this time when I felt the sharp pain of the blade, I didn't get a sense of relief. Not at all. I felt that I betrayed my whole world doing this. It was suddenly crystal clear how wrong this was. I dumped the razor in the sink and woke up Alice. I broke down and cried. She deserved better. When she chose to stay with me, she should have the best Jasper she could get. Not one that deceived and lied to her.

"It's okay, baby." She shushed me. I let her hug me and it felt indescribable to have her comfort me. "I'm so proud of you. It's just a little set back. Nothing to worry about," She whispered. "Let's get you cleaned up." I glanced down at my pants where the sticky blood was soaking the thick fabric of my sweats.

With my iPod that Emmett procured and filled with music, running became another refuge for me. It was a time where it was safe to dig into some of the pain from my attack. I could somehow channel my anger and resentment with myself into pushing further. Within months, I had strangely built up the ability to run ten miles. Feeling like I was accomplishing something made me feel strong and I fed off that emotion. The latest development was Emmett betting me if I could run the New York marathon in November of the following year. Alice thought he was downright insane, but I wanted more than anything to prove Emmett wrong. I wanted to make him eat his words when he said there was no way I would finish.

Emmett changed the locks on our door with a solid deadbolt that would keep an exploding grenade on the outside. Bella, Alice and I stared at him with disbelief. He did what boys do best - played with large tools. Without any of our permission, he signed all of us up for self-defense classes. Every Thursday night, we learned how to kick nuts, break fingers, poke eyeballs and shove the nasal ridges of perpetrators into their brains. He also volunteered every time to be our punching bag. I could easily see his point. Emmett was making sure his girls were as safe as we could be. That's what we all were to him – his girls.

For me, this was a major hurdle that needed to be crossed. I had to swallow my fear, relearn how to touch people and let them touch me. I had to see myself differently and push back my disgust with my body to participate. Slowly, I let my guard down and grew more comfortable. I was able to allow Alice to hold my hand now without her asking for permission for the most part. Other people, friends, and especially strangers were continuously an issue.

Alice still monitored my weight and I allowed her to without getting too cranky about it. The numbers were climbing. I would slowly notice small changes in my physique. My legs were gaining some muscle definition and the skin on my back would seem smoother. My arms weren't as frail anymore. There was just a slight hint of bone around my ribs, not the dramatic display of a skeleton that I had seen when I first realized how thin I was. Alice sometimes looked for fresh cut marks, but they were all healed now. During this study, she gently touched me without asking first. I didn't recoil from her anymore.

She smiled all bubbly and giggly the day that a small roll of skin toppled over the waistband of my ridiculously small size jeans. "I'm liking this," she beamed and pinched the ripple of flesh as I was getting ready to get on the scale.

I smiled, one I could feel reached my eyes. "What? You want me fat?" I asked and cocked a brow.

"Just healthy, my love," she answered and checked the scale. I had gained another pound and a half over the last two weeks. I was one hundred and four pounds now. "Take your shower." I still showered twice a day as a part of my routine. My nightly shower was often necessary because I had been out running and was soaked in sweat, but the nights that I didn't exercise I would still do it. It wasn't half an hour sessions anymore, but just a quick trip under the spray. It helped managing and accepting what he had done to me. It was like I could wash it off me.

To have something to get up to every morning, I started going into work with Alice. The first week, I basically just sat and stared dazed out the window. Slowly, I started to get annoyed at her disorganization with her work. She didn't pay much attention to me while she designed, but escaped into a world where she made her visions come true. To fill the time with something, I started putting her things into order. So one day when she pulled out a folder needing to find an old pattern in her chaos of a system, she figured out what I had been doing. All the patterns I had marked with numbers, neatly folded, and categorized with images of what design they belonged to. Everything was in a strict and rigorous order. I even made an index for the damn folders.

"Talk about control, Jasper. You did this?"

I just smiled gleefully at her and continued my game of solitaire on the computer.

"You're pretty awesome. You know that." She stated and I smiled.

The next thing that I updated was her webpage, then her fabric swatches. I had always been organized with my work and I kept Alice's stuff in strict order now.

Alice sometimes participated in my therapy sessions. We both agreed to this because we felt it was the most efficient way for us both to know what was going on. It was good for us to attend together at times. Alice and I never had secrets and neither of us wanted to start now.

In the beginning, Alice started to doubt the effects of therapy because at times I seemed to cry more, while acting more erratic and distraught. Peter caught her building apprehension and told her to trust his medical expertise. I needed to get these things out. Crying and being hysterical at times was just a vessel to get rid of my frustrations. It was better than to lock them up like I had been doing. He said that I was in safe hands with him and I trusted him. I needed to be pulled apart for him to put me back together again.

When Alice participated in therapy, we talked about our lives together. We left no stone unturned. We talked about our relationship before I was attacked. We talked about our hopes and dreams for the future. We even talked about the sex life that we used to have. Peter made me see that Alice didn't need it. She didn't need me to touch her or show her my awkward one-sided version of intimacy. I dimly remembered being intimate with her, but it was so far from how we used to be together. I wouldn't tolerate her touching me. For the six months that I had been in therapy, we hadn't touched each other at all.

oooooOOOOooooo

The ache in my lungs was magnificent as the asphalt whirled past my feet. I pushed myself further. I loved the sensation of the burn in my muscles, knowing I beat _him_ down once more. Just to wring the last speck of elation from this powerful feeling of winning, I took the long way around our block. Just to prove how little control _he_ had over me now.

I grabbed the railing to the stairs, folding over, trying to catch my breath for a moment. Sweat was dripping from my face, even in this icy cold. I glanced upward seeing the lights were on in the apartment. I smiled as the world outside dimmed and was shrouded in the winter darkness.

Light. That was what Alice was to me. She was my light through all of this. Had it not been for her, I would never have found my way through this maze of darkness. Not that everything was peachy and perfect. I still had a truckload of issues, but she made the light at the end of the tunnel travel just a little bit closer every day.

I ran up the stairs itching to see Alice. I had been with Bella most of the day helping her out at the bookstore. My life wasn't the only one that had changed. Bella had become a shop owner recently and needed help managing everything. I was glad to help out while I could. It was only two weeks until I went back to work again. I was looking forward to that, but also slightly scared. It was a big step.

"Hey," I yelled when I stepped in the door. I was immediately greeted by squeals of childish joy and Alice calling back.

"Hey, baby."

I stepped out of my filthy and used running shoes and wiped my dripping nose with the back of my hand. It was freaking cold outside. I pulled off my gloves, hat and jacket and turned off my iPod. I had changed the music since Emmett gave it to me. I found classical music so much easier to run to. I didn't have to match my pace to the heavy beat of a tune.

The kitchen was filled with the soothing smell of lasagna bubbling in the oven. Alice was busy chopping up a salad. Elizabeth sat on the counter trying to chew a piece of cucumber with her four teeth and Bella was grumbling over some papers. I smiled feeling warm inside.

I gazed at the huge bowl of salad and the considerable size of the lasagna in the oven. "Emmett's coming?" I guessed.

"Yes, and you've been running." Alice smiled and inclined a knowing manicured brow at me. That would more than double the amount of food.

"I'm starving." I gazed at her beautiful face for a moment. "I missed you." I said in a low hushed voice. I kept staring confused at Alice for a moment before I leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't really something we did anymore, but strangely I needed to now. Her mouth was so soft and the faint smell of her lip-gloss befuddled me. I pulled back a little and peered into her striking eyes. I closed my eyes feeling confident and tasted her lips again. My heart started pounding in my chest and I couldn't figure out why, but I couldn't let go of her mouth just yet. It was so unearthly soft and tender. Without thinking about it I gently tried to coax her lips apart, just wanting a slight brush of her tongue. She let me. She reciprocated gently and kissed me back with so much love that I basically wanted to cry. It was like the blood in my veins started humming. Did it always feel like this when kissing her?

I brushed her mouth one final time and just gazed astonished at her then I felt a small unexplainable smile curl at the corners of my mouth. "How long until dinner?"

"Fifteen minutes." Alice answered, while looking at me with an odd, but content look.

"I'll shower." I blinked a few times, letting reality filter into my world again. It like several minutes was just sucked from my life, but it could only have been a few seconds.

Elizabeth started blabbering noises and I was efficiently back in our kitchen. Bella was also staring at me. I felt my face heat when I turned to the baby. Elizabeth waved her cucumber stick at me and I took a small bite. "Thank you, sweetie," she squealed joyfully again.

As I found a clean set of clothes in our room, I heard Bella's hushed voice. "That was nice to see." I glanced over my shoulder and saw Alice and Bella share meaningful looks that I didn't understand.

I turned the water off and dried. I shrugged into my yoga pants last when Emmett's loud voice pounded through the apartment. "Where is my favorite girl?" Elizabeth grinned with delight several times. I smiled. Elizabeth and Emmett were almost inseparable.

I blow dried my hair and threw it into a messy bun. I didn't bother to do anything else with it. I was just so long. I sat down at the table with the others and my stomach snarled loudly. I tucked into my food and helped myself to a second serving. The others chatted animatedly and I just listened for a while.

"Why are you here anyway, Emmett?" I asked after a while, finishing my second round of lasagna.

"And you say that I'm bad mannered?" He bantered and laughed. I just rolled my eyes.

Bella chewed and swallowed. "We were going to watch a movie. You wanna join?"

"Sure, if it's not Emmett's pick." I taunted and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Hey! For your information, I have great taste in movies." He threw me a dirty look and bared his teeth in a ridiculous growl.

"I'm not sure porn and slasher movies actually qualify as taste, Emmett," Alice mocked.

"You better watch it, Pixie," he warned with a grin, clearly enjoying the sardonic taunting.

Emmett and Alice cleaned after dinner, arguing and bickering over nothing, while I sat on the floor and played with Elizabeth. I never had a problem with her soft childish hand touching me. With her, it was different and safe.

Bella was still sweating over some paperwork from the bookstore, being thrown out of her comfort zone. She wanted to learn everything about running the store and not just ship it off to my dad, though I had offered countless times.

I changed Elizabeth into her one-piece rainbow pajamas and got her cleaned for bed. I wanted to give Bella some space to finish her work. Elizabeth was also getting grumpy, irritated and tired, while rubbing her eyes.

"Good day?" Emmett asked when he leaned over the back of the couch. He was never very verbose about my feelings, but he always asked in that simple way.

"Yes," I replied, my answer was always as simple as his question. Yes or no. I could hear rather than see his smile and then he kissed my hair briefly. I controlled the urge to flinch at the contact.

"Come here, baby Bells." He lifted Elizabeth off my lap and snuggled with her on the other couch. He opened the Winnie the Pooh book and Elizabeth patted his cheek. "Yeah, Yeah. Uncle Emmett needs a shave." He answered simply and started to read. The baby settled stomach to stomach with him and her eyes grew droopy instantly. She nuzzled into his neck with her fingers curled into his hair. This was their repertoire.

"Put her to bed before she falls asleep, Emmett," Bella scolded from the kitchen. "It's a hassle getting her in bed when you're not here." Emmett ignored her completely and kissed the curly bronze baby hair. It was awfully cute to watch my burly brother with the baby snuggled comfortably on his chest.

Alice emerged holding out options of movies. Emmett stopped stroking Elizabeth, who was snoring soundly on his chest, and muttered. "No fucking way."

"Good thing that you don't live here then. You don't get a vote!" she dismissed pointedly and turned to me, beaming with glee. I rolled my eyes at their usual banter. Underneath all their hostility was a profound respect for each other. This was just their game.

I pointed to the one that was the most action packed, taking pity on Emmett. Alice put the DVD in and sat down next to me.

"God, Emmett. You are not helping or making my life easier. I told you to put her in bed." Bella grumbled and peeled the sleeping baby from him his chest. Elizabeth whined in her sleep as Bella took her in her arms and vanished into her room to tuck her into bed.

"What? It's not my fault she dozed off." He grinned playfully, knowing she would do precisely that. She did it every time he was here, which was often.

Bella was back and sat down putting her feet over Emmett's lap. He looked at me. "How far did you run today?"

"Sixteen and a half mile." I answered.

"Bad ass." He nodded approvingly.

"Shut up, Emmett. The movie is starting," Alice admonished. Emmett was about to open his mouth, but Alice efficiently silenced him with a fierce glare. I smiled and gazed at Alice. I chewed my cheek for a moment, before I decided I was brave enough to initiate a little contact. I laid my head in her lap and nestled on the couch. Alice propped her feet up on the coffee table slouching down. She smiled widely at me, so sweet and kind.

"Can I?" she asked with her hand hovering just above my neck. I nodded at turned my eyes to the screen.

"Emmett, get your feet off the damn table," I complained when he blocked the screen.

"What's your fucking problem? Alice has her feet on the table."

"She wears a dainty size five and a half and you have what… a size sixteen? They're the size of canoes."

Emmett's smile broadened and he grinned wickedly, but pulled them back down.

Alice's delicate fingers twirled the band out of my hair and she started running her fingers through it repeatedly. Sometimes, she stroked the skin at my neck absentmindedly. It felt so soothing.

I casually glanced at Emmett and Bella because she kept shifting between giggling and grumbling, then kicking Emmett's hands away when he was making an effort to annoy her. As I watched my makeshift family, I suddenly felt hopeful, but also a little on the outside, not really part of the gang. I closed my eyes for a moment and relished this blissful feeling of my girlfriend's fingers toying with my hair.

"Wake up, sweetheart." Alice called gently. "Let's go to bed." I peeled my eyes open. I looked around confused, realizing I'd fallen asleep. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. "Hey, sleepyhead." Alice smiled softly. I looked around seeing Bella was gone and Emmett snoring lightly on the couch. I got up and brushed my teeth getting ready for bed. I placed a blanket over Emmett, so he wouldn't get cold because he wouldn't resurface until morning.

I sat down on the bed and stole a rare look at Alice when she changed into a cami and silk shorts. Her skin looked so soft and smooth. I crawled into bed and Alice curled to her side "Night baby. I love you," she muttered and yawned.

"Promise?"

"Promise," she whispered and turned to her side with her back to me.

"Goodnight." I answered, suddenly feeling wide awake. Surreptitiously, I followed Alice's breathing calming and deepening. I knew exactly how she sounded when she was in deep sleep. I had spent an endless amount of nights just listening and counting her breaths when she was unconscious. I moved a little closer to her. We didn't touch when we slept, but we stayed at each side of the bed like an old married couple.

She rolled to her back after a while and her lips parted. Her hair splayed over her pillow in soft curly chunks. She was so beautiful. I pulled the cover slowly down to her waist. The deep purple of the silk was a pretty color against her pale skin. I touched the strap of her top, skimming my fingers over her collarbone. Her skin was as smooth as the fabric. I felt the same warmth inside of me by looking at her now as I did in the kitchen when I kissed her earlier today. I brushed my fingers down her torso to the hem of her top. It was riding slightly up her midriff exposing parts of her belly. I placed my palm on her soft stomach, being surprised that I felt hotter inside. My blood was rising, beckoning for something. I bit the inside of my cheek and very carefully slipped my hand under the fabric. I gasped feeling the velvety texture of her body. She was so amazing. She stirred slightly and hummed, but didn't wake up. With a hammering heart, I dared to run my hand over her breast, setting my hand at her side, feeling her breath come and go. Why was I suddenly having this burning sensation in my body?

"I love you," I whispered. She didn't respond or wake. I snuck closer, letting my body meet hers and snuggled into the crook of her neck. I closed my eyes, inhaling her scent, feeling suddenly safe and hopeful. It was overwhelming.

oooooOOOOooooo

Peter smiled as we sat down. "Anything specific you want to talk about today?"

I hesitated for a brief moment. "How am I doing so far?"

"Better than what can be expected in my opinion," he answered kindly. "How do you feel?"

"Better. I enjoy doing different stuff now. I remember my days now or conversations that I have had. Yesterday, I played with Elizabeth for an hour and hung out with my family. It was nice. Elizabeth laughed and was so carefree. I was jealous." I smiled a little at the memory of her sparkling green eyes and her chubby dimpling cheeks.

"How old is Elizabeth now?"

"Thirteen months. She sort of started to walk or more wobbling around holding on to the furniture." I laughed.

"So she's a handful?"

I shrugged. "Not really, just exploring the world around her. Though, she does get into everything. I like to be around her because her world is so uncomplicated."

"An adult life is never uncomplicated, Jasper. There will always be a lot of emotions thrown into one mix and normally we can sort them all out on our own, but when you were attacked all your emotions were short-circuited. Everything inside of you went haywire. For a while, you haven't been wired like you once were. Give yourself a chance to figure your emotions again. Give yourself a little space to recognize how you feel. You need to learn how to distinguish between different emotions again. You sort of need to get your wiring back on track. Does that make any sense to you?"

I nodded. "A lot, actually." I paused. Perhaps that was often why I was so confused, especially about how I had felt last night being close to Alice.

"Jasper, you have come a long way. You have begun to accept what happened to you and you have started to put it behind you by now. For you to come back from your depression with such force is impressive. I think you can thank yourself for that. You have a drive and a thirst for life again and you are working very hard to get that back. You should be proud of yourself. Don't doubt it."

"Thanks, Peter." I smiled feeling a little overwhelmed by his praise.

"I can see you have something else on your mind?" His eyes were kindly on me. He knew me well by now.

I nodded unsure how to approach the subject, but after Peter's words it was suddenly blinking like neon in my head. "I want my life back, Peter. I want all of it."

"Then go out there and get it, Jasper. You are the only one who can do that."

oooooOOOOooooo

**I hope to see a comment or two below. Thanks for reading.**

**Next chapter will probably be the last… at least I think so. It should be posted next Friday or Monday at the latest. **

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you. **

**A/N:**

**I know I kept threatening that this would be the last chapter… but to a select few this may please you. I will follow up with an epilogue when I have that put together. So for now the final chapter, please enjoy.**

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**After Year One and a Half…**

After kissing Alice a few nights ago in the kitchen, I was awakened again, but in a whole different way, one that I wasn't prepared for. It took me a few days to realize what was happening, but now I understood. It was frustrating as hell, because I had to clue how to go about the whole thing. I watched her secretly at night. Whenever she changed her clothes, I had my eyes glued to her body. She was less flamboyant now and more considerate about showing off her body. I figured it was because of me. I wished it was like old days when she would scamper about in nothing but her underwear or even naked.

My current problem was intimacy. I wanted it, I longed for it, but reaching out and grasping it was a terrifying obstacle. For a while, I had settled for watching her or touching her in secret when she slept. It was creepy as hell, but it was the only way that I could manage it. The wheels were working furiously in my head on how to approach her about perhaps making love again.

I did have the courage on occasion to kiss her and she always reciprocated. It felt incredible.

"I have an idea, Jasper," Alice said gently, running her pink tongue over her front teeth. I stared mesmerized at her, while warmth unfurled in my stomach. I was done with my shower and drying my hair. Alice sat on the bed.

"What's that?" I asked and dumped the towel on a chair. I grabbed my brush, yanking at the knots in my hair.

"It's Saturday. I was thinking maybe we could take a walk and perhaps pass by the bar for a quick drink," she asked carefully, while evaluating my reaction.

My mouth fell open and I instantly felt a tremor of panic run over my skin. The thought of all the people, the noise, alcohol, and the exposure had me thrown for a moment. My throat tightened and it became harder to breathe. My thoughts wandered to Peter and our last conversation.

"_I want my life back, Peter. I want all of it."_

"_Then go out there and get it, Jasper. You are the only one who can do that."_

His words rang loud in my head. None one was going to claim my life back, but me. Alice's eyes rested on me, unwavering. "I could try," I mouthed carefully. I took a few deliberate breaths feeling a fraction calmer.

Alice's brows shot up. "Really?"

I nodded in response and bit the inside of my cheek. I pushed my immediate fear back and willed myself to focus on getting ready instead. I blow-dried and straightened my hair a bit and put it into a long ponytail. I applied a bit of make-up with slightly shaky hands. I crammed myself into a pair of skinny jeans that I hadn't worn in like forever, feeling how tight they were around my thighs. I ransacked the closet for some kind of top to wear. I had nothing.

"It doesn't matter what you put on, just wear a t-shirt," Alice offered. She was all done, looking cute and adorable in her short dress and brightly colored leggings. I felt a little out of sorts, because all I wore now were yoga pants and running shoes. I needed new clothes, especially since I was going back to work Monday, a week from now. I pulled out a black long sleeved tee and a top to wear underneath. I was comfortable in that.

oooooOOOOooooo

"Holy shit! I must be seeing things. Wow, Jasper! I am so happy to see you," Nettie gushed exuberantly when I walked through the door to the bar behind Alice. My hand was firmly in hers. She had promised not to let go. I was still battling the anxiety of being out in public.

"Hi," I breathed, uncertain of when we closed in. Feeling somewhat restrained, I accepted the hug from Nettie. I was surprised when it actually felt nice to receive her simple gesture. Behind Nettie, Maria was gawking at me.

"I have no words what to say, but I think you know how I feel," Maria said and looked almost teary eyed. When the hell did she get so soft? "It is so great to see you," she said warmly, but didn't try to hug me. I smiled gratefully, not knowing how to respond. I hadn't expected a welcoming like this. It was touching. I glanced at Alice who beamed innocently at me. I expected it wasn't a coincidence both Maria and Nettie were here.

Alice chose a booth for us to sit in. In the past, we normally always stayed at the bar, but that was the busiest place and this was much more to my taste right now. Slowly, I was able to relax a little and join the conversation. I even laughed. Alice kept her promise and held my hand for the first hour. After a while, I felt confident enough to let go and visit the bathroom for a moment.

"So sorry I'm late, guys." A high-pitched female voice sounded. Maria's face lit up as she greeted the newcomer with a kiss. "Hi," she mused and turned to Alice and me. "I'm Lucy. Scoot your ass over," she said to Maria. She was like a whirlwind rushing through the bar – all fresh and happy.

"Seems like I missed quite a bit," I said carefully and smiled at Maria, then eyed her new girlfriend, or perhaps she wasn't new at all. I wouldn't know.

"That you did," she agreed and lifted her glass a toast. "Glad you're back, though. It's really is good to see you. And you look amazing, by the way."

"Oh, did you go somewhere?" Lucy turned attentively to me, expecting an answer.

"Yeah, I did. Nowhere exciting though," I defused immediately. I looked at Alice for a short moment, wondering why she was so quiet. She just sat still and smiled happily at me. I locked my fingers into hers over my thigh. The conversation flowed after that, but the bar started filling and getting crowded. The night was peeking and so was my anxiety with all the guests.

"We should go," Alice said not long after that, reading me perfectly. I nodded gratefully. Just as we were about to leave Alice's hand tightened around mine viciously. Her entire body tensed and anger rolled down her back. She was never one for obvious detest, but when I looked down at the horde of people, I noticed the problem. Leah walked in. Since that day with the photos, Alice abhorred Leah with a vengeance. For a fraction of a second, I wondered if Alice would get physical or start a bar brawl.

Leah spotted us immediately. "Let's just go, Alice," I said, hoping to defuse her rage.

"Yeah, I suddenly lost my appetite… thirst… whatever," she hissed under her breath.

"Looks like we're about to have a show," Maria drawled from the table. I turned to her and rolled my eyes. I really didn't need this. It had been so much fun to be out with friends. I didn't want it ruined.

"You look well." Leah smirked at me in a passing, while ignoring Alice completely. That irritated me.

Alice almost growled at her. "No thanks to you," she hissed. Leah smiled coldly, looking quite smug.

"Let me handle this," I whispered wanting to settle this once and for all. It had been going on for more than a year and a half now. I raised my voice, finding the same strength that I tapped into while running. "Leah, I meant to thank you for sending those pictures. Without your interference, I would never have realized what it means to truly love someone and be loved in return. Alice and I are stronger than ever. You did us a big favor. Thanks!" I said too sweetly. Just to rub salt in Leah's wounded ego, I kissed my girlfriend.

"Fuck you, Jasper!" Leah spat tartly.

"You wish!" Alice and I incidentally threw back at the same time. The people at the table roared with laughter. I took the last swig of my soda, while finishing up to go. It really did feel great to be out for a little while, even though my anxiety was hardly tamed right now, especially with Leah here.

"Uhm, Maria. That invitation you got for our wedding, make that a plus one. It was nice to meet you, Lucy," I said and locked my hand into Alice's familiar fingers. Lucy was outgoing and funny, just the kind of person with the ability to entertain a crowd with her unsubtle humor. She was very likeable.

At home, I snuggled into the sheets giving into my fears and trembled. I was overwhelmed and shocked that we actually went out. "You were so strong, sweetheart," Alice breathed, running her fingers through my hair to soothe me. She always did that now when I was pushed out of my element.

"Please just hold me," I requested shakily. I wrapped my hands around her waist and rested my hand on her chest. I didn't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have Alice to comfort me when things got to be too much. It took a little while, but Alice's gentle fingers running through my hair and the quiet rise and fall of her chest every time she took a breath managed to lull me into a deep sleep.

I was pulled back and forth between erotic dreams. At first, it was just faceless people all washed into a blur of warmth, but slowly the grainy texture of my images smoothed and the face was only one person - Alice. Her face, her mouth, and her eyes were my focus. I distinctively remembered the sloppy dark ponytail that I gave her the first time we made love. Our mouths connected and the unique alluring scent of female flesh lingered on her lips. Her body was warm, her face was flushed, and her eyes were alight with lust and victory…

I drew a deep breath and opened my eyes. In a split second, I was jolted back to present time. I glanced beside me where Alice had her back to me with her head resting in her hand. Her hair was chaotic and heavy chunks of tresses were splayed over her pillow. Not in the ponytail I had just seen in… my dream. I closed my eyes for a moment and remembered what I had been dreaming about. I smiled gently feeling a tinge of resolve running through me. My skin was heated and sensitive and I had a strange ache between my legs. I remembered that twinge and squirmed my legs together searching for friction to dull it. It didn't help, but only made it worse.

I glanced at the fluid skin between Alice's shoulder blades. Perhaps, I could do this. Maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I tried to make a pass at her. I chewed the inside of my cheek and rolled up behind her. "What are you reading?" I asked her softly when I noticed the book. I let my fingers graze her skin, pulling her hair behind her shoulder. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the gentle pressure of my mouth against the crook of her neck. The smell of her was intoxicating. I was sure that I could do this. Latent parts of my body were waking to attention now.

"Helmut Lang," she murmured and turned the page. I heard her sigh softly. I crept closer to her and let my fingers brush down her arm. I was glad to feel a small amount of my skin pressed against her. I had grown comfortable enough to sleep in a regular t-shirt and pajama pants. I didn't hide under tons of fabric anymore. I kissed her shoulder once more and closed her book. "That's actually rude," she muttered, admonishing me. I couldn't hide my smile.

"I would like to think that I would be more interesting in bed than Helmut," I mused close to her ear. "There is something that I would like to talk to you about," I said carefully after a moment. Alice rolled to her back and locked eyes with me.

"What's on your mind, sweetheart?"

I hesitated when I couldn't find the right words. How the hell was I suppose to articulate something like this? Was I just supposed to blurt out that I was feeling a bit needy? I kept playing the pads of my fingers over her lips for a long time. I leaned down and put my mouth to hers. It took a moment before I was brave enough to let my tongue invade her mouth. Alice was careful and soft, when our tongues slowly started dancing. She let me control the kiss. I pulled back, warily gazing down at her. "That was nice," she breathed.

"I miss you, baby," I murmured, finding a few words to express my feelings.

"Me too."

"Do you miss making love?" I asked quietly. I felt so vulnerable stepping into this minefield. I was nervous as hell and it was the first time the subject was brought up in a long time. She ran her tongue over her teeth a few times before she answered.

"I do," she answered tentatively, but honestly. I leaned down for another kiss. This time I added more depth and our tongues mingled, while caressing and swirling. The taste of her mouth was as sweet as ever. The ache in the pit of my stomach intensified, begging for something. I pulled back and peered down at her loving eyes. "Will you tell me what this is about?" she asked. I raked my teeth over my bottom lip hard, knowing I had to push through my own discomfort and throw how I was feeling out into the open.

"I've been thinking about this for a few days now. I want to try, Alice. I want us to try to make love again. If you want to, that is." I held my breath, while trying to control my blossoming anxiety. What if she didn't want to ever again? What if the passion between us died the day I was attacked and it wasn't just gone for a while?

"Are you ready for that?" she reached up and stroked my face. I didn't flinch at all, only leaned into her hand.

"I'm not sure, but I can't really figure it out until we try." I hesitated. "I want you again, Alice." I moved my hand down and started stroking her stomach while kissing her again, making an honest and careful pass at her.

"I love you so much, Jasper," she whispered into mouth. "We can try, but let's take it really, really slow, okay?"

I pulled back a little. "Okay," I whispered. We nestled into each other's arms and let the kiss slowly build. Kissing Alice now and feeling her body leaning against mine caused warmth to spread through me intensely. I savored the feeling of her skin underneath my hands. I pushed her top up, while exposing more and more of her skin. I played my fingers over her breasts, just touching her. She spread her legs a little and let my hip grind into her crotch. Her breath grew deeper and the long lost, but yet so familiar sound of her moans filled the room.

Her fingers were splayed firmly into my hair and holding my mouth to hers as her kiss grew more wanting. At least, that was what it felt like. She parted her legs wider, while grinding against me. Had it always been this easy to get a mood going between us? I thought so, but I wasn't sure.

I forced her top over her head letting the mood control me. Pulling my mouth from hers, I let my lips slip down the column of her throat continuing further south. Our fingers linked together. Alice pushed her chest towards my face when I ran my tongue between her breasts. The blood was whooshing strongly through my veins, making my pulse hammer in my temples. I listened to her exaggerated breath and moans, as I teased the hardened tip of her breast with my mouth.

I unlocked our hands. Her palms drew under my shirt, while playing over the skin on my back carefully. I trailed my fingers down her side. Locking my fingers into her silk shorts and panties. Her panting was suddenly so loud that it drowned out everything else, even the words she was saying. Her loud groan suddenly sounded threatening, instead of her usual soft moans.

"No, baby," she refused. Her hand covered mine the same time that I looked up at her confused. I froze and registered what she was actually saying. I focused on her face when fear jolted through my body without limitations. I coiled backwards on the bed needing her hands off my skin.

I sat at the foot of the bed staring confused at Alice. Her breathing was slightly ragged as she evaluated me in with a strange frown on her face. I realized that it wasn't her who was breathing so loud. It was me. My skin prickled with fear. Alice had said no. It dawned on me that I wasn't worthy. She didn't want me! I truly knew I was damaged and didn't deserve to feel this bond with her.

"Jasper slow down," she said carefully and reached for my hand. _'Slow down? Slow down… what?_ I didn't understand. I held my palms up in front of me warding her off, needing her to leave me alone. She didn't want to be intimate. She didn't want this lustful passion between us. My insides were completely disheveled. I couldn't figure out what the hell just happened. First, she says _yes, _then she says _no_?

Slowly through a haze of memories, I realized that I was insanely aroused, but how could anyone want me? I was ruined. Alice knew that too. I was unworthy and ridiculous thinking there was even a possibility for us to be intimate again. I was so stupid thinking I was desirable after what _he_ did to me.

Panic started etching my skin and I needed to do something to deal with the piercing attack of pain. "Talk to me, Jasper," Alice mouthed while her eyes were darkening with sadness.

"There is nothing to say."

"Don't shut me out," Alice begged.

I rushed off the bed and quickly scoured through the closet for a pair of track pants, a bra, shirts and socks. "Just leave it alone, Alice." I refused harshly when I realized I couldn't deal with her right now. I needed the pain to go away before I could handle anything else. Quickly, I changed out of my nightwear and threw on my running gear.

"Please, Jasper. It doesn't mean anything."

I whirled around to face her, resenting her for throwing such a big fat lie at me, because what just happened meant everything. I wasn't worthy nor did she want me. Those where the facts! "Just shut the fuck up, Alice!" I spat at her. The last thing that I saw before I slammed the door behind me was Alice's gaping and hurt face.

Outside, I turned on my iPod and turned the volume far up. I didn't bother to take it slow warming up, but idiotically forced my body into a full on sprint. I hated Alice couldn't just be honest with me and tell me she didn't want to try after all. How could she be so deceitful by telling me she wanted to make love when in reality, she didn't? We normally never lied to each other, so why did she do that today? I didn't understand.

I needed to kill the pain suffocating me. If I hadn't found a refuge in running, I knew exactly what I would be doing right now. I would be sitting in the bathroom with a razorblade in my hand letting the sharp edge lick my skin continually.

I ran as fast as I could, while letting the dull burn that I controlled consume my lungs. I just ran without rhyme or reason and the streets whirled past me in a dense blur of the dawn. Passing the limit to how much my body could tolerate, I began to taste the bile at the back of my tongue, but I just kept on going. I barely had time to duck behind a tree in Central Park before my stomach spilled its contents onto the ground. The taste was foul and bitter because I had nothing in my body to expel. I hadn't had breakfast, so it was just a disgusting stomach acid that I got rid of. I braced myself against my knees and my mind suddenly started to clear. What the hell was I doing?

I ran through the morning's gritty event seeing with a new clarity that I was the one that had pushed. It was me that caused the panic, not Alice. I thought I needed to convince her that I could be intimate again, when it was really me that I was trying to persuade. Perhaps, it was just like she said that we should take it slow and not rush. Maybe she didn't lie about wanting me. How could I expect her to jump into bed with me the first time I offered? Holy fuck, I was the one messing things up. The sharp pain seemed to dull a little after realizing my mistake.

I was panting heavily, when I checked the time. I had been gone for little over an hour and the run back would take me a while. We were supposed to spend the day together, because she was going to L.A. tonight. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I turned around and started at a more sensible pace to run home.

The acid in my muscles made my legs feel like lead when I took the stairs two at the time. I took a deep breath before I opened the door to our apartment.

"Alice?" I called as soon as I was inside. I stepped out of my shoes and waited for her to call back. She didn't. I looked up and she stood at the door, looking at me with extremely worried and devastated eyes. She had been crying that was easy to tell.

"Where've you been? You've been gone for almost three hours and I had no way of getting in contact with you," she said forebodingly quietly. Her arms were locked tight over her chest.

"I'm sorry," I answered confused to why she seems so upset. I wasn't prepared for that.

Tears started to run wildly down her cheeks. "I freaking thought you went and did something really stupid!" She whispered fiercely. Angrily, she brushed the tears from her face. "God, Jasper." I gaped at her. "Don't look at me like that. I almost called the police and told them you were a suicide risk, for God's sake," she spat at me.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't think," I mouthed, immediately mortified with my own stupidity. I had run out on her after yelling at her in a full on panic attack and not for one moment wondering how she would see that.

"No! You didn't!" She dumped her head in her hands and really started sobbing. I closed the space between us and wrapped my arms around her. I hated seeing her crying over me. She clutched her arms around me desperately, burrowing her face into the crook of my neck. "Don't ever do that to me again. I can't lose you," she sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, Alice." I whispered. I knew I had things to apologize for when I got home, but certainly not this. I didn't realize the impact that I had on the world around me. I never expected in a million years that Alice would react this intensely. "I love you," I said quietly and stroked her hair, like she always did mine when I was upset. "Alice, I haven't thought like that for a long time. I won't harm myself like that. I promise," I said quietly, needing to console her. I pulled back and pressed my lips gently to hers. They were so soft.

She snorted and nodded wiping her face clean of tears. "You're sweating like a pig." She giggled through the mess of it all. "Take a shower and I'll make us something to eat."

"I need to know something." I asked over the brunch Alice had thrown together. "I'm a little confused about something, so I need a straight answer."

"Okay."

"Do you really want to… uh, to… make love?" I breathed the last words and stared down and my half-finished plate. It would have been easier to ignore the question, but I didn't want to take the coward way out of this and pretend there wasn't this big pink elephant marching through my mind.

Her bright blue eyes evaluated me for a long intense moment. "Just because I said '_no_' this morning, it had nothing to do with the fact if I want to or not. Jasper, you went at me out of nowhere and a year ago that would have been fine, but we just can't do that now. You didn't take it slow and you pushed yourself too hard!"

"I know. I panicked," I shrugged.

"I know you did. I kind of expected that you would. I just didn't expect you to run off and scare the shit out of me," she smiled, but her eyes were still sad.

"The next time that I panic, I'll bring my phone." I tried to defuse our tension. It worked and Alice laughed gently. "You didn't answer my question though." I chewed the inside of my cheek waiting anxiously.

She leaned her head to one side and smiled warmly. "Do you really have to ask?" She reached her hand across the table, intertwining our fingers. "When we're both ready, it will happen. I'm honestly looking forward to it. Just don't feel like you need to rush anything for my sake. You have nothing to prove to me. You already got me and I'm not going anywhere." Her thumb ran repeatedly over the back of my hand. "All good things come to those who wait," she smirked.

I dug into my food feeling resolved and comforted by her the way that I always did. I just needed to wrap my head around the prospect of intimacy on the horizon, though I should have listened to Alice this morning. Finished, I placed the fork at the side of the plate. "Where is Bella?"

"At the book store with Emmett. We could walk down there and give her a hand?" Alice offered. "I don't have to be at the airport until five."

"Sure."

The bookstore had changed so much since Bella bought it. The old dusty and moth-eaten smell was gone and so was dusky lightening. The place had been opened up and was bright and inviting now. Bella had put in a cafe corner with sandwiches, coffee and treats for anyone who wanted to sit and read for a while. The place was flourishing, turning out to be a bit of a student hangout.

I picked up Elizabeth, who was wobbling around between the bookshelves, leaving a trail of destruction behind her. Not far away, Emmett was busy chatting up a blonde and throwing his charming dimples at her. She slipped him her phone number. I knew it was a done deal for him. I picked up Elizabeth and settled her on my hip. I nuzzled her soft cheek and she squealed with delight. She was such a happy baby.

"I suspect you're supposed to be watching her?" I mocked snidely when Emmett saw me.

"Oh, fucking shit," he mouthed and glanced behind me where the books were scattered all over the floor.

"Watch your mouth around delicate baby ears, Emmett." I admonished.

Elizabeth reached for Emmett and settled comfortably in his arms with her bronze curls bouncing around her head. "Want Uncle Emmett to help you clean up your mess, baby Bells?" I watched as he crouched down and started picking up books and rearranging them on the shelves with Elizabeth hanging all over him.

We spent most of the day helping out Bella. I enjoyed watching her glide through the place she now owned. This was her sanctuary. This was her place in the world and she was proud of it and with every right.

oooooOOOOooooo

"I don't have to go," Alice muttered discontent. I zipped her suitcase closed.

"Yes, you do," I answered pointedly. "I know you worry about me, but please don't, there is no need. Bella and I have plans." I threw in and basically lied.

Her brows shot up, intrigued. "Without me, I'm offended," she pouted theatrically and narrowed her eyes at Bella standing in the doorway to our room with Elizabeth on her arm. Her chubby little hands were toying with Bella's hair.

I yanked the suitcase off the bed and leaned over her. "No, you're not. Now get your ass in the cab and go to L.A. and show them how it's done."

A pleasant day with the people I loved had been exactly what I needed. Learning to be playful again was also entertaining. It alleviated this morning's somber mood and helped to distract me. "Fine," she growled, stood up and leaned into the crook of my neck. "I'll miss you," she murmured.

"Me too, baby. Go!" I kissed her a few times. The idea of spending five days away from her didn't calm me at all, but I wasn't going to mope about it because it was a good chance for her. Potential clients, explicit requests for dresses and the prospect of having stores carry her clothing were on the table. Alice just needed to seal the deal, showing her pretty face.

oooooOOOOooooo

That night I stared at myself in the mirror. Slowly, I flipped my shirt over my head and removed my bra. I pushed my yoga pants down and just stood staring at myself wearing only panties. Usually I avoided the mirror and didn't look at myself, but today I forced myself to do that. After my panic attack this morning, I figured that I needed to be okay with my body and myself before I could be able to give it to Alice. If I had no respect for my own physique then how could I expect to be comfortable letting Alice touch me?

My body was so much stronger now, actually looking healthy. My legs were firm and athletic. My stomach was toned and less soft and my chest was feminine once more. There was no hint that I was at death's door six months ago and so deprived of life. The way I looked now it was hard to believe the all-consuming vortex that almost swallowed me up and left me for dead. The only evidence was the scars littered over my body. I had so many of them. My stomach and back from when I was a child and my thighs and arm from my depression.

As I looked at myself, I realized perhaps it wasn't so bad for Alice to want or touch me. Though, the parts of my body that were exposed right now weren't the major issue. Carefully, I peeked down into my panties, realizing down there was the major issue. What would I do when she really wanted to touch me or use her mouth on me? That was terrifying to think about. Perhaps that would be the same for the naked parts of my body that I was staring at now. For me to give this to Alice, I needed to give it to myself. I personally needed to heal before Alice and I ever had a shot of being intimate again.

I chewed the inside of my cheek before I decided to give it a shot. I searched through every corner of Alice's side of the closet until I found what I was looking for. I knew she had one, because I didn't anymore. The bright pink vibrator was staring at me, mocking me. No. No. Not today. I slammed the closet shut. Though I knew that I couldn't do that tonight, I was surprisingly calm. Perhaps tomorrow, I could try again.

Quickly, I pulled my PJ pants on and a shirt. I crawled into bed and snuggled up with Alice's pillow. It smelled like her shampoo when I dug my face into it. I hugged the fluffy cushion and creases of something hard scratched my cheek. From inside the pillowcase I pulled out an envelope.

_To the strongest girl in the world, my girl _it said on the outside.

Quickly I ripped the envelope open and pulled out a handwritten letter.

_My dearest Jasper,_

_Now that you are hogging my pillow, I wanted to say good night._

_You are the strongest person I have ever known and watching you fight as you do makes me proud of you. About this morning, we will get there because I know you want it and I know how hard you have battled to come this far. It is only a small step of step of the way. We will get there… I promise._

_Please do a good job and take care of yourself when I am gone. I can't wait to be back home with you and steal my pillow back. _

_I love you more than I can ever express._

_Your Alice_

_P.S. Now go to sleep._

A simple tear rolled down my cheek and even from afar I felt how much she loved me. I placed the letter under the pillow and turned the lights off.

oooooOOOOooooo

I spent the day with Bella at the bookstore unpacking supplies and helping the new girl work the coffee machine and settle at her job.

After I found the letter last night, it occurred to me that now was a good time to prove to myself that I wasn't as codependent as I sometimes feared I was. I wanted to confirm that I was okay without Alice at my side every minute of the day. Sure, I missed her like crazy, but nothing more than any sane person would miss the girl that they loved. I was still okay and I could function on my own. It was empowering to know I was actually capable to stand on my own two feet for a few days.

I knocked gently on the door to Bella's office. She had her head submerged into a book and probably far away from reality like she usually was when she read.

"Anything you need, Jasper?" she asked kindly.

"Actually there is," I hesitated. I fiddled with the long braid slung over my shoulder. "I was wondering if you'd help me with something."

"Sure thing."

"I booked an appointment with a hairdresser for Thursday. Would you go with me?"

"Of course," Bella answered immediately. She knew my fears and reservations about strangers, but I wanted to do this. Perhaps if Bella came with me, it wouldn't be so bad to let a stranger that close. Besides, I needed the dry and split ends treated. It wasn't attractive at all.

oooooOOOOooooo

I squirmed in the seat at Peter's office. He sat patiently and waited for me to speak. He was very good at reading me. He never let me get away with anything once he caught on to the fact I wanted to say something. No matter how uncomfortable the subject was. So he was now silently calling me out. I had no way to escape having this talk now.

"I er… I tried to be intimate with Alice," I breathed almost inaudible.

"Tried?" He prodded, when I opened the subject.

I nodded. "Only tried, because I panicked."

"What did you do when you panicked?" he asked patiently.

"Yelled at her, blamed her for lying to me, and then went for a run." I started picking at my fingernails furiously. It stung. I stretched my ankle feeling the soreness burn the muscle around the joint from the lack of warming up yesterday.

"After that?" He kept probing, wringing details from me with his uncanny ability to see right through me.

"After realizing that it wasn't Alice's fault that I panicked, but my own insecurities, I apologized to her. I think I need to fix me, accept myself before I can completely let it all go and jump off that cliff with my girlfriend. So last night, I basically stared at my own body for half the evening." I bit down on my lip nervous at Peter's judgment. He probably wouldn't like my hair-brained attempt to fix what was broken.

He was silent as seconds just kept ticking by, making me uncomfortable. "Well done, Jasper," he praised suddenly looking at me earnestly. I just gaped. "I can see that you don't grasp the depth of your progress. It is very impressive that you are taking responsibility for your actions, for yourself and for what happened with Alice. You handled your fears in a healthy manner, instead of resolving to cutting, starving yourself, closing out Alice or slipping back into darkness where you used to hide. Instead, you resolved to manage a stressful situation with a run. You chose your weapon well." He smiled. "At the same time, you recognize what you need to cross the hurdle where you panicked and figured out a clever way to climb the fence to get all aspects of your life back. You basically figured out a way to heal yourself without my help. That is really good work. Keep doing what you are doing." I closed my mouth pondering his words, but it was a little hard to take in his gracious compliments. "I suggest we start meeting once every other week and see how that works out for you. I am not sure you need to see me once a week anymore."

"I could try to make do with that." I shrugged, feeling like the holes in my safety net were expanding. I feared I was going to fall through them.

That night, the repertoire was the same as the night before. Peter had complimented me on the progress and my method of dealing with my own fear, so it was pretty easy to repeat that. I stared at my almost naked body in the mirror and slammed the closet shut when I still didn't dare to touch myself. Today, it was a little easier to deal with than yesterday. Hopefully tomorrow, I would manage to take the leap and get it over with. I wanted to try at least.

Wednesday it was the same – Almost. I stared hypnotized at my body and dared to run my fingers over my own breast and feel the curve of my waist. I was okay and didn't burst into flames. I even dared getting the vibrator out, but I put it back without attempting anything. However, it was a step forward and I didn't slam the closet door today.

Thursday, Bella came with me to the salon. My feet were electric anticipating my reaction. I was jumping up and down. I didn't want to say anything to the girl running her fingers through my hair and looking at the spilt ends with a discontent face. My overly long hair she was holding in her hands was probably blasphemy in her world.

"How long has it been since you cut it?" she asked trying to hide her mortification. Her hair was shiny and styled to perfection.

"Almost a year and a half." I answered almost guiltily, like I had forgotten to hand in an essay in sixth grade and was now being scolded by my very strict teacher. Beside me, Bella tried to hide her grin.

"Well…" the assistant sighed almost defeated. "Please tell me you want more than the ends cut off, because I need to take off at least a few inches."

"I was thinking more like ten or twelve inches actually." That would leave it to be about shoulder length like I used to have it. Not this long mop of hair that wasn't even flattering. The girl's eyes lit up and she smiled hugely like I just made her freaking day. "You have free reign I just don't want it short."

The girl immediately put the scissors to the long handheld chunk of hair and chopped it off just below my shoulders. Perhaps she was afraid I would change my mind and ruin her day of fun if she didn't move fast enough.

I sat back and controlled my trepidation completely when going through the washing, cutting and drying process. At times, I even forgot Bella was with me. I realized I didn't need her as a safety net. I could do this on my own.

I smiled broadly when checking myself in the mirror when hairdresser declared that she was done. It was just above my shoulders and styled into perfect wavy locks looking shiny and healthy. I looked like a brand new, yet also like old unbroken Jasper. I couldn't wait to show Alice. She never complained, but I figured she wasn't fond of the untamed mane that I had had up until now.

That night, I stood completely naked staring at my reflection. I found I actually liked what I saw. I didn't slam the closet door, but instead crawled into bed with the pink vibrator in my hand. I had a bit of trouble controlling my breathing and fear when touching myself, but I got over it. I really did get over it and was able to relax enough to succeed. The euphoria was astounding, not just because I had gotten myself off, but because I realized I didn't need to be scared. When I could do this with myself, I sure as hell could let Alice closer.

I woke Friday morning knowing Alice was coming home today. My stomach was full of butterflies and I was thrilled to see her again. I missed her like crazy, but I just wanted see her face and smell her hair again. The separation was actually good. Having missed something for a little while made having it again all the better.

Bella had placed the mail on the kitchen table. I stared brokenly at the envelope placed on top. That was going to hurt Alice. I traced my finger over the crossed out letters that were replaced with a return address. I turned the envelope over. At least, it had been opened, but the fact Alice's parents returned the wedding invitation intact was a loud and clear sign that we were still at status quo and they wanted nothing to do with their daughter.

I stayed home and cleaned. I vacuumed, washed the windows, dusted and cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. Time just didn't move fast enough. I hadn't been for a run for two days and that last one had been short, so that was my next chosen weapon to kill some time.

I mapped out a course for twenty-two miles, figuring that should take me about four hours. Just enough time to be home before Alice and take a shower. The Marathon was in November and I was making good strides. Twenty-two miles was a bit of a stretch for me, but I was sure I could manage.

With music filling my ears, I set a calm pace to get my muscles warmed up and find a steady rhythm.

I was panting like a racehorse when I finally reached home again. I was exhausted, but still managed the distance. Three hours and fifty-eight minutes. I was on a freaking roll. I rested for a bit before I tackled the stairs and made it all the way up to the apartment. I fished the key out of the tiny pocket at the back of my track pants, only to find the door was unlocked.

"You're home early," I smiled hugely and pulled out the ear buds out when I was in the door. I was still fiercely winded.

"Finally," she beamed and clapped her hands. It looked like Alice had been sitting in the kitchen staring at the clock willing time to move faster. "God, I missed you," she hurled her body into my arms. "Ew, you're sweating," she complained when I felt the moisture from me dripping onto her, but she kept on hugging me intensely.

"I missed you too," I mused between distorted breaths and inhaled the scent of her hair. Perhaps this had been harder on Alice than on me. "Have you been worried about me?" I asked confused.

"No, I just missed you so much," she confessed, still not letting go of me. The separation had definitely been worse on her than it had on me. I pulled back, watching beads of my sweat rolling down her cheek. I leaned forward slowly and started kissing her. She sighed immediately and her tongue slipped into my mouth, loving me. I kissed her back with a new vigor and realization. Alice needed me right now. We kissed passionately for a while, letting our mouths dance and caress. I felt so complete being able to give her something that she needed for once. Perhaps, I could offer her more.

I broke the kiss. "Come with me." I tugged on her hand and pulled her behind me into bathroom. The front of her dress was stained with my perspiration and her fingertips wet from tracing sweat from my neck. Carefully, I slipped the zipper of her dress down and she pulled her arms through the sleeves with inquisitive eyes on my face. I smiled gently and pulled my drenched shirts over my head. I was surprised I felt this calm and resolved. I really could do this. "Have a shower with me?" I ordered gently. I reached behind her and turned the water on.

Her eyes widened shocked, but she nodded and a small warm smile crawled across her mouth. I pulled the hair band out and I laughed when Alice gasped loudly. She reached out and carefully ran her fingers through my hair, smiling. "Love the hair," she whispered and brushed her lips across my mouth. "Missed you," she sighed. "Love you." She managed before I covered her lips with mine. This was strangely intense, but for me it wasn't lust or need. This was just a basic piece of me that I needed to give her. I think it was my love that I was desperate to show her.

"You really want to do this?" she asked carefully, probably expecting another panic attack.

"I do," I answered and unclasped her bra. I smiled relieved when she swiftly ridded herself of her stockings and tiny panties. She slipped under the spray and water soaked her hair and trailed down her body in torrents. She kept her sparkling eyes on me, literally inviting me to follow her. When I did, I was only flooded with excitement and there was no hint of fear in my body.

The water was hot and refreshing. I enjoyed the cubicle being crowded. We kissed a little, but mainly talked a little about her trip and what I had done throughout the week. I told her about her parents' rejection that came for the wedding. She had been prepared for it, but she was still sad about it. I fell silent when Alice made the move and squirted soap into her hands and washed my entire body. Her dainty hands slipped gingerly over every curve of me, touching and caressing me as she went. I still wasn't scared or felt unworthy. No, I felt like I deserved her attention for the first time and I relished it, savored it and I felt strong. Secretly, I wanted more. I wanted her hands to slip between my legs, to touch me and make me feel good, but I didn't push for it. I only dreamed about it. I wanted to take it slow and appreciate it all. Instead, I paid her the attention that she deserved and listened intently when her moans of a climax washed away with the running water. How I loved to hear those sweet sounds from her and feel her body warm and loving against mine when she gave into me completely.

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**Tell me what you think and keep an eye out for the Epi.**

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own the plot.**

**Thank you to Dazzled eyes22 for your help on this OUTTAKE. **

**AN:**

**This was actually written to figure out how the hell Alice got to Edward Cullen. Those of you reading Starting Over will know what this is about, to those of you just liking Four Weeks, this was how Alice handled her L.A. trip. Nuff said.**

**Tell me what you think in the comments.**

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OUTTAKE of Alice's visit to L.A.

**APOV**

Stepping into the less than decadent, downright shabby downtown hotel room, I was already totally homesick. I checked the time, only one hour until my first appointment and hopefully a fitting. Getting the opportunity to dress actresses to their shindigs was a mammoth chance for me. Everyone would see my designs, but nothing was set in stone yet. I was battling some intense competition and huge brands. I was still no one in this world of fashion. So I could only hope that they would pick a dress of mine over the obvious choices. However that was just a side dish to this week of business in L.A. I was really hoping for individual shops to carry my line. I had a bunch of appointments set up. If I succeeded it would put food on the table here and now. Jasper and I were running seriously low on cash. Money was tight at the moment. The spare cash from Jasper's dad was almost spent.

I passed through the decadent hotel lobby on my way to my appointment. This was a place that I hoped to afford one day, not the tattered room that I could hardly pay for as it was.

A blond goddess opened the door and she smiled haughtily and hardly polite. "About time," she stated. She stepped aside and let me enter.

"I brought four options for you." I said, not bothering with any chitchat when it obviously wouldn't smooth her hostile mood. I also tried to control my trepidation. I had seen her picture, googled her and studied her figure to pick out what would look the most flattering on her. But looking at the flawless creature before me, pictures really didn't do her justice. I would guess that they hardly had to retouch her photos.

"Let me see them," she said evenly. I unpacked the dresses and she watched attentively. "Hmm, I'm liking this," she mused and played her fingers over the red silk. It was the most revealing of the options and my least favorite for her, but she had personally requested it.

"How about this?" I tried to move her focus to the black lacy one. I regretted bringing the red, because Rosalie Hale was sexy as hell and so was that dress. Sexy added sexy really wasn't my style. It often made the concept ho rattle around in my head. I didn't want my design to throw off that delicate sentiment.

She hardly looked at the black, but just gave it a dismissive shrug. "I'll try this," she draped it over the back of a chair. She wiggled out of her short skirt and top. The silk slipped over curvy frame. It was as I feared. The dress just screamed HO! Rosalie smiled content and checked every angle in the mirror. "Perfect."

My tongue ran furiously over my teeth. I didn't want to offend her, but this wasn't going like I planned at all. "Uh… I really think you should try this black one on. It will be more suitable."

She turned and glared at me. "Who the fuck asked for your opinion?" Her perfectly manicured brow shot up in anger.

I had to hold back the urge to roll my eyes at her. Beauty and personality obviously didn't connect here. "Look, the dress is nice and sexy on you, though more for a nightclub. But this is much more elegant and classy, and not a run down hookers lane." I bit my tongue, waiting for her retaliation and her throwing me out of her hotel room on my ass. I glanced at her and she smirked at me.

"Fine, I'll try the black," she accepted without further ado. I gaped at her. "I hate when people let me run them over." She winked and her expression softened when turned to the mirror again. She changed dresses, and slipped into the black one like I requested. I felt a little snide on the inside, but kept it safely locked up.

"See, this is much more sophisticated and lovely. It just needs to be taken in a bit." I didn't give her a chance to complain or shoot down the dress when I had finally gotten her into it. I found my pins and started adjusting the waist and bust to her shape.

"You look lovely, Rose," a warm voice mused. I turned, slightly startled because I hadn't heard the door open or close. The box of pins slipped from my fingers and scattered, digging into the plush carpet. I gaped, staring frozen at the man. The tone of his reddish brown hair was the same as Elizabeth's and she had even inherited the color of his eyes. How much little Elizabeth resembled her father. Edward Cullen just had no idea that he had a daughter and that Bella was still heartbroken over him. Holy fucking shit! I was suddenly in the middle of chaos and wading through their shit.

I bent to pick up the needles with trembling fingers and unsteady knees. I completely avoided looking at him. I more than hated that Bella never confronted him. I loathed she couldn't see how wrong she was and that he had a right to know Elizabeth existed. She was his daughter for crying out loud.

"I'll be in the gym." He kissed Rose's cheek. "That one is a keeper. Stunning." Quickly, he moved to the bedroom, changed his clothes and was out of the hotel room within minutes.

"Gorgeous, I know." Rosalie Hale smirked pleased. "He's so perfect and mine," she drawled. I was too stunned to even speak. "Do you have a boyfriend?" she asked, suddenly making conversation. Though, I would rather be run over by her inner bitch right now. I started pinning the dress again. I shook my head, trying to recover my equilibrium.

"I er… I have a girlfriend." I said quietly, still feeling totally shell-shocked. Rosalie gaped at me.

"You're into girls?"

I shrugged, while working furiously to push the Edward incident back and get my mind back in order. "Not exactly," I answered belated. "I fell in love with a person, not her gender." I focused on the dress again, making the fitting perfect. "We're actually getting married in about a month."

"Congrats," she hummed focused on her own reflection, evaluating. "I think I will take this and the red," Rosalie said, staring confident at her own image. I was glad her attention wasn't on me. I smiled shaken.

"I'll make the adjustments and have it for you by tomorrow before noon."

I left the hotel room feeling rattled to the bone. How could I not know that they were dating? The fact that I could possible have a dress shown on one of L.A. multitude of runways faded in comparison to seeing Elizabeth's father. Edward 'fucking' Cullen. At my tattered hotel, I sat down on the floor at the foot of the bed and found my tools. I turned the TV on and started working. Morbidly, I was glad that I basically needed to take the entire dress apart to make the fitting. It kept my mind off Bella and what I knew needed to be done. I would be such a bitch for meddling, but how could I not?

My fingers were practically bleeding from hand stitching the dress back together. I turned the light off and nested into the moldy smelling chair with a blanket over me. The dress was done, my mind was exhausted and I missed Jasper so much that I could cry. That was the reason I chose to sleep in the chair and not the bed. I didn't want to lie down and rest without her at my side. To relax and sleep I needed to feel her body and warmth against me. When I couldn't have that I just wouldn't bother to lie down, it was fruitless even to try. God, I was so codependent.

Walking back to the hotel the next day to deliver the dress, I passed a small photo shop and inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks. At the reception, I asked for a slip of paper and a hotel envelope with their embossed logo. I wrote a short message.

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_New York._

I stuffed the note into the envelope along with a recent photo of Bella printed from my phone. I sealed the envelope and wrote Edward's name on it and left it in Rosalie Hale's inbox. Fate would just have to do its damn job now.

Rosalie was thrilled with the dress. I could see why. It was sexy, but yet understated and hugged her luscious curves nicely. Normally, I would be to the moon and back, bouncing up and down with glee, but I was eager to get out of there. I didn't want to risk running into Edward again. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my big mouth shut.

Next I was on to the line of business meetings, gatherings and other clients with requests for dresses. I didn't sell any. I was lucky to have two small stores pick up my line and place actual orders. It wasn't much, but it was a start, nonetheless.

On the last day I was left with nothing to do but make time pass. I was so ready to go home in the morning and that just couldn't happen fast enough. I was seriously exhausted and my back was killing me from pretending to sleep in that foul smelling chair. I did a little window-shopping for the most part. Money wasn't hanging on the trees these days, so that would have to do. Except, I lost a little bit of my control when I passed a lingerie store - my obsession.

I spent the last night of my L.A. trip in the same awful chair and missing Jasper's arms around me or her head resting on my chest when she slept. The burn and ache around my heart from not seeing her hadn't let up during the week. I let a few tears slip, when I flipped through some of the images I had stored on my phone of us. No one ever saw me cry, except for Jasper, because that just wasn't something that I did. Right now I just wanted to be utterly pathetic and miss my girlfriend. I couldn't wait to go home and see her beautiful smile in real life.

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**I hope you liked the treat and I will be back next week with the Epilogue of Four Weeks… well I hope so. **

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_

**Please check out my original story on www thumannlegend blogspot com**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot**

**This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.**

**DAZZLED EYES22 - **_**This story wouldn't be the same without you.**_** I have said that throughout 14 chapters and it is more true than ever. I want to thank you for taking a chance on this wayward and for some outrageous story. Without your advice, guidance, comments and grammar help – this story wouldn't be worth the computer it was written on. THANK YOU! You are worth your weight in gold.**

**Another shout out goes to those of you who commented, added me to your alerts and in general just took the time of day to read this. This will be the final chapter and there will be no more. However, you will still be able follow Alice and Jasper's story from STARTING OVER, but only as supporting characters. **

**The event featured below is also covered in STARTING OVER chapter 23(22).**

**Thank you once more for reading and I hope to see a comment below when you finish. Nuff said and I'll shut up now.**

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**Epilogue**

The great thing about New York was that Connecticut was nearby and they allowed same sex marriages. This leads us back to the great state of New York. Sure, they didn't allow them, but they recognized them. That was the main reason we scoured the countryside and found a small charming Inn in Connecticut where we could exchange our vows. All my bullshit about marrying Alice and it not being legal didn't have any merit now. We got to have it all.

The day was here. The day was finally here. Emotions were stretched thin. I was hardly the only one that was a blubbering heap of nerves. However, these were good nerves. I was excited. This was the best and most awaited day of my life. I got to marry my girl today.

I tried to be as discrete as possible and not snort too loudly when listening to her beautiful words. My eyes were only on Alice. She was beautiful and here she was giving herself to me. I knew people were watching, but I didn't care. I just kept watching the love of my life. How gratifying it was to finally have made it this far past all the obstacles. Her vows to me brought me to tears.

"I admire you for teaching me who I truly am. Without you, I would still be floundering about and pretending to be someone that I am not.

"I admire you for your strength because I have never in my life witnessed anyone fight as hard as you have to reclaim what was yours after you lost it.

"I admire you for your perseverance because you refuse to let someone put you down. I cannot wait until you put Emmett in his place and leave him in the dust with your horrible ugly running shoes.

"I admire you for your ability of loving with your whole heart. To be so lucky to find someone like you, someone willing to leave her heart defenselessly in my hands is astounding. I can't believe that you dare to trust me that much.

"I admire you for the kindness in your heart. I know you can only have learned that from one place and that is from your family. I am extremely honored to consider myself a part of your family and to be shrouded by your love the day that my life takes a bad turn. You are my safety net and a gift that I do not take for granted.

"But most of all, I love you for you because you are beautiful and complete just the way you are. I love you for that."

I knew it was now my time to speak. I looked at my dad tearing up and smiled. He was the one marrying us. "My beautiful Alice." I whispered my throat was already closing with emotions. This was going to be hard to get through. I had memorized what to say, but it was still hard to get it out there.

"When I asked you to marry me, I said '_sometimes I fear that I will wake up from this wonderful dream, but every day I do wake up and you are right next to me with your unfaltering determination.'_ Today, I can say almost the same. '_Every day I am glad to wake up from my nightmares because I know every time that I do wake up you are right next to me with your unfaltering love.'_ People say that marriage is for better and for worse, but it isn't only marriage that is like that. Life is. You haven't been mine for a lifetime, but we have seen a little of the better and a lot of the worse. When we can stand together now having been through the worse, I am very much looking forward to be by your side for the better. You are my life. You have my heart. I know we share the same soul. I never dreamed that I would have someone as warm and loving as you and be so lucky to call you mine and to say that I am yours. No one in the world compares to you. Thank you for being beside me every day. The sun will never shine brightly enough to outshine how much I treasure you and there aren't enough words in the world to express how much I love you."

I wiped a few of tears from her damp cheeks after ending my vows to her. I hardly paid attention to my father's words as he went through the rest of the ritual. I just kept my eyes on Alice. All the things that we had been through seemed to come together in this entrancing feeling of being completely content.

Alice slipped the cool ring down my finger and I reciprocated the gesture. I loved how it felt to wear this thin gold band as a symbol of our love. I gazed down at the shiny metal finally understanding the weight of its importance. Everyone could see now that I was loved and loved someone back.

We kissed gently when my father allowed and never in my life had I felt closer to her. Not getting to know her, not kissing her for the first time and not making love with her, but it was now that I really felt us, the epitome of _us_. We were one because we wanted to be and chose to be.

"I love you," I whispered when our lips parted.

"Right back at you," Alice giggled and nuzzled into my neck for a hug. I wrapped my arms around her, closing my eyes wallowing in the content feeling of the moment.

Standing hand in hand, it was time for the meet and greet. Alice had a strong hold on my hand knowing this was one of the harder parts of the night for me. People touching and hugging, but I was determined to get through it without letting it get to me. People glided past. I knew everyone. It wasn't that many guests, basically my entire family and our closest friends.

Emmett refused to acknowledge my trepidation and pulled me into a bear hug. "God, I hope Pixie can stand your ass until forever, because the chick is seriously growing on me. I would hate not having her to push around," he laughed. "You did good, sis."

"Wow. Thank you, Emmett." Alice mock scolded. "Who knew you could be so charming?" She smiled too sweetly at him and he threw his arms around her. He hugged her fiercely. I worried for a second that he might break her fragile little bones. She was so tiny compared to him.

"Get out of the way, Emmett." Bella laughed and gently pushed him aside. "My turn to congratulate the happy couple. I am so happy for you," she gushed. Her hair was partly pinned back and she was wearing a floor length satin dress. I imagined that was all Alice's doing. Bella hugged her warmly and kissed her cheek. "It makes me happy to see you so happy. I am so jealous."

"I'm not sure you have to be anymore," Alice whispered back. I glanced at Bella clueless until I spotted the man behind her. I had met him shortly once and that hadn't panned out very well for me. Embarrassing was the term that I would use. Right now, he stood quietly behind Bella with a lovely smile on his face. For a man, he was quite attractive, elegant and graceful. Elizabeth was out cold balanced on his arm. They looked so much alike. No one told me that he was coming.

Bella blushed and mouthed "thanks" to Alice. She turned her gentle brown eyes to me and very carefully gave me a hug. "Seeing you come this far is such a joy to me. I am grateful that you are my friend and I wish you all the happiness in the world, Jasper. You deserve it." Bella stepped back and flushed deeper. "Er… I am sure you remember, Edward," she almost whispered when she introduced him.

Alice and I nodded in unison, completely speechless like a pair of synchronized swimmers. Last time I saw him, I had screamed at his face. "Congratulations," he said politely in a warm voice and held out his hand. Alice took it first and looked at him in a strange unreadable way. I pulled in a rattled breath and controlled my fear when I let him touch my hand. I wasn't used to this. Today, I just had to get over it.

After what seemed like an endless round of best wishes, I was relieved that I didn't panic at all, but I was still rattled to the bone. I was sure Alice knew that when she pulled me through throng of people, passing my father along the way and telling him we needed a moment. Back at the room where I had dressed, I sat down on the bed and relished the moment of silence. Alice sat down beside me, while stroking my arm and shushing me. Her fingers ran into my hair and I felt calm rush through me when I leaned my head on her shoulder. Only my wife had the ability to relax me like this. It didn't take long anymore, just a few minutes. I promised myself that would be the only time she needed to do that today.

My dad's speech for us would stick to my mind forever. How fortunate I was to have parents like that.

_First of all, I want to say congratulations. This is a big day for you two and I am sure no one missed that fact._

_The moment you become a father all obstacles and problems that comes with having children are suddenly painted on a wall in black and white. For boys and girls, the first few years are filled with the same anxious anticipation. Their first day of kindergarten, then their first day of school, their friends, all their teenage drama and so on, but when you have a daughter, something changes compared to having a son. It is the time you basically fear the most… dating and boys. I would lay awake nights thinking, worrying how any boy was ever going to be good enough for my daughter. How wrong was I? Jasper never did bring home any boys and she never dated. At least, my wife and I thought so._

_Another big day in your daughter's life is when you have to give her away. Jasper, when you were a young girl, I was so saddened by those words and that one day I would have to give you away. However, I didn't have to give you away today, but instead I was blessed with another daughter. Welcome to the family, Alice. My wife and I hope that you know we love you dearly. Congratulations again to the two of you._

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After dinner, people started dancing and having a good time. The lights were dimmed and music dominated the room. Emmett had chosen most of it, but he promised to ignore his initial need to torture us all with his eclectic taste of disco drums. So far, he had done a great job. Laughter could be heard sporadically from people sitting at the tables or dancing. Happy smiling faces were everywhere, including mine.

The wind was chilly, but it didn't bother me. I snuck out here to silently enjoy the view for a while. The small Inn really did create the perfect setting for this day. The lights hung from the trees reflecting in the quiet surface of the lake were breathtaking. This place was a bit rustic, but absolutely charming. I was so glad that we had decided to make it a weekend celebration. Nothing needed to be rushed.

I wiggled my toes in my shoes. Well, the main reason for my escape was to avoid another dance with my uncle, who spent more time stepping on my toes than the floor. Also I needed to gather myself enough not to let the guests and the dancing, touching and festivities get to me.

"Just for the record, I thought you should know that your thirteen year old cousin just groped your wife's ass." Alice laughed and stepped out of the door. I snickered.

"I can't say that I blame him." I let my eyes rake almost rudely down her body. She sashayed around the low patio wall that I was sitting on and sat down on my lap, while encircling me in her arms. "It's the heels, baby." I leaned in and kissed her just below the ear. I loved the tiny shudder of pleasure that always brought on.

Alice glanced down and stretched out a foot, evaluating the shoe. "Yeah, they had a nice effect on you the last time I wore them. I got you to ask me to marry you. Though, I don't really condone wearing used shoes at my own wedding, but they count as something old, so I allowed it." I laughed at her slightly adjusted version of 'old'.

"Leave it to you to put them to good use." I wrapped one hand around her waist and gently stroked her bare thigh for a little warmth with friction. I watched the trickle of tiny hairs dance in the frigid breeze for a moment. Her hair was done up in soft large curls. Her make-up was understated and very natural. "You're so gorgeous. My beautiful Alice," I mused.

She hummed and leaned into my arms. "Yes, yours." She trembled slightly when another glacial breeze threw it cold arms across the small lake. "Let's go dance."

"Let's," I agreed and smiled.

The lights were dim and multiple candles on the tables supplied most of the illumination across the room. At the edge of the dance floor, Alice locked her arms around my neck and began setting a slow pace to the quiet rhythm of the song playing. We turned slightly and I watched my dad dance with my mom. He kissed her hair gently, while his hand at her back kept running placid circles between her shoulder blades. Alice turned and watched them too.

"You know, never once did I see my dad watch my mom with any kind of adoration, or my mom look at my dad with affection like she loved him," Alice said sadly. Her parents were the only ones missing today. I wasn't exactly sad about it because they couldn't accept her for who she was and I didn't really feel the need for them to celebrate this day with us. I was just sad that they cut her out of their lives completely. She didn't deserve their animosity.

"I guess I am lucky," I sighed and watched my dad's warm smile light up his face when my mom spoke. "He always did adore my mom. All my life he had this way of looking at her when he thought we weren't watching." I gazed back at Alice. She smiled softly.

"Jasper, do you realize that you look at me that exact same way?"

"I do?" I blurted surprised.

"You do. That is one of the ways I can tell that you love me. The way you look at me. You always did it like that. Your eyes are so alive."

"I do love you." Her returning gaze was bright, clear and dancing with love. She didn't need to use words to say that she loved me. I pulled her lips to mine and kissed her deeply. Frankly, I didn't care who watched. This was our day.

"Stop being obscene, Jasper. I am stealing Pixie. Move your ass over and stop crowding ass fondling girl." Oh no, Emmett.

I groaned and hugged my arms tighter around her waist. "She's mine." I growled playfully while Alice made a snide face at Emmett.

"You may think that I am above manhandling the both of you at the same time, but honestly I'm not. Give it up, Jasper."

"Be good to her." I laughed and moved back to the chairs. Alice squealed when Emmett less than delicately threw her over his shoulder, like a caveman and dragged her onto the dance floor. He sat her down in the middle of the crowd. He had no shame.

I took a slow sip of my less than cool white wine that had been left on the table for a while. I pulled up a chair and put my feet up, enjoying the rest. "That is an awesome idea." Nettie mirrored my gesture and threw her feet over mine when she sat down beside me.

"Yeah, there was a time I could run across New York in these things and now one night in heels and my feet are killing me."

Nettie laughed. "Want some?" she offered and held out her glass to me. "Lucy ordered it and basically it tastes like lighter fluid."

"No thanks, now that you make it sound so appealing." I laughed and held up my glass of lukewarm white wine. "I prefer this."

"Awe, she is so cute." Nettie gushed. Peering through the crowded dance floor, I found Elizabeth's tiny feet and her small body wiggling clumsily to the beat of the music. During the past weeks, she had been charging through the apartment and really getting her bearings. I laughed at her jerky movements and her trying to capture the beat while clapping her dimpled hands. Just behind her Edward was standing over her and smiling. He held out a finger, which she took, and he twirled her gently. "They are like two drops of water. I didn't know Elizabeth's father was in her life."

"She looks a lot like Bella too. It's a pretty resent development seeing Edward around."

"Yeah. Are you and Alice ever going to have kids?" Nettie asked without further ado.

I shrugged. "I don't know. We never had that conversation. It's not impossible, but I am so happy just to have Alice right now. Though, it is a blessing to have Elizabeth in our lives. Who knows what the future will hold?" I glanced at Nettie. "What about you and love?"

"I gave up looking." She paused. "Today isn't about me, but I'm going to make it a little bit anyway. I stopped looking for love, but went for something else that I want." I stared confused at her when she fished her phone out of her purse. She showed me a picture of a fragile looking girl curled up in a huge hospital bed. "I got cleared to be a foster parent and this is Lola. I am taking her home sometime next week, when she is well enough."

"What happened to her?" I asked befuddled. The girl seemed so broken.

"What didn't happen to her! To make a long story short. Dad's dead and her mom's a junkie and a prostitute who went missing a few weeks ago. Lola was found dehydrated and starving in a shitty apartment and needs someone to love her. She's four years old, really bright and very sweet. So instead of looking for someone to love me, I am putting my love somewhere it is dearly needed."

I blinked the moisture in my eyes back. She was so selfless. "You really are something. Good for you, Nettie." She smiled humbly and shrugged it off.

"Back to you and your day. You look incredible, you know that?"

"Thanks." I muttered shyly.

A heartbreaking baby scream rippled through the room, towering above the music and Edward bent down and picked up Elizabeth who was screaming her lungs out. In the middle of her adorable dancing, she had face-planted right at Edward's feet. Quickly, he cradled her in his arms, hugging her and trying to hush her. Bella was all over her daughter like a rash, but Edward refused her taking over and warded her off, clearly wanting to do this on his own. I smiled.

"Good luck with the foster parent thing. I think it will be good for you." I offered when I pulled my attention back to Nettie.

"Thanks. The only thing I am going to miss by giving up on finding true love is having a sex life. A girl needs to get laid, you know." Her eyes widened in horror as she started babbling incoherent apologies. "Shit… I didn't mean anything…" Her soft eyes brimmed with worry. She was my friend and had been nothing but supportive. Besides, it felt strangely good not to be treated as a fragile piece of glass and just be viewed like a normal and sane person. This was our old bar banter.

"Don't worry about it, Nettie." I laughed gently. "You can talk about it. I won't break down and cry… anymore." I joked. "Hell, I hardly remember what it's like to have sex, then again I am married." I joked, shrugged innocently and smirked.

She grinned and shook her head gently. "You amaze us all, Jasper. No one can hold a candle to you. Remember that." She paused, her face changing serious. "How are you coping with it?"

"Fairly good I hope. It gets easier every day. Peter has been a big help. Please don't hesitate to recommend him, if there is ever a need. I can't thank you enough for getting me in touch with him."

"You're welcome." She paused. "So you and Alice…" She didn't need to finish that sentence.

"No we don't. At least not yet," I answered quietly. She peered around the room, taking in the guests and the event. This was a wedding and she didn't have to say it. What happened on a wedding night was prowling around in the back of my mind like a hunting lion. Tonight was expected to be the embodiment of a marriage. I pushed that thought back immediately. It was getting easier to let my guard down, but like I said to Nettie. I wasn't all the way there yet.

Nettie patted my thigh a few times before she got up. "I can't believe you wore those." She disapproved, but she was laughing. I glanced down at my attire.

"Thank my wife!" I called back and raised my glass once more in salute. I watched Nettie set her drink down and accept a dance from my toe-killing uncle.

The music was getting louder and so was the laughing and chatting. I avoided a dance with Emmett for as long as I could, until I feared I was about an inch away from being manhandled. He already threatened to do that. For about three minutes, Emmett behaved himself and danced with me like a gentleman. That was impressive.

I kept meeting Alice's eyes when she danced, first with my dad and then with Edward. She was so happy and smiling a mega-watt smile from ear to ear most of the time. She was so stunning.

After another round of dancing, I sat back quietly and watched it all play out. Emmett began torturing Nettie on the dance floor, who was trying to keep up with his antics. She squealed loudly when he dipped her dramatically backwards. In the corner, Maria was laughing loudly at Lucy, who was entertaining a few of my parents' friends. In the shadows almost hidden in the dim light, I spotted Bella. I felt a little mushy watching her sway slowly, hardly dancing, and gazing up at Edward who had his arms around her. He was a good bit taller than her, but he was leaning over her with a wistful look splayed over his face. Bella had been sad for so long and missing him. Now he was here and looking at her so tenderly that it could make a grown man burst into tears. I could sense they were talking privately and completely lost to the world around them. I watched as Edward softly brushed his fingers over her cheek, like he feared she was a mirage of smoke that would vanish, if he wasn't careful. Bella closed her eyes for a brief moment, looking so happy.

I sat still and savored it all. This was my family and friends. This was my life.

Beside me, a childish cry sounded, but it was shrouded by the increasingly loud music. Mom sat down next to me and balanced a crying Elizabeth on her lap. Instantly, the baby reached for me. Tears ran down her distorted face.

"She's getting tired," Mom excused and handed her to me. Elizabeth nuzzled against my chest and her cry softened to whimpers. "Why are you sitting here all alone looking so sad?" she asked.

"I'm not sad, mom. I'm happy. Very happy. I got to have my girl today… and my feet are killing me."

Mom laughed. "That you did, sweetheart. Congratulations again." She stroked my cheek with a tenderness that only a mother could.

"Thanks," I said as I rocked Elizabeth to get her to calm down. There was no way that I was interrupting Bella right now. She and Edward were still absorbed in each other at the far end of the dance floor. I wanted to leave them alone. I was fine sitting with the sweet girl in my arms for a while. I dried the tears from her cheeks and straightened the ruffles on her ivory dress that was stained with chocolate from either cake or ice cream. She looked so pretty in her bridesmaid dress. Elizabeth started squirming around on my lap, getting impatient and grumpy. I hugged her to my chest and started humming to soothe her.

Her chubby arms hugged around my neck and she sobbed tiredly. "Let me get her," Emmett said and held out his arms for her. "I'll put her down with me for the night. I already got her bag from Bella's room."

"You'll make a wonderful father someday," I said softly. I stared as Emmett actually blushed a little shyly. "You don't want to wait for Bella?"

Emmett glanced over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Not really. Bella's room is so rated NC-17 tonight, besides there's no action for me. Every chick in here is either married or a lesbian, so I am not even going to bother trying to get me some. Why not take the girl that snores the most and make sure she doesn't wake up to a carnal show?" He laughed and patted Elizabeth's back. "Want Uncle Emmett to read to you?" he cooed at her.

"Emmett," I groaned and he laughed, content with his taunting when he left to put Elizabeth down for the night.

oooooOOOOooooo

"Care to dance with your old man?" Dad asked out of nowhere.. I took his offered hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. I leaned my head to his chest as he guided us through the quiet music. He was no Fred Astaire on the polished floor, but it felt incredibly to be in his arms and feel safe.

"Emmett seems to be fond of your blond friend. I can't seem to remember her name."

"Nettie." I inserted. I caught a fleeting glance at Emmett once more hauling a whining Nettie out onto the dance floor. I looked at my dad's hopeful eyes and cocked at brow at him, then laughed gently.

"Oh," he breathed. "She wouldn't be dating Emmett, would she?"

"No dad. She wouldn't."

He kept his melancholic eyes on me. "I can't believe you and Emmett are all grown up. I still remember having to tie your shoelaces and wipe your noses. I kind of miss it."

"I wear heels, dad. I don't need my laces tied."

"No, you definitely don't. Not anymore." He paused teary eyed and tugged at his tie. "I could never be prouder of you than I am today. You kids are the pride and joy of my life, and now I basically have one more daughter." Gently, he kissed my forehead. "I think someone else wants a dance with my girl."

I felt Alice familiar hands encircle my waist from behind and her mouth pressed to the crook of my neck. "Gotcha, baby," she whispered seductively as soon as my dad was out of hearing range.

"Yeah, you do," I whispered, laying my hands over hers.

The night were passing, but the night was hardly coming to an end just yet.. I feared what kind of expectations that Alice would have for later. No matter how well I was doing, I was having a hard time dealing with that kind of stress right now. We hadn't talked about it at all. I hadn't figured out how to bring up the subject. I didn't want to disappoint her, but I knew I couldn't be with her tonight while feeling the pressure of a night like this.

The music changed, but it was still the same mellow tone that filled the room. Infinite sadness washed over me and I hid my face at the base of her neck. I pulled her body flush to mine. Sure, over the past weeks after she got back from L.A., we had moved forward some, just not all the way yet. What if she expected that tonight? It wasn't unreasonable at all. I sort of anticipated it.

"Just tell me, Jasper," she whispered suddenly. I shook my head against the base of her neck, refusing to answer. It felt like too much to decline her tonight. Her soft fingers played with the tiny hairs behind my ears, nuzzling me. She kissed my neck sweetly. It felt nice. "Talk to me, sweetheart. I know something is bothering you." I still couldn't answer her. I couldn't fail her.

Her breath was quite close to my ear as she stroked my cheek with hers. I closed my eyes relishing her soft skin meeting mine. "I am going to stop pretending that I don't know what is on your mind and make the decision for us. I know you worry about making love tonight," she breathed while pulling back and leaning her forehead to mine. "I am taking it off the table, so I'm saying nothing will happen tonight. I don't have any expectations. We don't need to talk about. It is just a night like any other. Okay?" I bit the inside of my cheek hard. "Please don't think about it, because frankly I haven't. I just want to enjoy the night with my wife, so please don't spoil it with unnecessary fear about something that hasn't even crossed my mind."

"You're lying," I said softly, calling her out with a smile. That was why I loved her so much. She had so much compassion and an ability to see right through my bullshit. She rolled her eyes at me.

"Okay, it crossed my mind, but only because I knew it would worry you. Just be happy and don't over think it. Please do that for me."

I drew a slow calming breath and pushed my fear back. Nothing was going to happen. I was off the hook. "Okay." I agreed. I met her lips gently, feeling grateful Alice handled that impediment for me when I couldn't.

We kept dancing for a while. The only thing I thought about was Alice, my wife and my life. I was relieved, happy and overwhelmed, but most of all insanely in love with the girl in my arms.

Later we left the banquet without saying goodnight to anyone. We just slipped out without anyone noticing.

Opening the door to our room, rich golden light filtered out and a soft scent of candles dominated the space. Alice stared at me wide eyed. "I had nothing to do with this."

I glanced around, smiling and feeling touched that they cared enough to do this for us. "I think we both know who did… Emmett and Bella," I mouthed. "It's beautiful." Alice evaluated me for a long tense moment, just reading me. "I'm not going to panic. Just another night with a month's salary worth of candles." I laughed. I stepped to the window and picked up the bottle. "And bubbly. Want some?"

"Please," she answered sweetly and stepped out of her heels. She sat down on the edge of the bed bouncing on the mattress testing the comfort. I popped the cork without spilling a drop and poured a glass. I handed it to Alice. She took it gingerly and let the sparkling fluid run into her mouth. "You're not having some?"

I nodded and took the glass back from her. "I wanted to share yours." I watched Alice's playful smirk and I took a sip of the cool champagne. It strangely felt more intimate to drink from her glass. I couldn't go all the way with her right now, but I wanted us to have all the closeness that I was able to offer.

I took another swig of the drink and stepped out of my heels. God that felt good. I opened the top button of my jeans. Yeah, I got married wearing my freaking jeans. I had no choice because Alice insisted. She was in her classic skintight short dress looking cute and adorable as always, just today the dress was white.

"Want some more?" I offered. She nodded and her eyes sparkled entertained. "Lean your head back," I ordered. When she tilted her head back, I let a small amount of bubbly float from the glass into her open waiting mouth. She swallowed noisily and smiled. She raked her hands up my thighs to my hips. Feeling my body.

"You're incredible, Jasper," she mused and looked up at me with adoring eyes. I could see her desire clearly underneath all the tenderness. She wanted me. She wanted to make love. No matter how many ways she would deny it, I knew the truth.

"I wish I could, Alice?" I suddenly said somberly, completely ruining the playful mood. Through the weeks, I had learned that I needed to take things at my pace.

"Don't, Jasper. We talked about it and it is what it is. Don't sweat it." She took the glass of me and finished it. "Take your shower, relax and I'll wait right here for you."

Stepping out of the bathroom and pretending this was any other night like Alice said it was, I was wearing my PJ bottoms and a top. Alice was changing into a short satin nightgown. Looking at her clad in her usual, but barely there panties, my desire was clearly present in my stomach. It was boiling, unfurling and heating. She turned slowly, while watching me watching her. She held up the pink flowing gown and ran her tongue over her teeth, reading me. "You want me to put this on?"

"No." I answered hoarsely as my mouth went dry. It was so conflicting wanting all of it, knowing I couldn't reach out and get it. I climbed into bed and Alice followed. I stayed behind her and folded my body around her, locking her to me. She smelled incredible, feminine and soft. I burrowed my face in her hair, savoring her intoxicating scent. "I love you."

She hummed lightly in response and scurried her body even closer to mine. I listened to her breathing. It was deepening slowly, before it went quiet and she was close to sleeping.

After a while captivated by sleep, she rolled and halfway coiled over my body. Her right hand fell heavily over my chest and ring on her finger threw back the dim light from the two candles she had left burning. I ran my finger over her wedding ring repeatedly wondering why the hell I thought that I couldn't make love with my wife. She had given me everything, she trusted me, she understood me, she completed me, and she had stood by me through thick and thin. So, why the hell couldn't I?

I brushed my fingers down her spine, all the way over her backside. Pushing her hair out of her face, her lips were slight parted, plump and looking so soft. I twirled her ring around her finger, suddenly realizing I wouldn't lose her, not ever. She would never hurt me. If I did give myself to her now, I knew she would treat it like the greatest treasure ever received. She wouldn't take anything for granted. I could trust her not to harm me because I was worthy of her. I loved her as much as she loved me. We could have each other back if I wanted. There was no pressure. I was just delusional and imagining it all because I was so used to feeling fear. Was I scared? No, I wasn't. I was just hanging on what I was so used to feeling. It was time to let it go. I knew I wanted her. My body told me so. I could even touch myself without fear and if I could do that, so could Alice. I trusted her more than I trusted myself.

"Alice," I called softly. I splayed my fingers into her tangled her. It was stiff from hairspray. "Baby, wake up." I traced my thumb over her lips.

Sleepily, she opened her eyes and stared at me, confused. "What is it?" she croaked.

I searched her lips and started kissing her slowly. She rolled off me and I followed her, while letting my body meet hers. I didn't want the distance. "Make love to me," I whispered. "I am ready."

She pulled back, while trying to read me and understand me. She didn't answer, just kissed me back moments later. I sat up on the bed and pulled my shirt off. I moved the sheet from her body, then gently tugging her panties down, leaving her naked. I laid back down next to her and let her take me in. She leaned over me and gently pulled my PJ bottoms down. I lifted my hips up with a soft smile on my lip inviting her to remove my panties. It sizzled in my stomach with raw anticipation. I suddenly wanted this even more now that I knew I could have it. Everything was okay.

"You are so beautiful, baby. So strong," she murmured. "How much you've had to overcome to be able to do this again. I want to cherish every single curve of you, because you are worth it. You deserve to feel how much I love you." Her voice was hushed, but filled with awe. She took her time gazing down at me, drinking me in. She softly ran her fingers over the rise of flesh on my pelvis. She smiled mildly. "You shaved." My skin was smooth and clean. It wasn't something that I had done for a while, mainly because I wasn't trusted with a razor. She smiled appreciatively and I knew why. It was mostly because she knew that it was how I liked to keep myself in the old days.

"I thought it was about time." I answered quietly. She leaned over me and gently kissed the smooth, shaven skin once, then locked her hands into mine.

Slowly, we kissed treasuring this long lost inseparability because that was what we were. Inseparable. No one would ever come between us. Our passion grew as our bodies merged so intimately. She worshipped every inch of my skin. She kissed every single one of my scars lovingly. I was rolled to my front where she kissed my back from the nape of my neck, down my spine and running her tongue over my behind, down to caressing my feet. She adored and cherished me. I never tensed or grew nervous with her all over me. I only welcomed her mouth and hands and returned her gestures wherever it was possible. We were all arms and legs, chests and backs, mouths and tongues that fused together so seamlessly. Perhaps, the fact that we had been apart drove us to this intense connection. Our bodies were so warm, languid and in tune with each other as we made love.

Dawn broke through the darkness signaling a new day was rising. We were sticky with sweat and the taste of Alice's sweet female flesh clung to my mouth. I was sated, breathing calmly and so was she. I twirled the ring around her slim finger already falling into that habit, when she kept running her hand gently over my naked chest. We didn't really need to say anything. What just transpired between us, said it all. There were no more words and no more insecurity. It was just us, as healthy as we could be and complete.

"Breakfast is in less than an hour," she mouthed.

I glanced at the clock. I hadn't slept at all during the night. "You wanna skip it?"

She yawned. "Nah, I want to see my family," she answered sweetly. I smiled. It was _our_ family now.

**The end**

oooooOOOOooooo

**I can't believe I actually managed to finish a multi-chaptered story and feel good about it. I experienced a lot of fun and a good amount of pain writing this, but it was worth it. **

**Dear reader, take care and be good to yourself. Don't forget to check out STARTING OVER.**

_**Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend**_

**Please check out my original story on www thumannlegend blogspot com**


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